Yes, ladies and gentleman- the moment you've all been waiting for- the absolutely complete and utterly flawless guide to horseback riding and tack usage.
My lovely assistant, Steed Connor will be helping demonstrate, ofcourse- as he lies here on the couch snoring while I compile this great piece of work.
We will first begin with the basics. The halter.
All tack must be well fitted to your individual 'horse' in order to keep both you and your steed comfortable and happy.
A halter is made for restraining your animal. This is an example of a ill-fitted halter. As you can see, if I were to try leading Connor out of his pasture, he could easily slide out of his halter and gallop away from me. This halter is just slightly too big.
Next comes the bridle. For this demonstration we will use a bosal, which is absolutely NOT made of my little brother's boyscout knot tying rope.
Your horse should not be able to rub it off.
As you can see, the bosal is most definitely the best way to control a young, excitable horse and should always be used by complete beginners and green two year olds.
We will next learn about bits. Bits should never been too small and your horse should be relaxed and happy with the bit in his mouth.
Thirdly is the saddle. Your saddle should not slide or turn if your horse randomely decides to sit down on the job.
Then comes the issue of saddle fit. Your saddle should not be too small for your horse, and should rest right behind the withers. This horse is just slightly mutton withered. Nothing to worry about! This saddle is also just a TINY bit too small. Your girth should not have to be secured by a rainbow belt.
Extra gadgets and tools to force your horse into frame should never be used. Martingales, sidereins, and overchecks are bad juju and make your pony sad.
Next comes the matter of RIDING.
Do not ride in poofy skirts. You will have a hard time getting on and might fall on your face.
This riders legs are too far forewards and she is yanking her poor nag's face off.
This riders horse's head is in a goood position but she has assumed the chairseat position.
This rider is doing very well, and you should be awesome like her.
Follow these basic rules and you will be a riding master in no time!