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Complete lifestyle change?

This is a discussion on Complete lifestyle change? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

     
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        05-20-2010, 08:14 PM
      #21
    Weanling
    I don't want to be rude to your parents, but I don't think you should put your life and ambitions on hold for dogs. As much as you and your parents might have a great relationship, you are a grown woman and you can't be held back just because they need a dog sitter. They have many months where they could work out other arrangements, maybe even having a couple different people take turns keeping the dogs.

    You aren't being selfish for wanting to go to school, it's something that will further your career and improve your quality of life. You are a grown woman, and sooner or later you will need to move out, and become independent of your family. The longer you wait to do it, the harder it is to do. If you wait another year (or more) to start on this, that's even more time until you reach your goals, and another year of wasting away at a job you don't like.

    You need to do this for you, to take control of your life, and do the things in life that you want to do. Don't sit back and wait to see where life takes you, be proactive and make it take you where you want to go.
         
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        05-20-2010, 08:44 PM
      #22
    Trained
    Not rude at all, Ptvintage.

    I'm going to wait until my mum is back from Sydney on Sunday - As she is much more rational than dad, who si very stubborn and set in his ways. Old farmers *rolls eyes*.

    I've been looking around and there are a lot of house sitters for free who have animal experience. I think the main thing he is worried about is our old dog, Chloe, who might cark it at anytime. It is also more complicated as we also have 5 dogs out at the farm - though there are people who could feed them if he asked, they just wouldn't get much excercise.

    I really want to do this, well, do something - There is no way I can stay in this job for another year.

    I'll be able to have a better talk with mum, especially as she knows how much I hate my job as she is the same - but she is stuck there now paying off our house, and I know she doesn't want the same for me.
         
        05-20-2010, 09:10 PM
      #23
    Trained
    You're 20. You need to do what is best for you and your parents should be happy for you. If they get upset then they'll get over it. You haven't mentioned any siblings so if you are an only child then they will get over it even faster. You may have to remind them that you are the one that will be choosing what nursing home they go to.
         
        05-20-2010, 10:52 PM
      #24
    Weanling
    It really sounds like you want to do this. Remember, with regards to your parents, it's the parents' job to raise their kids then get the hell out of the way. It's the parents' job to make sacrifices for their kids, not the kid's job to put their life on hold for the parents.

    It may be hard to leave your Dad, but a year is nothing for someone as old as he is, it will fly by (given that I'm likely younger than your dad, and years fly by for me these days ). If your Mom or Dad do not want you to pursue your dreams because you wont be there to talk to or to take care of the dogs then they do not have their priorities straight.

    Frankly, the stronger your parents object to your plan because of how it will inconvenience them, the more I think you need to get the hell out of that house now.

    Try this method of decision making. Find a six sided die. On 1,2,3 you stay. On 4,5,6 you go. Roll the die, then do what you really wanted to do anyway (your gut reaction to the die roll should give you a good indication of what you really want to do).

    Good luck!
         
        05-20-2010, 11:22 PM
      #25
    Started
    You can't be seriously thinking of putting your life on hold to dog sit. Just think about that for a while. It would be ridiculous.
         
        05-20-2010, 11:30 PM
      #26
    Trained
    Quote:
    Frankly, the stronger your parents object to your plan because of how it will inconvenience them, the more I think you need to get the hell out of that house now.
    I just want to clarify that I haven't talked about this in any depth with my parents yet. I simply mentioned that I had been thinking about it to dad in front of the TV last night, and he said that next year might not be the best time because of their holiday.

    I honestly don't think they will 'object' - it just might make things logistically a bit harder to organise.

    They are very supportive of me and have never held me back from doing anything I chose to.

    Thank you everyone for your posts so far :]
         
        05-20-2010, 11:59 PM
      #27
    Yearling
    Do it. And do it this year.
    Listen to Kevin.
    If I had the chance to go away to school today for something I love, I could not go. I am the one with 2 kids on her hip!!
    Timing is perfect. No relationship to make you want to stay. This might change a year from now, and being in love can influence all your decisions, not necessarily for the best.
    Your parents will be fine, they can hire someone to care for their dogs while they go away. Maybe there is a young animal lover in your area who would be willing to exercise your dog? Here in Canada high school kids need to rack up so many hours of community service in order to graduate.. what about there?
    You have a wonderful opportunity in front of you. You are young, strong, smart, and capable.
    If you don't do this, you will Always look back with regret. If you do it and fail, you can always find a boring job.
    I wish I were in your shoes right now!
    Best of luck.
         
        05-21-2010, 12:43 AM
      #28
    Weanling
    Well, the problem is, it's never going to be a perfect time to change your life. It's a problem that plagues everyone. There's always going to be something that makes you think "well, I guess I'll wait to do that...". This time it's taking care of the dogs, but the following year, it could be something else. Something will always pop up to make you want to put it off.

    That's why it's so important to push through and MAKE IT the time to do it. That'll mean telling your parents "sorry, but I have to do this", or it'll mean selling your horses, even if you don't get as much as you want for them. I would also say not to even worry about not having enough saved up, student loans can have very little interest and aren't a burden. My husband pays about $100 a month for his. Plus assuming the the semester starting in the fall, you'd have a little bit of time to save up.

    I know it's tough, but stay focused on your goal, and you will make it happen. Please please please don't let anything make you put off pursuing your goal.

    I was about your age when I got shoved out my parents door, and honestly it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Once you take the big leap, things have a way of working themselves out.

    I also think you'd really enjoy being at school. College life is a great experience in itself, and I'm not talking about just drinking and parties, but there's lots of activities you could be apart of, plus you'd be learning about something you loved.

    And as someone else mentioned, if for some reason it didn't work out, there's always a boring government job you could go back to.

    I know I'm probably writing alot, but I'm really enthused for you! I really think you should do it!
         
        05-21-2010, 08:30 AM
      #29
    Yearling
    True, ptvintage, maybe never Perfect timing. Except in hindsight. But far easier at this point in her life... no kids, no husband, not a home owner, unfulfilling job...a change in any one of those factors would make leaving a lot harder.
         
        05-21-2010, 10:42 AM
      #30
    Weanling
    ^^ Oh I completely agree with you, Skipsfirstspike.
         

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