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Confession Time

870K views 13K replies 218 participants last post by  jaydee 
#1 ·
Today I rode my horse for the first time in a little over a year. Well, more like putting around for about 15 minutes but better than I had been doing. I'm trying to find my "want to" again. I don't know where or why it went away but I'd like it back.

The good news is TJ deserves a gold medal for not forgetting his manners in the past year and I wasn't rusty enough to fall off even though I was bareback. :clap: The bad news is I WAS rusty enough that it put my hip in a bind that took a while to walk off. (I need a smiley that shows a little old woman walking with a cane LOL)

If anybody else has something they need to get off their chest please feel free to share it here.
 
#10,496 ·
Spring has finally arrived in Maine.... I think.....

We had a few "warm" days with temperatures in the 40s (but it still crawls back into the 20s at night) so I have been spending a few hours each night after work at the barn. Yep, I am frozen like a fish stick by the time I get home, and I require a hot bath and a seat under my heated blanket to thaw out, but the progress I am seeing is amazing.

So, I still suck at lunging my own horses. I think Duke has never been free lunged before, so we will have to start from the beginning with him. And Loretta has really been a pasture puff for the greater part of the last 1.5 years due to her anhydrosis and abscess, so she has gotten a bit moody when asked to actually do something. So for now, I will only work on lunging them when Michelle is around to supervise me (and them).

Since she has the flu, I have been working on basic groundwork and manners. I am now able to hatler and walk Duke from his pasture, up to the roundpen without a lead. He just follows. Going back he tends to go full steam head, but runs straight for the gate. He thinks that Loretta is eating ALL of the hay. Which, she is. But when I tell him to slow down, "ho" he does. He is really food motivated, which makes training him easy in some ways, and more challenging in others. We have been doing circles in the round pen without a head. I have gotten him to "walk on" "whoa" "gee" "haw" "back" "turn" based on verbal and crazy arm commands. I think I may have made up my own training program. I do straight arm for walk on, whoa I put my arm out to the side, gee and haw I do a raised arm in that direction, back I just back up into his space and turn is a full circle or u-turn with my body. I have noticed that when we do work, he prefers if I stand on his right. I knew that he had issues being approached from the left. I am almost positive now it is just a vision issue from old age. Our vet said he has "old eyes" but nothing out of the ordinary. So ironically enough, Duke is my rock star in groundwork. We have not gotten him to free-lunge yet, but I think getting his basic directions down is a good start. He does really well with respecting my personal space and does well with my crazy, flailing arm commands. Yesterday after about an hour of work, we had a nice grooming session because he is shedding like crazy!

Loretta is a bit of a puzzle in the round pen. She has clearly been free lunged before and knows what to do. She has gotten a bit mare-ish and will only lunge when she is in the mood. She is not motivated by food, or praise, or anything. She will give you about 15 minutes of attention, and then she zones off into her own little Loretta world. So with her, we are also starting from scratch, but a more advanced scratch. I have gone over basic groundwork with her, all of the same verbal and arm flailing queues. She knows left and right as opposed to gee and haw and when I say turn to her she always does a full, close circle. She does back exceptionally well, and will also do a crossover backward, so maybe she has had some fancy, dressage like training. Who knows... Either way, I can only keep her attention for 15 minutes. If my husband is there, she could care less about me, and ignores everything. She is clearly a daddy's girl.

This week I am going to pick up a few rope halters that we can use for basic groundwork and lunging. I need them both to learn to disengage their rear. Neither of them lay down for naps, they lock their knees and stand for naps, so I need for them to learn to be a bit more loosey-goosey. I also need to go pick up a lunge whip, just in case, I need it to keep somebodies attention. Duke has a hard time seeing the swinging rope, and if it is too noisy, he gets totally lost. So maybe holding a lunge whip behind his bum from the side would be better? Who knows... I was originally just going to use a stick to see if it would work, but my husband said me and sticks are dangerous. I could get a splinter, or impaled if I trip and fall. So lunge whip it is.

On a cute, and funny note, I am going to teach Duke some "modified" dressage moves, and we are going to do "Dukey Dressage". He is super good and obedient when it comes to the groundwork we have done so far, so I think I want to teach him to cross over in both directions, so I can make up a little Dukey dance. Nothing fancy, fast, or requiring too much turning, because he is an old man after all. But when we do our little round pen sessions, he will follow me around, mimic my movements, following my commands. It is really really adorable. As adorable as a ton of horse can be :)
 
#10,498 ·
@twixy79 "Spring has finally arrived in Maine.... I think....."

We are feeling spring a little bit further North, too. Our pond is still frozen over, but not thick enough to walk on, so, yea!!

I confess, DH and I have very different perspectives some things. I was out in the paddock this morning, raking poop. It is still quite frosty in the mornings here, so I took my first, piping hot, perfectly fixed mug of coffee out there with me, and a teeny, tiny, insignificant little miniscule fleck of dried horse poo MAY have landed in my coffee cup.

Of course, I drank the coffee anyway, and DH couldn't believe it. We were hurrying to get into town, and he thought I should have waited and gotten a cup in town, but that was, what? 30 minutes away? Maybe 40?

No way!

And he eats seaweed and raw snails and limpets off of the lobster traps out at sea and makes hermit crab tail sandwiches, so I don't think he is really one to get grossed out by a speck of horse poo!
 
#10,501 ·
I understand completely. Sunday I spent 10 hours mucking poo from the round pen with a friend. The poo was buried under snow, covered by snow, compacted into snow, etc. At 1pm we ordered lunch, and ate outside, sitting on hay bales, hands and clothes covered in poo particles, hair, hay, dust, etc. The BOs hubby was amazed that the 3 women were out there eating amongst the filth.

Lunch was hot. I was hungry. And washing my hands to make poo mud in the barn seemed worse than my current hand hygiene situation.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
 
#10,500 ·
This weekend is my last working for the rest of the pregnancy. I'm going to sit back and sip iced tea on the beach while DH is working doing a remodeling project :razz: I get to be the designated overseer (just shout how to do it right) lol just kidding.

Yeah the whole thing with people thinking they can just reach out and touch anyone is ridiculous. Just cause there is a little person in there doesn't mean you have the right to touch! I will get at least one "don't touch" tshirt. I really like the buddha one you found that's funny! :D

Welp, got the health cert. and coggins today. Tack boxes are packed and ready to go. Looks like we are all set for my mare to ship out Sunday night to her new digs. I'm going to miss her, but hopefully I will see her towards the end of next week, as I'm trying to make sure we can leave early enough to stop through Ohio before we go to Virginia. She'll be in good hands but I'm a nervous mama!

I was so relieved the coggins came back negative. While that may seem silly to the rest of you, I'd never coggins tested her before and was a bit terrified of what would happen if it came out positive. Receptionist at the vet office told me neither she nor any of the vets have ever seen a positive coggins test.

I confess that the wind knocked my pet bird's cage over and he got out! :shock: this was a first ever! I have a little pet lovebird. He is tame. Wings are not clipped. His cage is small enough to be portable, so I often put him out on the porch on nice days so he can yell at the wild birds. Today was pretty windy. The wind knocked out plastic patio chair over onto his cage, which knocked his cage onto the ground, and then he got out! DH heard him chirping and thought it sounded like he was distressed (I was in the midst of writing down directions to vet office), so he went out and checked on him. He walked out to see the cage knocked over and our little bird sitting on the fence, chirping at him like "fix it!". He picked the cage up, bird flew right back over and landed on it. I was outside at this point, and he stepped up for me and let me put him back home.

I'm amazed he didn't fly away to be with the wild lovebirds, or get carried off on the strong winds. I'm so thankful I've still got my little guy with me because that could have been horrible! I'm only putting him on the porch now when I am out there in the mornings so I can make sure nothing like that ever happens again.

He seemed a little stressed from his ordeal but is fine now. And boy was he glad to be home! Even fully flighted with the ability to fly off into the wild blue and never be seen again, he stayed and wanted back home. He clearly was not "born to be wild". I want to keep him around for a long, long time, so I'm so very very thankful he is OK!
 
#10,503 ·
@twixy79, sounds like Loretta and especially Duke are really coming around and doing good. Are you still taking riding lessons?

@Captain Evil, pffft...what's a little digested grass/hay in your coffee? Tell hubby it gave you a vegetable serving. LOL

@blue eyed pony, THANK GOODNESS!

@horseluvr2524, safe travels for you and your critters! I bet it was a huge relief to get your little bird back safe into his home. I had and escape artist hamster years ago but as long as I left his cage door open he usually returned to it. The one time he didn't he went under my apartment door and went visiting the neighbor across the hall. They found him in their closet and stuck him in a pan and a screen over the top. They taped a note to their mailbox that they had found a hamster and I was so happy. LOL




My only excitement for the day was getting stung by a wasp. They were crazy out there today but I'm not allergic to stings so no biggie. Drawing salve is becoming my cure for all ouchies on the horses or me. I made sure there was no stinger left behind, put a blob of salve on my finger then covered it with a bandaid and now I can't even tell I got stung.
 
#10,504 ·
Still have a very sore throat from the cold, but feeling a tad better, so as I wait for the printer to do its work here I am :) Thanks for the bestwishes
@JCnGrace Thanks for your suggestions about Tuya. You are right, she has never been for so long inside, unfortunately. May be the main cause, but I know BO supplements some of his horses with a protein supplement, I'll definately ask him to buy for her. Should that make her hot? Nervous wreck asking here, lol!!
I hope your husband is better from the cold, they're such cry babies, my father is the same, has the tiniest cut looks like he is going to die, lol!!
How is the hoarder situation? Well lets hope she forgets she asked you for help...
Wasp stung... The only time I was bitten was by a wasp, and it hurt like hell! Was on my boob (I was wearing a bikini), ouch!!
@blue eyed pony I really would like Tuya to be seen by a chiropractor, if there were any around. Which unfortunately is not the case. We are still quite far behind in horse care department... I've searched but with no results :(
I am sorry about your bf's dog, it was for the best and he is pain free now, and happy to hear your dog Masai is reacting well to treatments.
I am like you, if I could I would save every neglected animal that crossed my path.
Also hoping you feel more high spirited soon.
@Tazzie Thanks for the input on Tuya. Sincerely I hope that's just lack of muscle from all the time kept in, and that I can work through it. I've always heard hill work is great but no hills around here :( This Winter has been crazy and the worst ever, can you believe it still rained all week? So tired of it...
I love Izzie's pictures with the kids. It's heartwarming :) She is like Tuya, very well mannered with children, she is much more stubborn with me, lol! Such cute videos, I can spend like forever doing that with my friends or children on her.
And give the old man a hug from me. Senior horses have a very special spot on my heart
@AtokaGhosthorse I am sorry about the loss of such a young one. It's always harder it seems...
The older I am the less I tolerate plain stupidity, and the most I love animals and being far from most people. It is what it is.
I have a recurrent dream where my mare can understand perfectly what I say to her, but she never speaks to me. If she did I am pretty sure she would be very demanding, like on daily routine 'take me out, take me in, now take me out again, ok enough take me in', in the arena when she drops shoulder into the middle 'I am bored to death, is it over yet??', or on the trail when she senses my nervousness 'silly human I got this'.
Oh wait, I get her perfectly, lol!! :) She always speaks very loud
@horseluvr2524 I felt really uncomfortable every time my best friend would ask me to touch her belly when her baby was moving. The opposite! So I totally get you, and I was never pregnant. Your bird definately was not bred to be wild, so cool that he stayed and looked for the cage comfort. He was like 'ok, I'm done with being outside', lol!
Glad all is well with your horse, in a heartbeat you will be able to ride again.
@PoptartShop There you are!! Lol! :)
Such exciting news, I bet you are dying to move in finally and unpack your stuff in there :)
I hope Camdem gets well from his skin condition soon.
@GMA100 I hope you all get well soon in there. At least sister left already and you have your house back. The picture is adorable! :)
@twixy79 no signs of Spring in here :( Rain and cold everyday... Looks like what you are doing with your horses is working, so keep it up! :)
@Captain Evil we do grills at the barn as well, with the horses nearby getting groomed, etc. No one cares about that. I am pretty sure I ate and drank a lot of things in there I was not really supposed to, lol!

Friday... What a dream to have two days to rest.
Will try to find BO at the barn and talk to him about Tuya. He is getting the other place ready so I hope I can see him.
Otherwise than that nothing really interesting to confess.
Whew this was long, lol!!

Have a nice weekend everyone!!
 
#10,505 ·
Guys, could y’all keep Angel in y’alls thoughts and prayers? He’s on the way to the ER via Ambulance. He had a couple apnea episodes and then started having seizures :( Seems like this poor little guy just can’t get a break from medical problems.
 
#10,506 ·
@GMA100 - OML, I'm so sorry to hear. I hope your little Angel is OK. Keep us updated!!

I can't imagine how you do what you do - go through all this worry and stress, cause these kids must mean a lot to you - but I greatly admire you for it!
 
#10,508 ·
@GMA100 - OML, I'm so sorry to hear. I hope your little Angel is OK. Keep us updated!!

I can't imagine how you do what you do - go through all this worry and stress, cause these kids must mean a lot to you - but I greatly admire you for it!
Well, unless you do it, I don’t believe you can imagine what it’s like. It’s a totally different world. And honestly, I’m just a sister not a parent. Of course, since I’m older, I do help take care of them more, but still. I can’t imagine being a parent. And yes, they mean SO much to us! I really can’t imagine life without them.
My signature explains part of the reason why we do what we do. If we don’t want there to be abuse and hurting kids, we have to help those hurting kids.
And really, don’t admire me. I’m just a regular human with regular human issues. I just love kids and don’t want to see them hurting. Same with my family. We love them, care for them with our whole hearts and when they go home, we have a peace knowing we helped changed the world.

Currently Angel is doing better. He was running a fairly high fever, and he’s getting put on a IV. He’s not having any apnea or seizures as of now. So thank goodness! It really was scary, as I had him and he just stopped breathing for a moment. Thankfully, I rubbed his belly and he started again, but that was just REALLY freaky!

Thanks for the prayers! Precious Angel really needs them.
 
#10,510 ·
@GMA100, certainly prayers for little Angel. That his health improves and for strength to your family to help him through it.

@TuyaGirl, well I don't think additional protein causes them to be hyper but that may only be because I don't have hyper horses. I've fed corn and oats for years and have never thought that made them any more energetic either and other people swear it does their horses so... It could be I don't see a difference because mine are out 24/7 so are able to kick up their heels anytime they have a burst of energy. You could try it with Tuya and if you think it's causing a problem then delete it from her menu.


Ouch to getting stung on the boob. The nasty ****** could have picked a less personal place to seek its revenge on mankind. LOL
 
#10,511 ·
Update: Angel is still having seizures every few seconds that are a few seconds long. He’s going to be starting ANOTHER med and will be having another 24 hour eeg. He also had pneumonia.
I appreciate the prayers so much! Poor Princess (angels sister) is worried and upset. She hasn’t seen police or an ambulance since 'that day' when all the horrible stuff had happeded at first to angel. We tried to keep her away, but she flipped and we didn’t want her to be screaming in another room, so we just held her.

I’m really having a hard time excepting that someone did something to him and literally ruined his whole life. He should be a happy healthy active baby, but instead he’s on a lot of medication and has problems almost daily. Anyways! I’m happy he’s alive and we that we have him to love for the time being.
 
#10,512 ·
@GMA100 – I’m sorry to hear that Angel’s so ill and how it’s affecting his sister. Thoughts are with you and you’re family.

@TuyaGirl – glad you’re feeling better. Ouch, that’s the last place you want to be stung!:smile:

@Phantomrose – It’ll help Jet to get out and about - broaden his horizons. Do you want to do cross country eventually?

@Captain Evil and @twixy79 – It’s normal not to see the dirt anymore. We used to muck-out the stables with gloves on, lifting the poo with our hands. Sometimes it’s quicker than pitchforks if the horses are in all day. One of the students couldn’t find any gloves, so she did it with her bare hands. It made many of the riders and parents shudder.

We spent our lunch time in the hay barn, which didn’t have facilities. The parents had a few raised eyebrows when I started unpacking, as I’d been picking things off my hands, out of my hair and from down the front of my shirt. When the student opened a bag of crisps and started munching, many of them turned green and made their excuses. Weaklings!:icon_rolleyes::smile:

@horseluvr2524 – you’re right, exposure to the germs keeps you healthier in the long-run.
Your love bird sounds really cute. He obviously knows where he’ll be looked after.

@JCnGrace – Ouch! I stood on a dying wasp in the dining room last year with a barefoot and I’d a few choice words as I hopped to a chair. I do love bumble bees though and will happily lift them out of troughs and off the ground for some sugar water if they’re exhausted.

I confess that I’ve had a rather boring day as well. The car went in for a service this morning. It was supposed to be taken at 8 but they took it later and the mechanic didn’t get finished until 11. I spent the time sitting on an uncomfortable seat watching people come and go. It needed a new tyre but the mechanic said there was no rush as long as it was done before its MOT (legal test to be on the road) in 5 months.

I decided in the afternoon that it should be changed and so spent another hour waiting in a que at my local garage.


I think it’s finally spring here. We’ve had snow and freezing temperatures for the last few weeks and next week is supposed to be sunny and 20C/68F. The weather doesn’t know whether it’s coming or going!


I hope everyone has a good weekend!
 
#10,513 ·
I confess we have a dying calf in the back of our truck right now. He was born sometime last night, and with all the snow flying he didn't have the strength to get up and get his first drink. He likely had a problem from the start, which is now increased by the fact that he didn't get his vital first colostrum and was out in the snow for so long. To boot, the mother is very aggressive/protective so we couldn't get close to him for the longest time. We finally figured out a way to get close enough to the little guy using the tractor and tubed some colostrum into him. Then we put him in the back of the truck to warm up - we do that with a lot of our calves. I gave him a shot and stayed with him for about half an hour, holding his head and encouraging him to keep breathing. Every breath is a labouring achievement - I sadly don't expect him to last long. Damned if this life doesn't suck at times...

Sorry for this post; just wanted to vent some.
 
#10,516 ·
@JoBlueQuarter - Just feel good in the fact at least you're trying your best to help the little guy out. It's a sad situation. :(
@GMA100 - Poor Angel; my thoughts are with you, Angel, and your family. I see that you guys are giving a lot of love to him, and a lot of care. I hope things turn for the better.
@TuyaGirl - Enjoy those two days of rest! I hope you get a chance to talk to the BO!
@Caledonian - Yeah, I eventually do want to do Cross Country with him when he is ready. I did some XC schooling before, and it was a really fun experience. He's going to be a little Eventing Pony, so next weekend will be exciting for both him and me. I just love watching the other riders school their horses when we go out- I want to be ready to school him one day on the XC course. All in good time. I hope you have a good weekend as well, and that you spend some nice days outside.

Spring has sprung so far in this area. Today it was almost 70F and tomorrow is suppose to be the same. I think we're finally getting some warmer weather. I wish everyone a happy and relaxing weekend. :)
 
#10,517 ·
@JoBlueQuarter - Just feel good in the fact at least you're trying your best to help the little guy out. It's a sad situation. :(
I'm happy to report that after tubing him twice and giving him a couple different medications, he is well on his way to making a miraculous recovery! :D He was already standing without help, and even drank a bit from his mother.
 
#10,518 ·
@JoBlueQuarter So sad for the calf, but happy he’s doing better! We’ve had that happen many times in the past. While it was a pain in the rear then, now I kinda miss it lol
Keep him as warm as possible and keep him pumped with probiotics till he’s 8 days old. If he was late to get colostrum the probiotics will help a lot. Do you have any Tri-start or Tri-start-JR? That is great with getting a weaker calf along. If you could, I’d give him two raw eggs a day. It helps boost amuse systems. Not sure how you’d get it into em if he’s not being bottle fed, but surely there’s a way. Also, A Tablespoon of apple cider vinegar twice a day helps them not get scours. Keep us updated on how he’s doing!

@Phantomrose yay for spring!!! I always feel so refreshed when we start getting green grass and the trees start budding.


Angel is home and at first he did awesome. He was very happy to be back and was smiling and cooing. Then, he threw up twice. Once was on me. Not sure why, but the doc said to just keep an eye on him. He then had a couple light seizures, but nothing crazy or new for him. So, hopefully sweet man is one the mend!! We’re SO tired. I had no idea worry could tire you out like that, but it sure did! The only physical labor I did today was Till the garden, push a stroller and have a water fight, but I feel like I’ve been doing manual labor all day long! Hopefully I get a good nights rest and don’t wake up to someone puking, having seizures or not breathing. :)
Skin Child Hand Photography Toddler
 
#10,520 ·
Welcome! And if he ends up getting scours and needs to be treated, I can find a recipe that we make to help them get over it and PM it to you :)

And thanks! Angel really is one of the cutest babies I’ve ever seen. I hate I have to block his adorable marshmallow cheeks and big brown eyes. I love how his hair is so fluffy! It literally sticks straight up in the air. <3
 
#10,521 ·
@GMA100 as I was reading your first post I felt just devastated so I was very relieved to read the second one. Thank you for taking the time when you're exhausted to update us. Prayers continuing!

@JoBlueQuarter, thank goodness your calf is coming around and that mama cow is still accepting him. Farming/ranching is a hard way to make a living for sure.

@Caledonian, we had temps in the 80's (F) today with a forecast of snow flurries possible on Sunday. Crazy stuff! Smart move getting all the car work in one day instead of putting off getting the new tire and have to waste at least a part of another day.


Same to you @Phantomrose for having a good weekend. Don't forget to let us know how Jet did on your outing.


I confess as much as I hate talking on the phone I got one of those calls today I just love. About 15 years ago I sent hubby to a gaited sale with a 3 year old Walker we had bought as a weanling, raised and started him under saddle. I was on foal watch so couldn't go to the sale but hubby assured me the folks that bought him were really nice and had a lovely place (he delivered him). Not heard a thing from them until today. They still have Shaker (he is even still called the same name), he's been a good horse for them all these years and they love and consider him a member of the family. She wanted to thank us for the way he was raised and had been going through some pictures of him and wanted our address so she could make copies and send them along. I hope she remembers and follows through, I'd love to see what he looks like now. She was also hoping I still had some of his relatives left because she wanted another one. Couldn't help her out there since we just bought a few young Walkers to raise and sell back then. I told her we'd had another one from the same breeder that lived in CA now but she'd have to pry that horse out of his owner's cold, dead hands. LOL She said she understood that because she felt the same way. Made my day to get that call and I almost didn't answer the phone when I didn't recognize the number.
 
#10,537 ·
I confess as much as I hate talking on the phone I got one of those calls today I just love. About 15 years ago I sent hubby to a gaited sale with a 3 year old Walker we had bought as a weanling, raised and started him under saddle. I was on foal watch so couldn't go to the sale but hubby assured me the folks that bought him were really nice and had a lovely place (he delivered him). Not heard a thing from them until today. They still have Shaker (he is even still called the same name), he's been a good horse for them all these years and they love and consider him a member of the family. She wanted to thank us for the way he was raised and had been going through some pictures of him and wanted our address so she could make copies and send them along. I hope she remembers and follows through, I'd love to see what he looks like now. She was also hoping I still had some of his relatives left because she wanted another one. Couldn't help her out there since we just bought a few young Walkers to raise and sell back then. I told her we'd had another one from the same breeder that lived in CA now but she'd have to pry that horse out of his owner's cold, dead hands. LOL She said she understood that because she felt the same way. Made my day to get that call and I almost didn't answer the phone when I didn't recognize the number.
Um... my BIL has a TWH stud (recently gelded I think) named Shaker. He lives in southern Ohio. This sounds like too much of a coincidence. He's got a blue grey spotted paint look to him.

They've had several lovely foals out of him. He is/was a super well behaved stud. Went on rides with mares all the time. So sweet and gentle to be around too. Haven't had it confirmed but I think he is gelded now.

I thought my mare would be going to live with them. Apparently they have too many horses so I had to make other arrangements. I found good full care boarding though.

I confess that horse shipping is stressful! This is the third time change the horse shipper has given me. I understand that they have a lot to coordinate, picking up so many horses and driving constantly. I'm just annoyed that I woke up stupid early this morning for no good reason because they contacted saying that the time window changed again and they are coming later in the morning. Oh well. At least DH gets to sleep in. Not having to deal with his grouchy morning butt is one good thing :rofl:

I'm going to miss my mare soooo much! I just keep reminding myself that it's not forever. It's not as if I'm selling her. It's just for a while. And in the meantime, she gets to enjoy fresh green pasture for the first time since she was a filly, and I get to enjoy beachside living.
 
#10,522 ·
So I was NOT coming down with a cold, thankfully. Last time I got a cold this early in the season I got another one later. I get a cold EVERY SINGLE WINTER at least once no matter what I do.... it's just one of those things. And I get man flu every time I get a cold so I really, really want to NOT get two this year please and thank you.

Unfortunately I was right about this mood being the start of another slow spiral downwards, and I'm barely functional at the best of times so there's really not much farther down to go. But like I said I will survive. Especially with the good friends I have both here and "in real life" (though no one can honestly tell me online friends aren't real).
 
#10,524 ·
@Phantomrose - thank you! :love:

Unfortunately I have pretty nasty anxiety and depression and sometimes there's no reason for my moods at all. I think this one was brought on by the stress, fear, and grief of the past couple of weeks... so I DO have a reason this time... but it's quite normal for me not to. These moods do pass though.
 
#10,526 ·
Thank you @JCnGrace :)

Unfortunately due to some pretty uh... not great personal experiences I am deeply distrustful of mental health professionals. I dare say this forum alone has done more for me than years of professional therapy. And that doesn't even begin to take into account the incredible friends I have both irl and online on other sites have done for me. But I will be okay :)
 
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