(hope I spelled that right LOL)
I'm so happy for you and your horsey breakthrough. I think EVERYONE on the forum has at one time or another, been somewhat overfaced or had a horse that we were scared of. Whether the cause was an accident or just a horse that's plain to green for us at the time we own them, we've ALL been there.
I have a big Warmblood that was pushing me all over the place and a NIGHTMARE to ride. He was SUCH a bully that I had just about given up on riding him and then, I found my Angel. A wonderful trainer/teacher that understood that as she put it "You need a promotion and your horse needs a Demotion". She makes me feel SO empowered and like "hey I can REALLY do this!! :)"
I was TERRIFIED the first time I rode him in the arena. He's about 17hh and that's a LOT of horse to have to fight with. The first day we trained we mostly worked on ground work I only really rode him to cool him out but girl.... it was like my heart grew wings that day. He just plodded along like the obediant horse that I always dreamed he could be. Yes he's green but were working everything out. It gave me such HOPE....
So I know EXACTLY how you feel and I'm SO SO happy that you conquered your fears and "went there". I think that is the ONLY way we grow and horse people and as people in general.