Convincing husband to buy horse - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 16 Old 01-18-2013, 12:57 PM Thread Starter
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Convincing husband to buy horse

I had another tread a while ago about leasing and buying a horse.

The good news is that I am now on a half lease with a beautiful 17h warmblood mare and learning dressage.

My husband is totally supportive of the lease, but he is still dead set against me buying a horse. He is saying that it will ruin us financially.

We both work full time and earn more than enough to provide excellent care for a horse. I want to buy a horse within the next 18 months to 2 years... so what tactics can I use to gently convince him? I am in my mid 30's and don't want to wait much longer to buy my first horse.
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post #2 of 16 Old 01-18-2013, 01:07 PM
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Maybe try this: work out a budget for what it would cost you monthly in your area to keep a horse. Give yourself a little buffer for just in case. Then, agree with your husband that you will set aside that amount of money every month in a savings account. Do that for 6 months, a year, whatever it ends up being. At the end of that time, discuss with your husband how you've coped with that amount of money being unavailable every month. (Nice bonus, you may have your horse purchase price/tack money/emergency vet fund right there in the savings you've put aside)

I think your best bet is to be as logical and practical as possible. Don't expect your husband to be swayed by arguments involving a lot of emotion. If you've done the budgeting correctly and have still been living comfortably etc, there should be no reason for your husband to disagree.
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post #3 of 16 Old 01-18-2013, 01:10 PM
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Do you have anything to do with planning the budget in your household? If not, and you don't know where you stand financially, you'd better see the numbers before insisting on the purchase. Your husband might be right.
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post #4 of 16 Old 01-18-2013, 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted by nikelodeon79 View Post
Do you have anything to do with planning the budget in your household? If not, and you don't know where you stand financially, you'd better see the numbers before insisting on the purchase. Your husband might be right.
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This is good advice. My husband is very supportive of my horses, but he has suggested that we liquidate the horses we aren't using. Sadly this includes my "old man" (20 years old) that no one uses and is just a pasture puff. This wouldn't be a problem, but he's a hardkeeper. We've tried everything with him, he just won't gain weight. His bone structure wouldn't really support a larger mass, but I feel that seeing his ribs makes him too skinny.

I guess he's a little nervous because we are big into cars and have multiple cars, I brought 3 cars of my own to our marriage and he had around 6. Along with Logan he wants to sell 2 out of 3 miniature horses and the problem isn't the initial upkeep of the horses... It's the shots, the teeth, board fees, coggins, farrier, the no-end-tack-buying, and emergency calls. I'm thinking if my husband and I had a facility where we didn't have to board... he'd be more inclined to keep them.

When you create that buffer, be sure you have factored it in for a potential emergency...

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post #5 of 16 Old 01-18-2013, 01:20 PM
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do you have any other costly hobbies or habits especially unhealthy ones you could switch your horse upkeep for?

years ago my sister-in-law talked my brother into agreeing on her purchase, board and upkeep for a horse by giving up smoking.

I talked myself into a couple of years ago reasoning I had stopped smoking 3 years prior and the money i had spent on that could be used for a healthy, loving hobby....

I can't use it anymore because now there are 3 horses and a pony......

Don't take life so seriously. After all no one gets out alive.
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post #6 of 16 Old 01-18-2013, 05:33 PM
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I'd ask him why he thinks the way he does and get his perspective. If his fears are about your total finances that gives you a place to start a discussion. Then sit down together and pull all the bills and figure out how much you actually have to work with. Write out a current budget, and don't forget to include putting money away in savings for emergencies and retirement. Also figure out just how much the horse will cost per month-including insurance for vet bills or the worst case. Then and only then will you be able to know if you can truly afford to own vs leasing.

Good luck!

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post #7 of 16 Old 01-18-2013, 06:51 PM
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It is forcing you to justify your proposed purchase from initial outlay to up-keep to "fit". This is a good thing. When all you get is, "if you want horse 'x', buy it", you don't have anyone to bounce it against - it is very frustrating.

There is just as much horse sense as ever, but the horses have most of it.
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post #8 of 16 Old 01-19-2013, 12:49 PM Thread Starter
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I manage our budget and we are currently spending $1100 per month on childcare. In Sept. next year my daughter will be going to kindergarten and that money will be free. So it is not like we will be missing out on anything from our current lifestyle. We are currently saving about $1000 per month towards retirement and emergencies.

My husband said that there are better things to spend that money on. I don't want anything else - this is a lifetime dream and I am working very hard each day toward that goal. How can he say it is not important?

Oh and I don't have any other hobbies or habbits. I don't buy expensive clothes and try to buy everything for our household on sale or at costco to save money.

Can someone please give me the approx. monthly costs for these items and anything else I need to take into consideration. I live in the city where everything is extremely expensive (comparitive to New York City).

Board: $850 (includes hay, grain & bedding)
Weekly lessons/training: $120
Farrier (all 4 shod):
Worming & shots:
Clipping/mane pulling (until I learn how to do it myself):
Tack repair (I will probably buy new initially):
Dressage show fees (only a couple of schooling shows at first)

Thanks all!
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post #9 of 16 Old 01-19-2013, 01:48 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: west palm beach, fl
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shoeing can be anywhere form $100 to $300 fo all four depending on how extensive te work needed is.
supplements will run you about 50-100 a month, maybe more if your horse has a chronic issue
teeth are around fifty a yr, sometimes more.
womring adn shots, yout looking at 400-700 a yr
clipping and pulling dependss on who you hire
tack repair/show fees- cant help
then youve got your emergency funds. and of course any place you want to tae your horse will cost money, and then theres the accessories you'll want....
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post #10 of 16 Old 01-19-2013, 04:34 PM
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See in my household I would get in trouble if I took that 1100$ and basically called dibs on it to put towards a horse. Because technically half of that would be his. You should also find out ways you could save money.

Some ways I believe you can save money is:
- outside 24/7 board (opposed to stalled)
- dont bother paying someone to clip/pull manes, just learn to do it yourself from the beginning
- have your horse barefoot if he/she can be without causing soundness issues. Not all horses need to be shod on all 4.
- Buy used tack off kijiji
- Make a deal with the barn to do part of the care for your horse for a discounted price
- if you are comfortable with it, you might be able to give your horse its vaccinations, I hear some people save money that way.

Figure out what you NEED for your horse for it to be 100% healthy, sound and happy. And figure out what would be WANTS / NICE TO HAVES.

Then if you need more money/ assistance on paying for your horse you can always do small things to help save money or make more. Can you carpool instead of driving 2 vehicles (unless you do this already), take transit (if it saves you more), get a partboarder, get a better paying job, offer to help out at your barn for money or discount on boarding.
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