Coping with Loss of a Horse - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 31 Old 04-20-2012, 01:43 AM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Zealand
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It is so hard when you are coping with loss and also have to cope with insensitive people at the same time. My last family dog (before I moved out and got dogs of my own) was put down at 6 years old due to lunging at a neighbours child and almost biting her, she had also previously bitten two adults that were visiting. After having dog trainers out with no success my mum made the awful decision to have her PTS as rehoming her seemed too unfair and unsafe, she loved my mum to death and would have been miserable in a new home. I went with my mum to the vets and was devastated, the next day a friend called to commiserate and asked when we were getting a new dog. That was over 10 years ago and I still have a photo of her next to my bed. I never really kept up with that friend either after that, I just couldnt believe he could have asked me that the day after and not thought it to be insensitive. Surround yourself in people that understand or just chat to people on here if need be. You can never replace an animal, my current dog is the same breed and colour as the last dog. I brought him because he reminded me of her and quite likely from the same breeder (we found out later that her dogs are seriously inbred and have a lot of behaviourial issues) but since he was at a shelter to be rehomed and not through behaviourial problems I got him. Looking at him now I cant see any resemblance to my old dog and am so glad I brought him even though at the time it felt like it was for the wrong reasons. Luckily even though he is quite neurotic (seems to be a bit of a cocker spaniel trait!) he has no aggression and is my little love bug.
It will get easily slowly, just allow yourself the time to grieve and never let someone make you feel bad because it is 'just an animal'.
Sending hugs from New Zealand.
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post #22 of 31 Old 04-20-2012, 01:45 AM
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Sorry, I meant easier slowly
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post #23 of 31 Old 04-20-2012, 01:58 AM
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I am glad that you found the Horse Forum, I lost my beautiful gelding Hugo earlier this year after a nearly 2 year struggle with soundness problems. The Horse Forum members were brilliant at helping me deal with losing him, Hugo meant the world to me. He may not have been one of the warmbloods, I may not have ever had the chance to compete on him or even train him beyond basics off the track, but he always held an enormously special place in my heart and making the decision to put him to sleep when he still seemed to happy with the hardest thing I have ever done. I took a day off work, and when I went back I thought I was feeling better. But as soon as people started talking about him, I was a sobbing mess again.
It does get easier, some of us have worse luck with horses than others I think! I've certainly had my fair share of injuries, having horses put to sleep etc. and now I have two beautiful young warmbloods that I'm begiging to stay injury free!

~Horse & Hound Artistry~.

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post #24 of 31 Old 04-20-2012, 06:19 AM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Just south of sanity
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Ladyfern, my deepest condolences.

It doesn't really matter how long we have them, as there's never enough time. I lost my best boy after 21 years together. It'll be 5 years in July since he went to the Bridge, and I still miss him every day.

Time DOES help, I promise. You'll never not miss them, but eventually there will be smiles when you recall your friends, and not so much grief.

As for not not wanting to get any more horses because of the pain when we lose them, I do understand that. Had I not already had 2 others, I may have gotten out of horses completely.

We have to remember that everything dies, and when we take on an animal we know that we're most likely going to outlive them. However, that's no reason to deny yourself the pleasure of their company or the love and companionship they give. Don't think of how their passing has caused pain, but how much more enriched your life has been to have known them.

I've said this before and I'll say it again now; the one phrase that applies is this: I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance. Even though the pain of their loss is everything and more than we've imagined, I wouldn't have missed that 21 year dance for anything.
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Last edited by Speed Racer; 04-20-2012 at 06:21 AM.
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post #25 of 31 Old 04-20-2012, 10:24 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia
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Oh dear you all have me crying at work. I knew I shouldn't have read this thread. So sorry for your loss. Come here and talk about it any time you feel like it, sometimes you just need to talk, tell stories etc. We are all here for you. BIG HUGS from me and Hunter.
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post #26 of 31 Old 04-20-2012, 10:39 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Jul 2009
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I am just so very sorry, Ladyfern. I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a great big {hug} right now.
The Horse Forum is a wonderful place to come when you need solace, as I have learned myself in the last couple of weeks. I know that I found being able to get things out of my head to someone who actually "gets it" (ie the good people here) was a huge step in healing. Please know that my inbox, my shoulder and my ear are open to you at any time.
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post #27 of 31 Old 04-20-2012, 03:00 PM
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There are animal people and then there are non animal people. Welcome to the forum where we ALL have something in common. I believe we all have experienced a four legged loss and we truely understand and sympathize. I am so sorry and understand your pain. Don't waste any more time with people who don't understand, you have us :)
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post #28 of 31 Old 04-20-2012, 03:05 PM
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Anytime we humans take on the care of a critter - we know the life expectancy is less than ours. We truly open ourselves up to be hurt.

All we can do is care and love the animal to the best of our abilites and when their time comes, we let them go with love and dignity and never regret a moment we had with them.
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post #29 of 31 Old 04-20-2012, 03:32 PM
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Personally, I think the best part of having a longer life than animals is that there are so many animals we can love in our lifetime. My husband doesn't agree, HA, yet. We are looking for a farm so I can spread more love. :) That is how I cope, knowing that there are so many more animals out there that I know I can give a good home to, dogs, cats and yes, horses!
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post #30 of 31 Old 04-20-2012, 03:36 PM
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The best part of living longer than animals is there are so many different animals we can love in our lifetime. My husband doesn't agree, yet. We are currently looking for a farm so I can spread more love! The way I cope is knowing that when the time is right, there will be another animal for me to take on wether it be a dog, cat, or even another horse. I know that doesn't help right now. Take as much time as needed to grieve, we will be here.
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coping , death , grief

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