Daughters having a hard time riding 4h....
   

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Daughters having a hard time riding 4h....

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  • Horse ride with horse leader 4h structured rides

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    05-08-2013, 12:39 AM
  #1
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Daughters having a hard time riding 4h....

First and foremost, move if needed. I chose to post here hoping maybe some younger and older folks will chime in.

Here's the short story, she's 8 and has been riding rodeos and open shows for 3 years. Broke her first pony and is more or less self/ home taught.

This year is her first year 4h. And well, she just doesn't fit in, or perticulary enjoy riding with the kids she's in the township with.

She's very outgoing and can make friends every and anywhere. The 4h meetings, is a whole nother story. A few girls have talked to her, then she ran today at practice. All the sudden she's friendless. Her and her pony are easily the fastest in our township, and she's new. None of the other kids run rodeo or open so they seem happy where they are. But I feel and see that our daughter isn't having fun. Now take her to a rodeo or open show and she's all smiles and will ride all night.

I'm considering her dropping 4h next year. She will finish what she starts. Rodeos pay more, she likes them better, and are what we know. I hate to say it, but the whole 4h thing seems to rub her wrong just because of the people. I honestly seen a handful of things today, that everyone else seemed to think was ok, that turns me off to it also. Bad mannered horses, lots of em.

She's got plenty of friends, rides well, loves rodeos, gets top grades in school, handles and cares for her horse. Oh and is national champion baton twirler along with a local rodeo money maker.

My real question, I suppose that's the background story, is should we push 4h? I get it, I agree with it, but is it productive In this case?
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    05-08-2013, 12:46 AM
  #2
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If she's not having fun, she won't get anything out of it, except the impression that 4Hers are devious little toad suckers.

It sounds like it is not the best fit for her. The only thing I can suggest is talking to the Horse Project leader. Maybe they can have a clinic day, where each kid can kind of show the others how to do something they're good at.

Joining a group is hard for a lot of people, especially if they've been a group for a long time. Your daughter looks like she has so much fun when she rides, I would hate to see her lose that.
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    05-08-2013, 01:14 AM
  #3
Started
Quote:
Originally Posted by aforred    
If she's not having fun, she won't get anything out of it, except the impression that 4Hers are devious little toad suckers.

It sounds like it is not the best fit for her. The only thing I can suggest is talking to the Horse Project leader. Maybe they can have a clinic day, where each kid can kind of show the others how to do something they're good at.

Joining a group is hard for a lot of people, especially if they've been a group for a long time. Your daughter looks like she has so much fun when she rides, I would hate to see her lose that.
I agree with you totally! And the whole reason I asked for outside opinions. I honestly felt bad for her today. She just wasn't enjoying it.

I honestly like the gal that does the contesting leader role. And today her jaw dropped when our daughter let her real self show. She let her pony go.
She's so polite, she'll always go last, then nobody will talk to her. :/.
She's not a jealous kid, works for what she has, and it seems like she's eating herself to not sound like me outloud. And she just doesn't enjoy it.

And yes, she's already made 4h'r comments.

But she will do this year, like it or not. Well unless she gets kicked out because they have rules and all that.
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    05-08-2013, 01:16 AM
  #4
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I wouldn't push 4H. I like 4H, have been involved with it in the past, but if it's not a good fit for your daughter? Why bother. She has other options.
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    05-08-2013, 01:21 AM
  #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boots    
I wouldn't push 4H. I like 4H, have been involved with it in the past, but if it's not a good fit for your daughter? Why bother. She has other options.
Thank you. I really hoped it'd be what it's intended for.....
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    05-08-2013, 01:27 AM
  #6
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Don't completely discard 4H as a whole. There are other things to pursue in 4H that are really and truly worth it. My shooting sports group was one of the best groups I have EVER been apart of.

The 4H horse group was easily one of the WORST! I hated every second of it. I wasn't a part of the group, and they made sure I knew it. I got them back at the big show one year. I fed my horse at the literal CRACK of dawn. I shook that grain can and woke the whole fairgrounds with whinnies. Hehehe.

Ditch the horse group and definitely look to see if there are other activities she might be interested in. It is definitely a good organization as a whole. It is just that some of the groups are worthless.
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    05-08-2013, 01:36 AM
  #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyDreamer    
Don't completely discard 4H as a whole. There are other things to pursue in 4H that are really and truly worth it. My shooting sports group was one of the best groups I have EVER been apart of.

The 4H horse group was easily one of the WORST! I hated every second of it. I wasn't a part of the group, and they made sure I knew it. I got them back at the big show one year. I fed my horse at the literal CRACK of dawn. I shook that grain can and woke the whole fairgrounds with whinnies. Hehehe.

Ditch the horse group and definitely look to see if there are other activities she might be interested in. It is definitely a good organization as a whole. It is just that some of the groups are worthless.
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She already raised meat rabbits, has a freakish shyness to chickens, the option is there to show a calf next year. I can see her sticking with 4h if she finds the right kids. But the horse crowd doesn't seem to settle well. Maybe livestock would be better. And keep riding to shows.
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Added, she won high point last year at the township show before she was old enough to be In 4h.
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    05-08-2013, 02:29 AM
  #8
Trained
Sounds like she's got it goin on! Kudos to you awesome parents!

Little girls are EVIL... My daughter is somewhat in the same boat with school, the other girls are clickish, mean, manipulating little devils. This is in a school with only 50 kids. DD has to hang out with the boys or lower herself down to fit in.

Maybe the girls are just tight knit, been together forever BFF's and are intimidated by your girl? I agree with Aforred, talk with the leader, or maybe you guys need to plan a sleepover or party and do a getting to know you session. Nothing brings girls together faster than bunch of sugar/pizza, nail polish, horse crafts, and sleep deprivation. Have your kid think up some questions to ask or compliments for the girls the next time she sees them. Might help?

4H seems great, but for what we have available I'm not so hot on it. Plus our local kids are backwoods, you ain't born here you ain't never going to belong here types... I wish we had a decent local equine program because DD would be the first in line. But, if I were in your shoes and all doesn't settle down after this year I'd pull her. Is there another chapter close to you guys?
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    05-08-2013, 06:52 AM
  #9
Green Broke
I think I'd wait till next year and ask her if she wants to be in 4-H.
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    05-08-2013, 07:05 AM
  #10
Started
I know some love 4h but I am not a fan. Horse 4h sort of fell into pony club which was to say a bunch of kids who I just did not click with. I tried both for a year (different years) and the attitudes that were present did not impress me. If your daughter has other social activities and friends (ie rodeo and school), than don't force 4h.
     

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