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Daughters having a hard time riding 4h....

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        05-08-2013, 04:41 PM
      #21
    Yearling
    Growing up I did sheep and goat 4-H and had a blast and learned a lot. This year my friends mom urged me to join back up for my final eligable year, and I attended one meeting. I couldn't get out of that place fast enough. People were complaining that they took pleasure out of the class list, which is something I agree with for 4-H shows so the expensive show horses don't always win and the classes are actually on the exhibitor not the horse. I felt awkward and out of place because everyone had much nicer and expensive horses than I do. I didn't have much extra money to be spending on all the shirts and jackets and what not, as I have to support my horse habit by myself. I loved 4-H for other animals and was very successful as a kid, but I don't know if my age or the horse part drove me off like it did.
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        05-08-2013, 07:52 PM
      #22
    Trained
    I have heard several folks who didn't like 4-h, and to me it came down to the leader.....I personally like the concept of Pony Club better, but that is another issue.

    My daughter showed 4-h without ever going to a meeting. She was happier that way. We paid the token fee and did the shows, and she did not have to deal with the clique kids, just mom. Lol
         
        05-08-2013, 09:18 PM
      #23
    Started
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MHFoundation Quarters    
    Couple ideas and some random thoughts. I've been involved with 4H, well, forever (my mom works for Purdue's extension service), I also judge quite a few fair shows. I would encourage her to stick with it (some sort of project anyway) because there are tons of scholarships up for grabs through the 4-H foundation and being a 10 year member (particularly if she gets involved in junior leaders) looks good on college entrance apps. 4H scholarships alone paid for my first year of college.

    Not every club is created equal, not even close. I've judged at some fairs that I left shaking my head, they were the kind where "Well, we have some room in the backyard, let's just get a horse at auction and throw our kid on it in a pen with other people's children" then there are others (like my home county) that there are kids riding Congress level horses, A circuit hunter/jumpers & 1D speed horses.

    In our state, you don't have to be in 4H in the township, or even county that you reside in. If I were in a county with a club like you've mentioned, I would have my kiddo showing in another. Mine is a mini this year so no 4H horse & pony for another year but if we didn't have a great club here, I know where she would be showing instead. There are a few clubs that take showing seriously and it's not a goof off joke...sadly though they are the rarity more so than the norm.
    Thank you, and I like the idea of 4h, and totally see how I could benifit a lot of people. We actually didn't want her to be in st. Joe county, but that's the only fair that worked with her national baton competition. I really would like her to get her 10 yrs.
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        05-08-2013, 09:21 PM
      #24
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Phly    
    Thank you, and I like the idea of 4h, and totally see how I could benifit a lot of people. We actually didn't want her to be in st. Joe county, but that's the only fair that worked with her national baton competition. I really would like her to get her 10 yrs.
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    But what does SHE want?
         
        05-08-2013, 09:35 PM
      #25
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Phly    
    Thank you, and I like the idea of 4h, and totally see how I could benifit a lot of people. We actually didn't want her to be in st. Joe county, but that's the only fair that worked with her national baton competition. I really would like her to get her 10 yrs.
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    You're welcome! That stinks it was the only one that worked with the schedule but do tell her good luck at her baton comp! Do they offer a horseless option? I know several counties will let them do a poster project so they can still get horse & pony club completion if they can't or decide not to show. Still have to get in the required meetings and do the workbook & such but could be a way to get out of having to ride with them.
         
        05-08-2013, 09:38 PM
      #26
    Started
    Ok, I was going to go through and reply to everyone. Instead of typing all night, I asked her flat out.

    She said she doesn't enjoy it. Said its not FUN at all. The people/ the horses the whole shabang. Said flat out she'd rather rodeo an open show. Well, it sounds like well finish this season and see how she feels about it, though I gotsa feelin....

    Worst case we'll see if cows or something will keep her in 4h. If not, she'll be free to be done with it. Thank you all for your input. Seriously, I do appreciate it.
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        05-09-2013, 06:02 AM
      #27
    Trained
    Guess I really don't understand why she has to continue at all? I am not sure she wanted to start it-I get the feeling you did, so why not let her quit? I have seen too many kids totally turned off on stuff by being pushed into it. There are too many other choices to make them do something they don't like, unless of course it is something necessary for their own good, which this isn't. I have lots of horse friends whose kids now want nothing to do with them. Just my .02. My kids are grown, so I HAVE been there, btw.
         
        05-09-2013, 07:27 AM
      #28
    Weanling
    I guess 4h is different from region to region. My daughter is registered with 3 different clubs. Her primary club is a horse project club. We attended meetings for a while, but it became obvious that we were not welcome. They weren't rude, but they weren't friendly either. My daughter was basically ignored. Add the fact that they were hyper focused on horse bowl (trivia) and drill team (no interest) and there were no real horse activities for my daughter. The horse judging 4h was ok, but the practices were often hundreds of miles away and require a time commitment we couldn't give. The third club is through her school and didn't offer any horse related activities.

    So, while we keep her membership active (so we can attend 4h horse shows and eventually go to district and state shows), we no longer activly participate. I refuse to force Kitten to attend meetings and activities that offer her zero benefit. I really don't see a problem with quitting mid-year if her departure will not affect anyone else (like in team sports).
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        05-10-2013, 01:58 AM
      #29
    Started
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by franknbeans    
    Guess I really don't understand why she has to continue at all? I am not sure she wanted to start it-I get the feeling you did, so why not let her quit? I have seen too many kids totally turned off on stuff by being pushed into it. There are too many other choices to make them do something they don't like, unless of course it is something necessary for their own good, which this isn't. I have lots of horse friends whose kids now want nothing to do with them. Just my .02. My kids are grown, so I HAVE been there, btw.
    She's been looking forward to being in 4h since she went to her first fair. I actually warned her that it wasn't the same crowd. I thank you for your input as well.
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        05-10-2013, 02:04 AM
      #30
    Started
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by HorseMom1025    
    I guess 4h is different from region to region. My daughter is registered with 3 different clubs. Her primary club is a horse project club. We attended meetings for a while, but it became obvious that we were not welcome. They weren't rude, but they weren't friendly either. My daughter was basically ignored. Add the fact that they were hyper focused on horse bowl (trivia) and drill team (no interest) and there were no real horse activities for my daughter. The horse judging 4h was ok, but the practices were often hundreds of miles away and require a time commitment we couldn't give. The third club is through her school and didn't offer any horse related activities.

    So, while we keep her membership active (so we can attend 4h horse shows and eventually go to district and state shows), we no longer activly participate. I refuse to force Kitten to attend meetings and activities that offer her zero benefit. I really don't see a problem with quitting mid-year if her departure will not affect anyone else (like in team sports).
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    She will follow through with her commitment to run fair this year, at least. If she starts a project, she will follow through.

    I sound like a total penis there^^^

    She knows it, knew coming in. She's never quit anything and won't start now. She has decided she won't do em again, and that's fine. But if she starts, she finishes.

    I thank you as we'll for your input.
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