Dealing with loss for the first time. - Page 3

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Dealing with loss for the first time.

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    11-15-2011, 01:22 AM
That is a lovely poem, it made me tear up also! Thank you for sharing it, I think I will save it I like it so much.
When D passed away, we had to hire a man to come bury him, and within the next day or two, we had recieved a symathy card from him; it had a beautiful picture of a pinto horse on the front, and said "Not gone, just patiently waiting at the end of the trail," It of course made me sob, but it was a comforting thought. It was also so thoughtful of the man, I didn't even know him, and he didn't have to take the time to do that.
I really appreciate everyone sharing their stories; it helps to have the understanding of losing a horse, but I think what helps me the most is the stories of finally getting to the point that remembering them doesn't hurt and brings smiles.
Thank you, to all of you. I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
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    11-15-2011, 01:34 AM
Wow. Its so weird how when I commented on this thread originally, I was only trying to offer some inspiration and positive thoughts. Now when I read it, I am crying, mourning my first horse loss. Today my baby died. Everything everyone has said is very heartfelt. And the poem from SR- oh boy! It's perfect. It'll be written on Rain's memorial for sure.

Hugs to you. I know how you feel and I am truly sorry. My deepest sympathies.
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    11-15-2011, 03:26 AM
I know how you feel, I went through the same thing, it's hard to get over, and every time I think of her I wish she was here. But all I know is she had a good happy life, and in her short 10 or so years, she lived so much.

Everything happens for a reason. We eventually bought another horse, Flicka, she's a handful, but so thank full that she's in our life.

When you/if you buy another horse as i'm sure everyone else said, you'll love her/him as well, never forgetting D, but not holding him back. Sometimes you have to learn to let go.

I'm sorry for you're loss, hope you're handling it okay.
    11-16-2011, 10:42 PM
Green Broke
I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Old memories are often the best memories.

That poem is thought to be the words of Soloman found in the old testament book of Ecclesiastes. Soloman is thought to be the wisest man that ever lived.

Thank god for the gifts he gives us.

I'm not a real smart guy, but I believe there is a heaven.

I can't imagine it without the things we love, and realize that life is only temporary.

As man was molded from the dust of the ground we are forever bound to our worldly ways. Yet, all things of the world do not last. They can't. Even the tallest mountain will eventually be but a grain of sand.

Not just horses, but money comes and goes, people come and go. You're up one minute and down the next. Such are the ways of the world.

Live in the spirit as best you can, and put little faith in things of this world.

Your love will find a way to provide the comfort you seek.

Hang in there.
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    11-16-2011, 11:03 PM
SarahAnn, I am so, so sorry. Knowing that you are going through exactly what I am makes me terribly sad; I wouldn't wish this heartache on my worst enemy and I especially wouldn't want someone who is so kind to experience it.

Hang in there, hon.
    11-16-2011, 11:19 PM
Originally Posted by MandiMal    
SarahAnn, I am so, so sorry. Knowing that you are going through exactly what I am makes me terribly sad; I wouldn't wish this heartache on my worst enemy and I especially wouldn't want someone who is so kind to experience it.

Hang in there, hon.
Thank you, and right back at you. The best part of this situation (I tend to try and find something good in every situation) is the remarkable sense of community among horse people. I had people dropping what they were doing, calling out of work, etc just to come out and be there for me and my girl. Where I live we have coyotes pretty bad, so we needed to have someone bury her the night she died. It was incredible how quickly the neighbor volunteered to go get his back hoe (3 towns away at his job site) and come help us with her burial. For free.

So while being overwhelmed with sadness and guilt and frustration and confusion I am also overwhelmed by the way my community made me feel loved and important. Made me feel like my girl's life wasn't just something that was important to me, but it was important to everyone. That is amazing.
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    11-17-2011, 05:02 AM
I am so very sorry for your loss. It is an awful experience when we lose something we love so much. I consider myself fortunate that I have only had to go through it once.
It was many years ago on christmas eve. The girls in my family made it a somewhat tradition to go on a christmas eve ride every year. Well that year it was my sister, her friend and me. Me being the youngest mom didnt want me going out with the girls. Figured we'd play too hard I guess. So my I told my mom she could take my boy. To get access to more logging roads there is a stretch of gravel road we have to take for about a half mile. On that section there was a truck who was speeding and swerving. He didnt see them until it was too late. My sister and her friend got out of the way but Flash wasnt so lucky. As the truck skidded and hit him he reared up and saved my moms life. If he hadnt I would have lost both of them that day. The truck flipped one and a half times into the ditch. He had to be put down and I wasnt allowed to see him before. Being that it was christmas eve we had no way to take care of his body, but one amazing man helped with his tractor to load him into the trailer so we could at least take him home.
That day Flash was a guardian angel and he saved my moms life. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through and I still cry before every christmas. I will never forget him, but it eventually got easier. It was actually the other horses who helped me through it. Loving and caring for them was the thing I needed to get out there and walk past his empty stall.
Horses can be better friends than people sometimes and thier loss hurts unimaginably. But time will make it better. My deepest sympathys
    11-17-2011, 06:21 AM
I've been there too. My mare was 33 & she told me 2 days before she died that she was going. She was healthy. I wailed like a wounded beast for those 2 days, my family thought I was insane for crying over something that a horse 'told' me.
Sure enough I lost her, her foreleg snapped when she was getting up. I saw it & heard it. I was not surprised. You know how when you injure something & tell yourself "That's going to hurt later"? My girl was eased from this world before that stage.

I found myself suddenly bursting into tears at the weirdest times- pumping gas, shopping, doing laundry etc. Though those things are reason in themselves for crying it didn't make sense. I now realize or maybe I just like to believe, that when I think of her out of the blue it is really her checking in to say HI. I can now give a sad smile & say HI back.

She is always with me & I am confident that we will someday be together again for there surely cannot be a Heaven without horses.
    11-17-2011, 07:48 PM
Endurance Chica, that is such a sad story, I can't imagine how hard it was so go through someting like that. I am glad to hear your mother was ok; it's amazing what your boy did to save her. He was obviously very special.

Natisha, I find myself thinking of D at random times, as well. I really like what you said about those being the times they are checking on us. I think you are right :)

Thanks for sharing, everyone.

buying a new horse, death, first loss, guilt

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