Did I do the right thing?
 
 

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Did I do the right thing?

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  • Calming a horse did i do the right thing

 
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    07-06-2010, 01:57 AM
  #1
Yearling
Angry Did I do the right thing?

Okay, I really want you guys' oppinions on this matter. My ottb is 34 years old, so 70 something in horse years, was raced as a youngster, and my familly still thinks it is okay to ride him. So, a couple months back, my little sister was wanting to ride him when we went down to see my grandmother that day and I told her no, he's retired. My dads just like, oh he'll be fine, and we proceed to go down for a visit. When we get there, though I already had plans to give him a nice groom/massage, my brother goes and gets him out of the pasture. Now, understand, its not like my sister even likes riding, she thinks she does but as soon as she gets on(if she gets on) she screams and cries to get off-every single time. So now, though I am a little ticked that my fragile and at this time underweight, 34 yr old horse is being ridden by some 70+ lb kid who is just going to scream when she gets on, I am just like, you know lets just get this over with. But no, she decides that she can't ride without a bridle, so I tell her she will be fine while I am trying to get his leadrope attached to both sides. My brother is intolerant of this and pushes me off to get that cold peice of medal jammed in the poor horses mouth. While I was still calm before, now I am getting a little worked up. I insist that having the leadrope attached like riens is just like having a bridle without the discomfort on the horse. This is a calm horse too, like 2 on a scale of 1-10, so he doesn't need a bit when being led around. So then my dad comes out and starts yelling that I need to go inside(I am crying now, party because I am in pain by being ripped off the horse by my brother, partly because I feel my horse is being put through unnesesary trauma, and partly just because I am an emotional person). So now my brother is trying to pry my hands off the old boys halter, my little sister is standing there stamping her foot and scolding me, and my dad is yelling at me that the horse is fine and to go inside. Finally I run off to the house to plead with my mom and all she does is tell me to get a grip. I was seriously hyperventillating now, noone in my familly listens to me even though I Know sooooo much more about horses then all of them combined! I have spent ATLEAST 2 hours a week(nomally, atleast 2 hourse a day) for the last 2 years on here reading(and that doesn't include the horse magazines/encyclopedias/ect.) and they all thought he was dying because he was lifting up his upper lip. So I was tolerant of him being sat on for 5 seconds till somebody took her off his back, but then they tried to take him away and go further than that. Was I right for having a problem with that? Or was I just over reacting and being stupid and teenageryish and need to get a grip(wow that was allot of ands :p). Oh, and by the way, I recently found out that my brother was planing on buying me a horse until that happend. He claims I was being selfish, which I wasnt, I was just speaking up for something I care about. So, I have pretty much lost all chance of even going to the maclay, much less competing in it
Tcg

Sorry that was soooo long :/ cookies if you read it all!
     
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    07-06-2010, 02:07 AM
  #2
Green Broke
I think it would be fine for someone to get on and just ride around for a bit.
But like you said if he wasn't in the best shape probably not. The bit shouldn't matter much as he did rce and knows what it is.
I probably would of had a problem if he was underweight like you said.
Lol not much help but I think you were right defending the horse but probably didn't do it the best... if that makes sense
     
    07-06-2010, 02:08 AM
  #3
Yearling
Yeah that makes since :). And your right, I problably didn't do the best job there. I am one of those people who like to have control of the situaltion when they feel they should, I mean, I'm not like a control feak or anything but when I feel I know what is best and it is something of mine, I want to be in control of what happens to it. And he is my horse(no I don't pay for him, my grandmother does but he is my horse there) and I just got reall freaked out when people were doing stuff to him I felt were unnesesary and I had no say. Ugh! Its just so frusterating. But I remained calm until my bro started pushing me off and trying to take control just cause he is bigger and older. And yeah he really was under weight, you could see his ribs and spine(he is a really hard keeper, it was the end of winter, and he was a tb. We do our best, belive me). He is better now though :)
Oh and he's not the only full sized horse eighter, we have a qpX
     
    07-06-2010, 10:40 AM
  #4
Green Broke
I understand where you are coming from. I am also in the same boat that noone listens to me even though I am honestly the only "rider" in the family.
I understand that you didn't want anyone to ride because of his weight and everything, totally understandable.
Could you talk to your brother about still getting you a horse? Just tell him where you were coming from.
     
    07-06-2010, 12:45 PM
  #5
Green Broke
Perhaps you "over reacted" a little. Its okay, most people do it sometimes. If its your horse then they shouldn't have anything to do with it if you say no - but if your grandmother is paying for it and possibly being the primary carer for it then for the intents and purposes of this I guess it may as well be hers. I'm not saying that this is the same for all circumstances, but it is a little rich saying its your horse if you don't pay and care for it.

Your brother did not handle it well and that would be what I personally would have been most angry about it. If your family saw that something was upsetting you to the point of tears they should have stopped, maybe discussed it later on. In future instead of just saying "no" and insisting on things, divert the attention. You mentioned there was another horse so instead of saying no you could just say "Wouldn't it be great if were rode "other horse", hey, you guys should go have some tea inside and I'll get him tacked up for you!" or something like that.

Or about the bridle instead of just saying no say "Well the headstalls already on, why don't you sit on him now and if you feel uncomfortable I grab the bridle for you". I don't know what your family is like, but if you know they are set on something then sometimes there isn't much you can do. By over reacting often people will not take your opinion into account when it really matters. Sure, they did something that you didn't want them to do, but you don't need to get hysterical about it.

I don't know the horse but I doubt this would cause "trauma", although you and your family yelling, arguing and crying might. It might not be best for him to be ridden but I wouldn't think it would do any serious damage if a kid was just walking on him.

As for your brother buying you a horse - in all honesty your brother does not sound nice. If he bought you a horse he could lord it over you forever, and could probably take it away or use it as he thought fit. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't accept a horse in that position. I'd rather save up for a bit and buy my own - takes more time but in the long run there are less complications.

Cheer up and smile :) Its over now, what's done is done. Instead of going over what happened work out some strategies for the next time something like this might happen. There are always more ways to get a horse, just because your brother doesn't buy you one now doesn't mean you can't find another way to get one. It will be alright.
     

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