I hear you. I have not lost a horse, while I still owned it, but 2.5 years ago, I lost my dog. I was a wreck.
I can remember someone telling me that 'I was taking this hard'. Yes (curse words) my world felt like it was ending.
Others said 'sorry', well how do you respond to that when you are sorry to. It sure as heck isn't my job to reassure them, that's reversed.
I was angry at those people, as there's so much anger, and we need to place it somewhere.
Oddly, I didn't want another dog, but my old girl fell apart and wouldn't leave my feet. She's always with me, but not against my skin that way. So two months later, I got Wink, a one eyed dog. I wasn't ready for him, but my old girl needed someone. And you know, he helps. I never would have thought he would, but he does.
He does things, like the dog I lost. I don't have a fenced in yard, but my Oscar used to just lay down when the sun was out, and you couldn't move him even on a leash without really pulling. Wink does that too. How would he know that? Maybe I am nuts, it's just odd. He also eats the little piles I create from sweeping. Oscar did that too.
I still miss the hell out of Oscar, but Wink has created his own area in my heart, and it helps, a lot. No dog in the world will replace Oscar, and I would give anything for another day with him, but Wink has helped.
I think when people say things, they mean well, they just don't say it well.
Hugs and love for your loss. And this poem helped me.
"If Tears Could Build A Stairway"
If tears could build a stairway,
and memories a lane.
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you back again.
No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say "Goodbye".
You were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.
My heart still aches with sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to love you -
No one can ever know.
But now I know you want me
to mourn for you no more;
To remember all the happy times
life still has much in store.
Since you'll never be forgotten,
I pledge to you today~
A hollowed place within my heart
is where you'll always stay.