Dissapointed :( - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 10 Old 02-25-2009, 04:17 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New Zealand
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Dissapointed :(

I didn't really know where to put this.
Don't even know the point of the post but yeah..
How do you guys deal with dissapointment? I'm really dissapointed cause I got into the district dressage team after allot of hard work and training, lots of lessons and stuff, I have worked soo hard and I actually made it into the team.. now my dad cant (read: wont) come and watch me at district dressage. Pony Club is only 5mins max from his house and even him just coming to watch one of my tests ould be awesome but he wont make the time Dad doesnt live with mum (separated before I was born) so its not like I see him everyday anyway or anything. the only time he ever comes to watch me ride is if he is taking chance to a comp and even then he just sits in the car and reads the newspaper, but I thought it might be differnt this time seeming its only a few minutes and its a district event ..
Sorry guess I just needed to vent..
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post #2 of 10 Old 02-25-2009, 09:25 AM
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Long Island, NY
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Congrats on making the team!

I'm sure it is quite disappointing that someone you care about doesn't share the same interest you are so obviously passionate about. Have you explained to him how important it is to you? He may think you are just trying to make him feel included and doesn't understand you sincerely want him there.

If he still resists going I understand you will be hurt. But just focus on why you do dressage. For yourself. It should be about doing what makes you happy and about the rapport you have with your horse. Only you know the amount of dedication you have give. Take pride in that, and don't stress yourself out about a spectator.
wanderlust is offline  
post #3 of 10 Old 02-25-2009, 10:23 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Maine
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Congrats on making the team, what an accomplishment!

I agree with wanderlust about talking with your Dad about how you feel. Sometimes we parents don't realize how our non-participation can effect our children.

If nothing changes however, understand that is his loss of an opportunity to share in something very special in your life.

We are formed not only by our successes in life but also in how we deal with disappointments in life. After acknowledging my disappointment, I used it to make me even more determined to succeed for myself, not to "prove" anything to anyone else. Some things are out of our control, and we have to accept that and move on.

Good luck to you! Enjoy your success, you've worked very hard to achieve it.
Walkamile is offline  
post #4 of 10 Old 02-25-2009, 10:52 AM
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Congrats on the making the team! That's fantastic!! Whoo Hooo for you!

I think Walkamile hit the nail on the head. Sometimes parents can just be dense. (as a parent that always kicks my butt when I have to confess that)

Talk to your dad and if he just doesn't get it than so be it. Keep competing and doing the things that make your heart sing!!!!

Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged by the size of the task, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.

1 Chronicles 28:20

Dumas'_Grrrl is offline  
post #5 of 10 Old 02-25-2009, 11:47 AM
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Location: Montana
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Just don't forget how proud you should be of yourself!!! That took a lot of hard work and self discipline to achieve what you have. Not sure if this fits your situation, but it seems some dads are very proud of their kids but will never show or express that to their children. Congratulations on making the team!
Juniper is offline  
post #6 of 10 Old 02-25-2009, 01:26 PM
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Edmonton, AB
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Good job for making the team!

i came from a family were my parents divorced when i was around 2. My mom is a horse trainer...my dad a truck driver who basicly just supported my mothers horses(paid for them) but thats all he ever really did. So when they seperated and i began to really excell with horses it was a little difficult. My father has been married 4 times since then....i never really said any thign to him that it bugged me when he woudlnt come watch me at my cuttings and high school rodeo...but most of the time i was to busy to even realize he wasnt there. When i was old enough to kind stand up to him...i finally said some thing. After that i think he viewed me differently...more as a person and not just as some kid that came over every second weekend and every wednesday. So that turned out good...

Then....my dad also races and builts custom snowmobiles. So when i started high climbing and racing pro...my mom because more distant...it just became another issue...so eventually i just ended up quiting the racing. It became to expensive...and dangerous needless to say...

Sorry....back to your story. Just talk to your dad. If he hears the words coming out of your mouth that you want him there...then i think he would show.

good luck!
NicoleS11 is offline  
post #7 of 10 Old 02-25-2009, 06:07 PM
Join Date: Feb 2009
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Firstly Good on you for putting all your hard work in and making the team, that is a big achievement and you should be VERY PROUD! well done!

Now having been in similar situation myself with my own father, my dad has never really cared about me he has come to some comps and he did the exact same thing, to top it off when I moved out of home my dad started a photography buissness he was asked to photograph competitors in a 75cm jumping class, I competetd on my favourite little 4yo gelding my dad took photos of everyone else in the class except me his own flesh and blood.

He has been to some things equestrian and he does the same sits in the car or does not pay attention to me. I got very depressed about it. I joined a local SJ club which I do freshman's at, I started to talk to a few competitor's and quite a few live in the local area! and alot of them go to the same shows! I started to make some great friendships with in the club and now when I go to my shows I mett up with them I am invited to there trucks I have even been offered spots on trucks for myself and my horses! I have a lot of support offered and they are a great pick me up after a bad round! After meeting these lovely people I have never felt as disapointed about my dad not being there! and as they remind me it is not about him it is about you, it's your life and you live and compete in what you want to do!

Sorry if I turned it into a topic about me but just go out there and introduce yourself, you should click easily with people as you have the same interest and you can also tape or send pictures to your dad of yourself riding! Just go out and be the best you can be, it is all about you!
fireinthedisco is offline  
post #8 of 10 Old 02-25-2009, 10:40 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New Zealand
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Thanks everyone :)
sounds horrible but its good to know im not the only one whos been in the same boat... All the other childrens parents(both) at pony club are always at there shows and its like arghh..
Ill just go an try not to come dead last haha.
ShowJumpLife is offline  
post #9 of 10 Old 02-26-2009, 03:51 AM
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: south australia
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My parents hate horses and have nothing to do with my horse riding or pc.
Nor does my partner,and we only live a few houses from the pc.
It was lonely and sad at first but now i dont care.Last pc rally was sj day,i didnt compete that day,just watched.And everyone has theyre familys and partners there,so i know how that feels.
Why dont you let him know how you feel and how much it would mean to you having him involved?
peanut is offline  
post #10 of 10 Old 02-26-2009, 03:38 PM
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Minnesota, USA
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My dad growing up was not too into shows... but you just need to honestly tell him how you feel (like many suggested already).

If you do get him to come maybe introduce him to other parents and make him feel "involved"... does your mom by chance go the shows? It sounds like they arent together anymore... could that be the issue??? (not sure but my parents go through the awkward stuff)

Regardless just keep your chin high and kick butt!!!!

It's not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.
- Paul "Bear" Bryant (Former college football coach)
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