OP - when you leased this horse, what type of experience did you give yourself? Did you say you were a newbie with a lot to learn? If so, she may be trying to sincerely help you and spare the horse.
Did you overstate your experience and skills? If she is experienced, she may be calling you out by stepping in.
I have been honest about my background. I am *ahem*
"mature", and my purpose in leasing different horses these past couple of years is to get back into riding now that my children are older. Still don't have the means to own a horse of my own right now (maybe when my kids are out of the house!) My riding goals are pretty modest - just trying to re-hone my skills that have undoubtedly gotten a bit rusty over the years.
The owner is a college student who is currently busy with classes, a job, boyfriend, social life, etc.
You didn't identify how much you are paying to lease, what the terms of the lease are, or if there are any stipulations regarding what you can or can not do on the horse. Also, what did she do with the horse? Was it strictly for hacking around the pasture or did she event/compete?
This is a "free" lease, because at this time the owner is undecided as to whether she wants to sell outright - so she doesn't want to make a firm commitment to anything at this time. (This is fine with me...BTW)
I'm not exactly sure what she used to do with the horse - I know she did some show jumping, but I'm not sure how serious this was or the level of competition.
The owner has specified that I am 'allowed' to jump, but I want to work on more basic things first: smooth transitions, proper form, that sort of thing.
PS - Also, I can't tell. Is the horse on her property or at a barn where both of you must travel to see the horse?
This information may help us understand her actions better.
The owner lives much closer to the barn than I. For her, it's a quick trip - for me, it's a bit of a haul...
And I am sure that even though I am older, she is a better rider...so getting a few tips would be fine with me.
What isn't fine are the number of mixed messages I've been getting: She talks about selling - then says she'll never part with the horses. She tells me she has no time - but then seems to want to hang around. She talks about how important it is to take good care of one's things - but her own equipment is in terrible shape.
And when she has offered to jump up and ride - it has never been a time when I was already on the horse and might have needed some help or correction. It will be when I first arrive - and then it is "Oh hey, let me show you how she jumps!"
Or showing up while I am in the middle of ground work and then saying "Oh, since you're not riding today, I can show you some of the things I do!"
I have also found an issue that I fundamentally disagree with -
There are several paddocks in which to ride....and these same paddocks are grazed by the other horses on the property. Each time I go out to ride, I make sure to choose an empty paddock so that I can ride alone - away from the other horses. The owner is more worried about her horse being herd-bound and distressed from being separated than in creating a safe area in which to ride. She said that once I start riding, the other horses will leave me alone and not bother me. For my part - I have not noticed the horse behaving in a "herd-bound and distressed" way....and feel it's safer to ride away from the rest of the herd.
I guess I am starting to feel uncomfortable with the situation...
But probably best to try and have a conversation about everything first.