Do you have support for your horse passion? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 33 Old 07-11-2011, 04:02 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Waxhaw, NC
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Do you have support for your horse passion?

I have ridden horses all my life, with a break here and there. I finally came to own my first February 2010. My fiance supported the decision as long as it was thought out and financially doable.

I boarded for a while until we moved out of state where my horse was on property. I had sole responsibility of caring for mine/neighbors horses. Come last winter, my hubby began helping me because it was dark so early. He would come out and take the horses into the barn with me. He even surprised me on a few occasions by having all the chores done before I got home from work.

I would catch him talking with the horses, petting them. Even going as far as saying "They're not so bad." Mind you, this is the same guy who got kicked in the face by a horse when he was a young adult.

So I ASSUMED (i know- stupid me) that they were growing on him. Months passed and it was lighter longer. I even asked on an occasion or two (if i wasnt feel well) if he would take care of the horses, but as soon as those eyes rolled, off I went to avoid a fight that didnt make much difference to me.

Well I finally got my new horse yesterday. I asked if he could tell I was excited, lol. He gave me a blanket statement "uh huh". I asked if he wanted to see him when he got here, he said no. He doesnt really care. He said he just realizes they stink, they bring flies, theyre alot of work, and did he mention they smell? LOL, i love how horses smell.

So, who is your support? My support, is my mentor. Someone i made friends with by leasing her horse, and have learned MANY MANY things from. My family and friends are slow to come around, but they know i am a happier person with horses in my life. But when everyone else said "dont buy a 2nd horse, this girl was like 'want me to come up and help you look?!" Cant beat support like that!

Anywho, anyone have any stories of their significant other eventually coming around? If not, whose your support?
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post #2 of 33 Old 07-11-2011, 04:15 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Nobody, from my family on down to all my SOs, has ever shown any enthusiasm for my horse obsession. I learned that it's okay for them not to care, as long as they don't actively try and stop me.

I have plenty of 'horsey' friends, and it's my retreat from the regular, everyday world.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #3 of 33 Old 07-11-2011, 04:24 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Waxhaw, NC
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I think that is the difference. I am in a new place, and I have 1 riding buddy, and our schedules never seem to match up. I don't think I need anybody's ok for me to do this, i enjoy it and know I am a better person for owning horses- it frees me. Nobody actively tries to stop me, so I agree with you. It's just very refreshing to get that "Oh your looking for a new horse?! How fun, can i help?!" enthusiasm from someone. I guess i'll just have to wait til my friend comes up this fall to ride with someone.
And let me make this clear, i am by no means bashing my fiance. He is a good, hardworking man. He is not lazy or careless, so I am not trying to sound like a winey bitchy wife. Just would liek that extra inch of support, and i thought i was soo close.
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post #4 of 33 Old 07-11-2011, 04:31 PM
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That's why we "escape to the barn" We can be around other people who understand our passion and no matter what, you're always in a good mood when you're at the barn and when you just leave.

I'm lucky. My boyfriend (of 5 years) cant get WHY i love horses as much as i do and that all i need is my job and my horse...and dogs. Or why i'd rather get up REALLY early to ride on a saturday morning then to go out for a few drinks with some friends on friday night. But he does understand that I need it and is supportive. He knows that I will NEVER sell my horse and that he should never make me chose between the horse and him, he'll lose and he knows it ( I remind him every so often). He tells me to leave the house and go see my horse when i'm in a bad mood. And he knows if we go on vacation, we're going to end up riding somewhere. And more importantly if something were to ever happen to me, medically or financially, he would step up and make sure my board was paid. I would consider my self lucky even though he would never ask to ride my horse or volunteer to go riding with me. I like that it is my time away from him...
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post #5 of 33 Old 07-11-2011, 05:00 PM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: MD
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Weirdly enough almost everyone I close to are not interested in horses. My parents are extremely supportive (always been, even though they are not horse people), as for others... Well... I don't know... I guess from "don't care" to "you are not very smart to be so much into horses".

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass: it's about learning to dance in the rain..."

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
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post #6 of 33 Old 07-11-2011, 05:35 PM
Join Date: Mar 2010
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My family are quite supportive of me when it comes to me and my horse despite them being non horsey.
My mother and boyfriend are interested to the stage where they are willing to try learn a few things even though both have admitted that they find horses quite intimidating. My sister used to ride when she was about 10 then she started getting interested in boys and make-up and such, now she feels intimidated by horses but she wants me to teach my nephew to ride when he's old enough.
My step-dad used to ride in his younger days, however as he grew older he had less time to spend on them, but he seems happy to help me out when i need it and get involved. He's even making whiskey a shelter for her field when we move.
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post #7 of 33 Old 07-11-2011, 05:36 PM
Join Date: Dec 2010
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only my grandma approves of my obsession.
no one really suppports me, my mom supports my swimming and my dad supports soccer and lacrosse :/ sometimes it would be nice if they supported it but most of the time i really doint care! it was really hard when my boy recently passed, my dad said thats too bad and that was it >:l i was so mad!!!
im like the odd ball of my family, they call me thier little hick cuz im all country and they r all fashion and modern and stuff... maybe im adopted who knows! but oh well thats why i have my horses!!! they support me... like legit lol

the hardest part of riding is the ground... yup sounds about right
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post #8 of 33 Old 07-11-2011, 05:47 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: West Virginia
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lol my horses cost me my husband I think...he got so jealous of the time I spend with them he tried to force me out of them. Called them dumb animals, asked me why I would ever want to stand around for hours just staring at them, questioned me about every decision I made concerning them...until finally I realized...why on earth would I ever be with someone who didn't like horses? And more importantly what kind of person couldn't like horses? We have been separated for several months...oh well still got my horses :)
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post #9 of 33 Old 07-11-2011, 06:01 PM
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I was born into a horse family, though now I am the only one still actively involved in the family farm. My gpa is still a horseman through & through and goes with me out to the barn frequently though it is painful for him to get there, he's had several back surgeries, is diabetic & has neuropathy in his legs that makes him lose them out from under him sometimes. He goes just to watch me work horses, do chores, and take in the smell and love on the old stud who will hold him up if he loses his balance while petting him. He tells me all the time he wants to ride but unfortunately we both know that isn't an option anymore :( I have contemplated teaching one of my old rusty trusties to bow so that he might be able to get on one again. (very much against family wishes, but he'd do it for me) He's always open to talk horses with me as he's always been the one told "Don't you ever talk about anything else?" He's my biggest fan & greatest supporter.

My hubby grew up on the lake, his idea of weekend fun is skiing, tubing & wakeboarding. It's taken almost 11 years but he's now converted into a horse guy, for the most part. He doesn't show with me but is always game for a weekend trail ride, doesn't complain about the work (too much) and loves halter breaking babies. He even took shifts on foal watch this spring and got to witness his first live birth, it was his mare & he was a pretty proud horse dad :)

I do get grief from non-horsey friends. "you never have time to do anything" "why won't you go out with us?" I am who I am, horses are a HUGE part of that and if they don't like it, well I don't reckon I really need them as friends too badly then.

Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, Take another shot.
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post #10 of 33 Old 07-11-2011, 06:41 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Waxhaw, NC
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Very fascinating hearing the different scenarios everyone lives. I think I might be yearning for the "boarding friend" where i can "escape to the barn". I escape to my barn to do chores, and have my quiet thinking time. But i miss having people to ride with. Its not so bad, and i love my horse time. Nice to know i'm not the only one supporting my own habit ;)
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