Does your horse get in the way of your relationship?
 
 

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Does your horse get in the way of your relationship?

This is a discussion on Does your horse get in the way of your relationship? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category
  • How to get your horses into a relationship
  • Wife riding horses causes relationship problems

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    03-29-2012, 04:49 PM
  #1
Foal
Does your horse get in the way of your relationship?

Does your horse/horses ever cause relationship issues with your partner or loved one due to the shear amount of time these animals need or costs, yes that's a good one (the big critters are rather spendy.) Just curious.
     
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    03-29-2012, 04:50 PM
  #2
Weanling
Nope, Me and the wife both are into horses and we both like to ride, work with young horses and like having broodmares and foals.
RoosHuman and digggin like this.
     
    03-29-2012, 05:10 PM
  #3
Started
All the time. I work during the week and teach on the weekends. I can't drop everything to take road trip whenever I want, or when someone offers tickets to a sporting event, I can't go and it drives him crazy. But he knows better than to make me choose.
     
    03-29-2012, 05:12 PM
  #4
Green Broke
Not at all - my husband has hobbies that take up a significant amount of his time and can be quite costly, so it is really not an issue between us because my horsey habit is no different than his fishing or gaming or music.
Wallaby, myQHpaul, FlyGap and 2 others like this.
     
    03-29-2012, 05:14 PM
  #5
Weanling
No - because that was the frist rule about going out with me, I come with a horse. I have seen many many people (friends and sisters) who married men who promptly made them give up their horses and it eventually ruined the relationship.

My hubby rides on occasion - he loves horses. He will fix fences, shovel poo, hold for farrier or vet. Most importantly, when I have had a bad horse day and I come home shreaking that I am selling that @#$#%@#$ animal, he tells me NO. We have been together for 25 years this Sept.

There are spouces out there who even if they are not into horses, will learn to be, or will sympathitic to your hobby (though you have to understand that they get to have hobbies that cost the same too). Just be up front about it.
     
    03-29-2012, 05:23 PM
  #6
Yearling
Omg yessssss

It doesn't help that I bought the horse after the relationship started. And, I don't know why he is so shocked.

I moved from a densly populated area of MI to a not-so populated area of MO. Our home is considered "in town," meaning it has a normal size lot and is close to shopping, schools, church, restaurants.

When I first moved down here (in 2010) to be with him, we would talk about selling the house in town and moving to 10-15 acres so I could HAVE A HORSE.

He participated in saying THOSE words. We even had a timeline; 3-5 yrs.

Well, last fall, he refinanced, one neighbor put up a privacy fence, and we became closer to the other neighbors. And, all of a sudden he started talking about how nice the house is and how it will be paid for in less than 10 yrs. He didn't want to sell the house.

So, I went and bought a horse and found a place to keep said horse.

And, NOW anytime we bump heads, the horse is brought into the argument. Mostly, it is him feeling replaced. In Michigan, I was very active and had lots of hobbies and friends. It was common for me to be out 5 out of 7 evenings doing things. He has interests, but they don't necessarily require others or time out of the house.

Even if I am at the barn alone, I am OUT (away from the home) and he sees that as a time threat against him.

Funny thing is, as soon as I turn it into a controlling thing, he backs down. It is not about me being in the house waiting on him. He just doesn't feel needed like before.

So, um, yea. The hay burner has been blamed for every thing from dirty floors, lack of underwear, and my being unable to go for hikes because I fell off and sprained my ankle.

     
    03-29-2012, 05:29 PM
  #7
Started
If my horses got in the way that means my horses would win my love...the boy comes second to my babies... if they can't handle then they are to needy for me...
     
    03-29-2012, 05:41 PM
  #8
Trained
I come with the horse(s). I have a job that's good enough I can support them and myself without a SO. That's my deal is that I don't need anyone and if they raise a fuss about the horses I will always choose the horses above them.
How I knew my current (non horsey) bf was serious is he showed up to a horse show. He knows the above to be true as well and is actually likes spending time at the barn with all the animals and the outside. He rode once hahaha.
So no, my horses don't get in the way of my relationship any more than my job, my research, my personality or anything else does.
Of course there are days when I wish I could see my bf more often but then when we go on a vacation I miss my horse! I like having both in my life so I balance them and they like each other (especially when carrots are involved) so everything works put. Relationships are about compromising. He compromises when I'm with the horses and I compromise when I'm skipping the barn for him. My favorite compromise is when he's at the barn with me :P
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    03-29-2012, 05:58 PM
  #9
Green Broke
I told my hubby, well gave him an idea of how expensive horses were going to be, he'll say something every now and then, but for the most part, he's fine with it. He knows that my barn time is my time to get away, and just "my thing", his is going to the gym and working out. We have worked out a great understanding, and although we don't see eachother for a good amount of time each day, due to our schedules being opposite, everything works out great!
digggin likes this.
     
    03-29-2012, 06:03 PM
  #10
Yearling
No, he gripes sometimes about always going to horse shows but I told him long ago I would always pick the horse first. Harsh but true. He comes from a barrel racing family, and we ever met at a show. So he gets it mostly.
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