It doesn't help that I bought the horse after the relationship started. And, I don't know why he is so shocked.
I moved from a densly populated area of MI to a not-so populated area of MO. Our home is considered "in town," meaning it has a normal size lot and is close to shopping, schools, church, restaurants.
When I first moved down here (in 2010) to be with him, we would talk about selling the house in town and moving to 10-15 acres so I could HAVE A HORSE.
He participated in saying THOSE words. We even had a timeline; 3-5 yrs.
Well, last fall, he refinanced, one neighbor put up a privacy fence, and we became closer to the other neighbors. And, all of a sudden he started talking about how nice the house is and how it will be paid for in less than 10 yrs. He didn't want to sell the house.
So, I went and bought a horse and found a place to keep said horse.
And, NOW anytime we bump heads, the horse is brought into the argument. Mostly, it is him feeling replaced. In Michigan, I was very active and had lots of hobbies and friends. It was common for me to be out 5 out of 7 evenings doing things. He has interests, but they don't necessarily require others or time out of the house.
Even if I am at the barn alone, I am OUT (away from the home) and he sees that as a time threat against him.
Funny thing is, as soon as I turn it into a controlling thing, he backs down. It is not about me being in the house waiting on him. He just doesn't feel needed like before.
So, um, yea. The hay burner has been blamed for every thing from dirty floors, lack of underwear, and my being unable to go for hikes because I fell off and sprained my ankle.