HOLD ON!! I've GOT A NEW WINNER!!! But not for a dumb ad just for a dumb horse.... found this one:
(I am going to write this ad as honestly as possible, so forgive my bluntness please, but I want this guy to end up in the most suitable home possible for him.) Rocky (APHA Name: Scenic Rocket Bar) is an 11 year old APHA registered gelding who is possibly the dumbest horse I've ever owned (through no fault of his own). Currently stands 15.3h (with an official stick, on concrete, this is not an eyeball estimate) and is essentially a golden retriever with hooves. His previous owner passed away due to brain cancer, and Rocky was his pasture pet, so he essentially never had to do anything except be loved on and stand around looking pretty for 10 years (which he is extremely good at). He has WONDERFUL ground manners, is a doll for the farrier and vet, and couldn't be any sweeter, but under saddle, he's dumb as a stone. There isn't a mean bone in his body, but he genuinely needs to be taught to use his brain as he currently has the retention capabilities of a brick. He will lunge no problem, walk, trot, whoa, back, etc without a problem under saddle (runs into his canter, but its there), but you need to be very clear and basically treat him like a 3 year old since he tends to forget everything you taught him the day before. He's just very reliant on his owner/rider for direction and instruction, and as I do only barrel racing & pole bending, I need a horse with something between his ears other than dust and cobwebs. He lives up to the phrase "Nice house, nobody home" and he's a wonderful horse to have around the barn (no bad habits, easy to get along with, low man on the totem pole), but my horses have to be able to work for me, and asking him to run a pole pattern (with 12+ flying changes) is a monumental task that I think would end with him needing a psychotherapist. His ideal situation would be a teenager that wants her own (cheap), pretty gelding that will love on him and mess with him on a daily basis and eventually take him to 4H or open shows or make him into a playday horse. He is UTD on shots, worming, 2010 Coggins etc, had his teeth floated in May and had a Power Pac done at the same time. He IS low man on the totem pole (definitely a gentle giant) and the other horses pick on him (he would rather run away and go off by himself than hang with the herd), so he's a little thin right now (compared to the pictures from Feb), but he's gaining weight steadily. He has nice hard feet and will most likely never need shoes. Price on this guy is $600. That's what I paid for him in Feb, with no vet work, etc, so I have a LOT more into him than that, but he's doing nothing here except being a lawn ornament and while he does it very well, its not fitting into my program.
Phone calls only please, I can be reached anytime at (248) XXX-XXXX, please leave a voicemail if no answer. Oh. My.Gosh that is by far the cutest darn thing I have ever red... Basicly a golden retriver on hooves or wait, he lives up to the saying Nice house, nobody home" And he gets bullied!! Love it! Now that's original!