Very Long, but Hopefully Funny!
Wow, I have so many to add to here. In the 4 months spent looking for a "cheap" (around $1,000) horse for my friend, I have found so many things that made me laugh. Prepare yourselves.
Mucho is registered half arab but is almost full arab. He rides english and western, WTCs, Transitions well, squares up for halter, started over jumps. He does need an intermediate rider. He has a wonderful personality and really is a great boy
Which is he? Register half, or almost full? And the only picture is one of his head and shoulders. Ok, so he has a nice head, but he could be the most sickle-hocked or deformed horse past that that you've ever seen!
Dr. Pepper loving horse
Leo is a 15 year old quarter horse who has a big personality. If you have any kind of food on you he will sniff you all over until he finds it but his favorite treat above all things is Dr. Pepper. He drinks it just like a human right out of a cup and if you have a straw and lid on it he will get it off. (There was a lot more info, going on for several paragraphs!)
Hm, never heard of that one yet!
Nice eight year old Appaloosa trail gelding. Finny is a handsome fellow who loves to trail ride with other horses and walks along with a nice slow pace. When asked he will break into a beautiful trot that is easy to set and does not require you to post. He does not like to ride out on his own because he values the comfort and companionship of other horses. Finny loves to be groomed and stands well when being tacked up and mounted. He is pretty good for the farrier and was just trimmed and front shoes reset last week. Price is negotiable within reason. Please call for more details.
I need to hire these people to write an ad for my mom's, uh, *special* horse!
Amazing Companion Horse or Lightly Trailed!
Ollie Is an 13 year old Appendix QH. Ollie has the puppy dog attitude. He is great with people. The only reason we are selling him is because he has a limp in the front right hoof. I Want a family that will give him all the attention he needs! You can still ride him on trails just no athletic work with him, I would love to keep him but I need a gaming gelding.(blah blah blah)
First of all, name a horse that isn't an "Amazing Companion Horse"! Second of all, when I think of trail rides, I think of climbing up steep hills and rocky terrain, and taking nice long gallops. That isn't athletic? Then I guess my horse got in shape grazing all the time. Hm.
Lightning is a very nice gelding. He stands about 15hh. He has done trails, jumping, packed kids around and used to be a lesson horse at a stable. He is half arab so has a little forward movement, but he is very fun and safe both on the ground and under saddle. He has had allot of training but has only had a under 25 rides in this summer, so he does need a refresher course. If interested please contact me. Serious inquires only!
Scotch - Sorrel Quarter Horse Mare
Just a picture of the horse grazing with a fly mask on. Yep, good luck selling that horse!
(Excert from a VERY long ad.)
I'm not a 'horse person'. I am an intermediate rider, own two and they are my babies. This baby needs a GOOD forever home. He will be purchased on a buy back contract. If you choose to sell him in the future, I shall be granted first refusal.
Then what is a "horse person"?
(On the ad of a black/dark brown Standarbred)
He is a beautiful horse with an extremely unique color to him.
Yes, brown is very unique and special. It is also the color of probably 40% of the horses in the world...
100% Skipper W bred
have papers but never sent them in. Beautiful golden color with white socks.
That would be palomino. And this on the ad of a gelding, so they weren't even bragging she/he would be good for breeding. Nope, according to the info provided, he is good for nothing but to look at his " beautiful golden color and white socks". Hm, useful.
I originally bred my mare Penny in order to have another horse for my father so he could ride with me. Vote For Pedro, or Baby as we call her, was born a year before I left for college and during that year we worked with her to get her ready to ride. After I moved away for school, my father began regularly riding another horse we had.
Because she hasn't been ridden in a number of years Baby is a bit green but would a fun project for someone looking to train and work with their own horse. She is highly intelligent, very friendly and has a pretty buckskin and white painted color. Both her mane and tail are part white and part dark brown.
What's wrong with this ad?
1) She bred her horse so her father could ride with her? So you are willing to wait about 4 years (from when her mare was first bred to when she could truly be ridden a lot) so her father could ride? Wouldn't it be easier to buy an actually trained horse?
2) She was born a year before you went to college? Could you see that coming, you leaving and your poor dad getting stuck with an unruly yearling? And on that not, how did you get into college if you could not count a year ahead and see this coming?
3) She's "green broke"? You went to college when she was a yearling and came back and now the horse is for sale (she is currently 6). She couldn't have been ridden for more than a few months if the girl left when she was a yearling or so and sat around til the girl got home.
Basically, why don't people see these things before hand? To think "In 2 years, what am I going to do with this unruly yearling?
Corleone is a drop dead gorgeous APHA gelding. He is a big stout boy! Requires and experienced rider and preferably a very confident, kind woman who can gain his trust and continue to work on decensatizing him to loud noises and new sights. He has earned his ROM in halter, has earned several Grand and Reserves in local western pleasure shows and has been used to trail ride. This horse is NOT, I say NOT a candidate for sporting events or gymkanas. He is strictly a halter, showmanship, trail - walk, jog recreational horse. If you need a best friend, Corleone is for you. Please call for immediate response. I am trying to reduce my herd. He will only go to an approved, loving home and he has navicular, but has had no issues trail riding. He is shod all around and does not require corrective shoeing. Negotiable to the right home and buyer.
A. He is trail riding and still needs a lot of desensitizing to new sights and sounds? Sounds safe!
B. The photo expired, but basically, this horse is a "halter" QH. So ridiculously muscular with toothpick legs that he can't hold up his own weight under actual work. He seriously looks HYPP.
C. See rant above about trail riding ^. Why do people always say their horse is lame, then is "sound for trails". Maybe walking trails on flat ground, but real trail riding horses work harder than many other disciplines who say there's is "hard". (I won't name any)
Sammy is a purebred 15 year old Arabian. He's my first horse and I've had him for three years. Sammy has had some mild neurological changes that prevent him from being ridden. He is unsafe under saddle, and could wobble and fall without warning. Although, he is very safe to work around and to be turned out. He has a very nice disposition, not a mean bone in his body. He has an old injury on his neck from a board puncturing it during a tornado. Sammy is in great health besides the neurological problem and is UTD on all vaccines. He is able to be turned out and has been doing fine. He has been very well taken care of so it is very important to me that this sweet guy goes to a loving home. He's low maintenance, and needs very little grain. I would be keeping him but I have another horse now, and cannot afford it. He gets along well with all horses, he keeps to himself. Sammy would make a wonderful buddy for your lonely horse!
Really, I wouldn't feel safe working with a horse that could go phyco any moment and fall on me. Most likely, if he even gets sold, he'll just end up being put down. Poor Sammy.
And, I think the ad was deleted, but I found one that said, word for word, "He is blind in one eye. He is fast".
My dream horse! Blind and fast!
Then I found an OTTB for sale. Nice sounding horse, but the owner will certainly never be a horse photographer.
Sorry for the uber-long post, hopefully you laughed at least once!