I don't think you were experienced enough at the beginning of your life with horses nor are you experienced enough now to work with horses that are less than broke. It takes a lot of time to get to that level and as you've seen, green + green = black and blue.
Lessons might seem boring at first or after a while but I think it's better to be bored than breaking every bone in your body.
Also, lessons are much cheaper than owning a horse, so if you are low on funds, don't get a green horse! Get some good quality lessons and work off the price with barn work if you have to.
I think you need to spend time and effort finding an excellent barn. Ask around and see what people recommend, and not your "friends" who are obviously not true friends!
Then, you need to spend time building up your confidence on the calmest school master you can find. I don't care if you have to stick to the walk, go on the lunge line, be lead, etc. There's no shame in that, even professional riders still go on the lunge line now and then, etc. One person on this forum described confidence as kind of like a bank and I really like that. You're currently in confidence debt and you need to pay that off and then start saving "money" again.
Sometimes, lessons just level out in difficulty if that makes sense. You'll feel like you're not getting anywhere, or that your instructor might be holding you back, etc. And that might be true, but sometimes you just have to wait it out and the difficulty level will increase and you'll be challenged again.
Sorry if I seem mean or anything but I think it's important that I emphasize this point: don't waste your time and health with greenies at this point.