What is it you want people to tell you? It's obvious you're blaming others for your own inability to get off your duff and do something about your situation. I guess it's just easier to whine about it than actually take charge of your own riding/showing.
Oh, and I don't believe for one second that your ex-trainer 'kept' you from showing or was jealous of you and your horse. Again, blaming someone else for your own failings. If you were truly determined to show you'd have made it happen, not expect others to take care of everything for you.
You always seem to have a 'poor little me' attitude. Nobody owes you anything. If you want something badly enough, you'll make it happen. If that means you have to wait until you're an adult and do all the work yourself, so be it. It'll help you grow up and learn to take responsibilty for your own happiness.