Friend or not?

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Friend or not?

This is a discussion on Friend or not? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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    09-27-2012, 11:33 AM
Friend or not?

I recently met a new person who enjoys horses, has some knowledge of them and we seemed to click as friends. I have two horses so I invited this person over a few times to get to know them better. They seemed to enjoy hanging out with me and I had fun too. Then, they recently got their own horse. Now I'm not hearing from them at all. I realize that they want to spend time with their own horse but I'm feeling forgotten. I don't want to be pushy and be the one who tries to keep in contact if they don't want to so I'm not making much of an attempt to call them. While I'm happy for them to have gotten their first horse, I'm feeling like the friendship has gone by the wayside. I'd like to keep the door open on this to let this person know that if they still want to be friends, I'd like that but I'm having a hard time knowing just how to do that. Anyone else have a situation like this? What did you do and how did it turn out?
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    09-27-2012, 11:51 AM
Since they now have their own horse, why not invite them to ride with you?

Some people aren't friends in the sense that they're going to be a part of your whole life. Sounds like this person might make a good riding friend.
    09-27-2012, 11:55 AM
Getting a new horse is very special try to remember what it was like when you got you new horse giver them a call friends are hard to make so try to keep as many as you can
EvilHorseOfDoom likes this.
    09-27-2012, 11:55 AM
Well why not call them and invite them out on a trail ride? Or text and ask how the new horse is doing?
Sometimes people use others to get a "Fix" then as soon as they get their own "thing" they go their own way. I've had some "friends" like that. Or they could just be busy, hope they reach out soon if you don't!
    09-27-2012, 12:03 PM
I'd like to give this person time to get to know their new horse. I don't want to seem pushy. I left things open with them and I think I just need to be patient and wait to see if they contact me when they're ready. Because of other issues I can't trail ride right now so asking them to ride is not a possibility. I have a small group of "horsey friends" and I'm always looking to include someone else because we have a lot of fun hanging out together, not necessarily riding. I guess I'm just feeling a bit left out is all.
    09-27-2012, 12:10 PM
Just call them and say hello it will not hurt as much as losing them
    09-27-2012, 12:34 PM
It sounds like that your friend is just caught up in the excitement of owning their own horse. I am betting that they are spending all of their free time at the barn right now. Call your friend. Ask how they are getting on with their new horse. Your friend will probably be more than willing to talk your ears off about that subject. I certainly don't think anyone would consider that pushy.
Spotted likes this.
    09-27-2012, 03:47 PM
Thanks for all the replies. I emailed her(our usual method of communicating). Now we'll see.
    10-12-2012, 08:49 PM
Just an update: no reply to my email. Guess I now know what kind of a friend she was.
    10-12-2012, 09:32 PM
Im sorry! That sucks when that happens but better to have the friendship deteriorate at the beginning then later on when more is invested. Even though she got her first horse and is probably in ga ga heaven it really doesnt take alot of effort or time to shoot a quick text or email saying hello. Maybe she didnt feel the click as you did but why wait to blow someone off till after you get your own horse. Sounds maybe like you fulfilled her horsey fix till she had means to fulfill her own.

I've had at least three one sided friendships before and it sucks and it is a blow. I might be waaay off but I've thought people were friends and overall cool people then slowing find out they wers just selfish people. And Im not a clingy friend or needy. I don't have to talk to you everyday or week but I just hate finding out someone was fake and putting up a front.

Sorry if Im off on this! :)

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