Friend or not? - Page 2

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Friend or not?

This is a discussion on Friend or not? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category
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    10-12-2012, 09:45 PM
Originally Posted by mypets    
just an update: no reply to my email. Guess I now know what kind of a friend she was.
Just give it some time....I used to be like that, but sometimes you never know what's going on in someone's life...I remember being mad at someone for not returning my call, and I wasn't going to 'lower' myself by continually trying to get in contact with this person.....eventually I found out that her mom had passed away in an accident....I was feeling like a real schmuck!
EvilHorseOfDoom likes this.
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    10-12-2012, 09:45 PM
Yes, better to find out now than to go on believing we were friends. At least now I know what kind of a person she is so if she suddenly finds the time for friendship I won't be so easily taken in.
    10-12-2012, 10:05 PM
Originally Posted by mypets    
Yes, better to find out now than to go on believing we were friends. At least now I know what kind of a person she is so if she suddenly finds the time for friendship I won't be so easily taken in.
Don't get mad. It will eat you up. You'll be mad at yourself later for wasting so much energy being mad or disappointed about it. Don't burn the bridge right now, because if you do that you'll need an awfully big ship later
EvilHorseOfDoom likes this.
    10-12-2012, 10:57 PM
True.... but is also ok to feel let down and disappointed. Im not saying be rude or unkind to her but to act as if your not hurt and welcoming her as a friend again without any reservations is like saying "Sure pick me up and drop me whenever its convenient for you and your needs". Don't sulk or wait around cause it will only make you bitter but to feel it and learn what you want and deserve in a friend is the key.

Yes something could have come up. Yes she could be busy. Yes she could be spending every free moment with her new guy. All is great and is her prerogative but it takes less than 5 minutes before bed to type an email to someone to say hello. When you know someone was opening their home and barn to you you show consideration to that fellow person especially if you honestly were trying to establish friendship and not just satisfy your own needs.

You could "what if" all day about what may be happening with her for her to not respond to your email and have not contact still but that is a waste of your time and energy. Enjoy the true friends you have and appreciate the respect and consideration they give you.

Oh and one last thing...... Maybe she didnt feel a friendship connections which is completly fine. You can't make someone be your friend but from the info you have given is what leads me to lean toward my opinion. I always try to be good, caring, loyal friend and even acquaintance. I believe some of the same dynamics apply to friendships as marriages. You show respect you get respect. You consideration you get consideration. You give and you get. You think of the others feelings not just your own. If both parties show it then the good times will come rolling in but if theres a lack on one side or the other it needs to be worked on or changed.
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    10-15-2012, 10:20 AM
I agree with you fkcb1988. I am definitely not waiting around to hear from her. If she doesn't have 5 min. For me then she's probably not the kind of person I want for a friend anyway. I'm not bitter or mad, more hurt that she turned out to be this kind of person. If anything, I'm disappointed that I misjudged her and her intentions. If she does contact me in future, I plan to be cordial but not offer to be anything else. I am truly busy running not only my own business but also a business I co-own and yet I find the time to touch base with my friends. Since she was a new acquaintance, I can only judge her by her actions, which say to me that she does not care to continue to try to build a friendship with me. That's ok. Moving on.
fkcb1988 likes this.
    10-15-2012, 12:24 PM
I am sorry for you
    10-15-2012, 05:05 PM
Why do you feel sorry for me? I tried to offer her friendship, she apparently doesn't want it. I'm moving on with my life. There are other new friends out there I just haven't met yet! I'm looking forward to meeting them! Feel sorry for her, she's missing out on a great friendship!

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