Frustrating!!! (long vent!)

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Frustrating!!! (long vent!)

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        01-27-2010, 11:45 AM
    Frustrating!!! (long vent!)

    My husband is not a very horse orientated person. He likes to look at them and feed them, but other than that he's got a "whatever" attitude.

    I've been retraining OTTBs for about 10 years. More recently (as you probably know) I purchased two ex-racehorses, one OTTB and one OTSB. They were great. Projects for sure. But I had a rehabber mare before them that flipped over with me on her and I lost a pregnancy because of it.

    Ever since then my husband has been abnormally strict about the horses I have. He's afraid of me getting hurt.

    Now at the stables I run, I give lessons and I also start or re-train horses for other people, or help them do it. But he seemed to think it's ok that I do it for other people but not for my own horses. I complained once that I didn't have a horse I could just get on and ride. That set him off. He said that to continue running the stables I had to sell my two projects.

    To be fair he gave me a limit, said I could have 4 good (ie trained) horses and one "cheap" project. I had my eye on a gorgeous filly out east, but that had a $4000 price tag. He was ok with it til I footed the bill for colic surgery for a rescue we'd taken in, and that blew my project budget WAY out the window. And truly p*ssed not only me off, but the lady I was going to buy the filly from.

    So now I have Buzz, the umm.. Westphalen x QH (with a KWPN COP LMAO oy). I got him for free. Then I finally found Buttercup, Welsh x QH, that I got for my son as well as a lesson horse. I got her for free. I also have a cremello QH gelding (who will be mine/lesson horse) coming in that all I have to pay for is the transport.

    That leaves me with one more horse plus a project.

    We have the property, it's in our budget, I totally understand where he's coming from but I feel like it's not fair that I can train other people's horses but not my own. I can get hurt just as easily training someone else's horse. Why doesn't he see that????

    Am I being unreasonable? I mean, yes, I know I am, but does anyone see my side??
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        01-27-2010, 12:25 PM
    I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from. When I flipped over the front of my guy (also an OTTB) because he decided to literally leap into a gallop, my parents went on a weeks long tyrade about how I just needed to sell him for meat. Mind you, the only thing I had to show for this fall was a single hoof print on my thigh. That suggestion alone made me so angry and I cried a lot over it, because they aren't horse people so they really don't understand. They don't even understand why I want to get him trained (go figure on that one).

    I think you might have to ride this out for a little bit, and let your husband get over the loss. I'm sure your way of grieving is to of course, work your frustrations out with a nice long ride.....his way is to blame the thing that supposedly caused it. Then when it kind of feels right, slowly re-introduce re-training horses for yourself. It may be awhile, which totally sucks, but I guess think of it from his perspective. Usually the people who help re-train their own horses are the ones whose horses don't have any real problems. When you take on a "project" that's usually because no one else wants them, and obviously its going to be for some reason.
        01-27-2010, 12:38 PM
    Wow, ok yeh. See my husband is quite a bit older than me too so that might play into the whole overprotective thing.

    When the mare I was riding flipped, I was at a dressage lesson where the "instructor" told me she had been working with my mare, I got on her, the instructor twitched her tail (don't ask I have no idea why) and my mare reared up so far she fell over backwards, crushing me under her.

    The "project" I'm looking at now is a well handled weanling filly. My husband is still in a sweat about it though.

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