Funniest horse saying/quotes/stories/etc - The Horse Forum
 
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post #1 of 6 Old 07-28-2011, 09:09 AM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
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Funniest horse saying/quotes/stories/etc

Every Equestrian can use a laugh!! Whether your horse refused a jump or you are in intensive care after a fall, whatever.

Ten Ways to Get in Shape to Own a Horse:
  1. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout "Get off,stupid! Get off!"
  2. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "Relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet!
  3. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse/pocket and write out a $200. Check without even looking down.
  4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you're doing.They might as well know now.
  5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt. And smile as if you are really having fun.
  6. Hone your fibbing skills. "See hon, moving hay bales is fun!" and " I'm glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won you first place - I'm just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place".
  7. Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder, and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
  8. Borrow the US Army slogan; "Be all that you can be'...(add) bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled."
  9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience,..."
  10. Marry Money!


Pretty words are not always true and true words are not always pretty.
My treasurers do not twinkle or glitter, they neigh in the night and glow in the sun
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post #2 of 6 Old 07-29-2011, 10:02 PM
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When you horse sticks is tounge at you its just saying "I love you."
You board your horse at your house and in the morning it stares throught the widow directly at you saying "i want food" you have a super equine.

All quotes are copyright of Martin-Wasp Co.



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post #3 of 6 Old 07-30-2011, 12:16 AM
Weanling
 
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These are a couple of favorites I've heard over the years:
Horses are afraid of two things - things that move and things that don't move

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between you and the ground

I have a book called "Hold Your Horses". It's a must read for any horse lover, hilarious sayings and illustrations =)
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post #4 of 6 Old 08-01-2011, 10:14 PM
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I ment "tongue" not "tonge".



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post #5 of 6 Old 08-01-2011, 10:40 PM
Weanling
 
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Quote:
9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience,..."
I just did this last week at a show...


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post #6 of 6 Old 09-03-2011, 10:13 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eclipse295 View Post
Ten Ways to Get in Shape to Own a Horse:
  1. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt. And smile as if you are really having fun.
I get to do this the 3rd week of september, week long horse show. Miss Mary Anne has decided that she doesn't need to stop.


Pretty words are not always true and true words are not always pretty.
My treasurers do not twinkle or glitter, they neigh in the night and glow in the sun
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