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Funny Horse Disasters, Share One!

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    06-12-2012, 05:42 PM
Green Broke
Originally Posted by equiniphile    
My mom's ex-boyfriend was a polo player and told us of his ex-wife's genius idea....

She was holding a horse at a polo comp and decided she would be oh-so-smart and tie the horse's lead rope in a double-knot around her waist. Well, horse spooked and took off, dragging her back to the barn. Smart woman, right?
Duh?? Which way did he go....
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    06-12-2012, 05:55 PM
Originally Posted by equiniphile    
She was holding a horse at a polo comp and decided she would be oh-so-smart and tie the horse's lead rope in a double-knot around her waist. Well, horse spooked and took off, dragging her back to the barn. Smart woman, right?
I will, as exhibited in my first adventure, refrain from any comment on her alleged lack of intelligence
    06-12-2012, 05:57 PM
You guys have me dying laughing!!! Especially longshot lol

As for my story..hmm

My sway back mare lil red is a great mare absolutely the greatest great she tries her hardest to make life for her rider oh so much easier. You would think as a rider of such a horse you would be happy such a large animal wants to keep you safe...

Well we are strolling down the road me riding her bareback with my sis and cousin leading the way on my other 2 horses at the time. Well those two girls decided to go for a trot and eventually into a canter now lil red loves to keep her rider safe by staying in her horrid trot and never pushing faster. Eventually the two ladies ahead of me stop and turn around call for me to hurry up.. as they do we are passing a corn field right where one of the farmers was baling hay with his sons...did I mention cute sons... ok I mean like really really cute sons lol... well lil read decided as soon I try to 2-point her trot bareback that she wanted to walk...well as slow motion as you can imagine she comes to a walk I recollect myself on her or so I thought until she does this body shake...not a fast shake. But a slow shake and I slowly, I mean slowly start slipping to the side as soon as I am half way off lil red decided to put her head around and try to help me... by knocking my arm off her shoulder so I just completely fell off ... the falling I can get over...what I can't get over to this day is what she did after that... she decides as soon as I hit the ground and am half under her that is now time to take a pee break :/ **** I see her start adjusting her body and take a step over me so I was now behind her and it was like my brain was telling me to move my legs but I just couldn't... then I started noticing her ready to let loose and my brain started screaming **** women move out of her way... last minute I moved out of her way so she wouldn't hit me with her pee ... I sat there dumb struck for a few mintues as everyone watched what had just happened.

She did give me a very apologetic look after that ..but I was so embarressed
    06-12-2012, 06:11 PM
Originally Posted by kait18    
I see her start adjusting her body and take a step over me so I was now behind her and it was like my brain was telling me to move my legs but I just couldn't... then I started noticing her ready to let loose and my brain started screaming **** women move out of her way... last minute I moved out of her way so she wouldn't hit me with her pee ...
Would have been funnier if you had let her pee on you but I understand you lack of commitment to a humiliating event... LOL.. good one
    06-12-2012, 10:12 PM
Good grief, where do I start?

Well...there was this one time where I thought it would be smart to do Around the World exercises on my horse bareback while he was walking home. Slid right off and couldn't get back on because I'm too short and he's too tall.

Then there was the time that I decided it would be fun to hop on my horse in the pasture without any tack. Rusty takes off and I do an emergency dismount. Except it failed and I landed on my knees.

And then there was the time I went down to the creek. I let Rusty start grazing and, silly me, I just tied his reins so they wouldn't fall down his neck, and I turned my back on him to look at the creek. I look back and watch Rusty gallop home. I run all the way after him, and I'm sure my neighbor thought this was hilarious, as he had seen us ride down to the creek. Rusty runs through our pasture and makes a big scene of jumping every jump out in the field. He stops and I get on. Oh, but it gets better. I decided to take him out by the creek again so he would learn that running home doesn't mean you get to stay home. Well, silly me, I thought it would be fun to ride sideways on a steep hill by the creek. Rusty is not the most surefooted horse, and he tripped, and I fell off the other way and watched him trip all the way up the hill. Then I waded through mud and had to walk him through a muddy field and up by the road on a "walk of shame." Never doing that again.

And then most dad had this tarp out in our garden that Rusty found suspicious. I tried to ride him over it, but he wasn't having any of it. So I got off and rubbed the tarp on his face. He was okay with that. Led him over a thin strip of the tarp. He was okay with that. Started leading him over the big strip - Rusty thought he was a big cross-country jumper and leaped over the tarp and his front hooves hit me in the calf, causing me to faceplant in the grass and then I got hit by one of his back hooves. Went to the ER to make sure everything was okay. Now I have a hitch in my walk. Not trying that again.

Yes, everything seems to happen with me and Rusty...
    06-12-2012, 11:04 PM
This thread is great! I guess since longshot is divulging more than one, I'll share some more too.

A couple are only disasters because I got caught, and maybe a bit stupid. They are pretty darn funny now.

I've shared this one before but it's one of my all time favorite memories. I was little, 7-8ish? And we were at a horse show. My grandpa has always dipped skoal. My sister and I thought it was disgusting. We emptied out his can and filled it back up with dried up, crumbly horse manure. I can see the look on grandpa's face to this day when he got that to his lip. We laughed so hard as we ran away...but we failed to consider that we had to ride home with him.

Mom picked up a small pony at an auction for us once. Got him home and he was an absolute butt. He was small enough though that us girls thought it was kind of fun. He earned the name AJ (Air Jordan) he was real good at walking on his hind legs. We'd go back behind the barn where we thought no one would see us. One would get on bareback, the other would smack him on the butt as hard as we could. Winner was whoever went the farthest on 2 legs. Neither of us truly won because we got caught.

I am also guilty of killing one of my cabbage patch dolls. I was again, not very old, thought it a good plan to "break" one of the yearlings by tying a doll on her with twine. Poor Betsy Ann got disemboweled when lazy yearling scraped her down the entire side of the barn.
    06-12-2012, 11:18 PM
Originally Posted by longshot    
Ok I'll cop to it but nobody better pass this story When I was about 16 (100 years ago or so) it was winter time and we decided we want to pull an inner tube behind the horse in the snow. I saddled the mare up and my brother tied the rope to the tube. He handed me the other end of the rope and I mounted. I looked around and thought (yes this made sense at the time) If I dally this rope to the horn it will have to go over my thigh and as we are galloping and frolicking in the snow it will put alot of pressure on my leg and be painful. So being the intelligent redneck I am, I decided to tie the rope around my waist... (yes seriously now quit interrupting!) we got all set and my brother gave me the thumbs up from the tube.. I leaned forward kicked the horse and hissed... well the tube moved about three feet and the horse took of like a quarter horse should.. but as the law of physics still applies (even in rural Idaho) I came off like I was tied to a telephone pole.. sitting in the snow I realized my error... my brother on the other hand made no comment as he couldn't breathe well enough for about an hour.. everytime he looked at me he doubled over.. For the record I can still only generate a chuckle over that one.. A full on laugh may be another 25 years away....
Oh. MY. GoD! That is the absolute best story ever!

I am dying here!!!
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    06-12-2012, 11:24 PM
Green Broke
I remember when we were kids and had our horses across the border in Point Roberts (a tiny peninsula that belongs to the US). We used to ride our horses along the beach to our houses on the Canadian side, my friends dad used to buy a bunch of booze and we would ride it across. Not too smart now that I think of it, we were only teenagers. Any hoo this one time we had our horses in the neighbours back yard as it was empty. I had my welsh mountain pony in the yard with no halter/bridle on and his red blanket (he was white). My friend who was none too smart was riding her horse around the yard. I told her to be sure to close the gate when she was done, well she forgot. Next thing we see Cinders trotting up the path. I told her not to chase him, he was a terror to catch. Next thing I know they are galloping up the road towards the main intersection of our town. We ran and got the car and were going through town asking people if they have seen a white pony with a red blanket being followed by a dumbass on a big bay. They were heading toward the boarder, thankfully some guy stopped his car jumped out and grabbed Cinders as he ran past. Very scary though
    06-13-2012, 12:13 AM
Great stories everyone!

I had a lease horse for a few months on my property, he was a crazy qh. Well one day I was attempting to ride him in the pasture. He got a bug up his butt and decided that he wasn't going to move forward. I sat there fighting with him for a while, then stupid me kicked him hard and gave a loud "Hyaaa". He persisted to give a couple good bucks and a very big rear. He held the rear for what seemed like minutes and I lost my stirrups. Some how I managed to stay and and he came back down pretty hard. I looked up and noticed that the neighbors were having a barbeque and everyone was standing at the fence line watching! I was so embarrased until they started cheering! Lol. They went on to tell the whole neighborhood that I was a horse riding master. And of coarse with everyone else being so cocky about their horses abilities I got multiple challenges to see who was better.
Eventually someone explained to my neighbors that what I did was not good, so now I get made fun of every time I mount :)
    06-13-2012, 12:36 AM
I took my paint gelding and my moms paint gelding to trail ride last fall and these two hate each other but they went into the trailer fine. Unloaded fine, saddled pretty good, and go into the gated area that surrounds the many miles of trails! Then as we were getting on my horse tried to bite hers ear off, then hers tried to bite mines rump then mine went after his face and so on! We then started off down the trail mine horse wouldnt go very far throw a tantrum then walk a ways and do it for a half an hour! We then got to a very sandy part and my horse starts to paw and paw then starts to go down and I step off and he gets burrs! I pick the little devils off and get back on. We go a bit more my moms horse is amazing for her, he acted up the whole hour and a half. But loaded back up great!

disasters, funny, horse, ireland

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