Furious!! - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 74 Old 02-09-2013, 08:28 PM
Green Broke
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Originally Posted by Horsequeen08 View Post
Nokota-No he doesn't own a horse at this time. He leases the mare 3 times a week. All the horses he rides are owned by someone else. He sure as hell is never using my mare. :p
Haha, what I meant was are any of the horses he uses in a field with yours?
I'm just thinking that if he acts that way to people's horses with the owners around, he likely acts like that with horses out in the field as well. Maybe he doesn't run up to them, but smacking them? maybe?

"It is the difficult horses that have the most to teach you" - Double Dan Horsemanship
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post #22 of 74 Old 02-10-2013, 04:26 PM
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Oh dear goodness! You handled yourself so well, I'd be so much angrier than that if someone ever put their hands on Image. Thank goodness you or Dreamer didn't get hurt from that stupid man =/ People like that shouldn't be around horses.
Dreamer also could have just been sensing your frustration, too. He doesn't know her, you do; any horse person knows things like this. Every horse is different, and that's definitely not how you treat a green horse.
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post #23 of 74 Old 02-10-2013, 04:34 PM
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And your BO is fine with having someone like this at their barn? Sounds to me like his demeanor made your horse uncomfortable and nervous. I know that I would not have kept my tongue, but good on you for doing it. Sounds like a real ***.
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post #24 of 74 Old 02-10-2013, 04:39 PM
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Haha this reminds of a few months back.....

I was in the arena alone, trying to school something OUT of my horse, so I was kind of kicking his behind but having a hard time (looooong story) anyway, just as I'm getting into the 'zone' this guy walks in the barn, sits in the bleachers with his arms crossed and watches me ride the whole time..... So this guy is a big talker, done this, done that, rode with this famous person, rode with that famous person......in general just a big boaster! (id never seen him ride at this point) So now he's intently watching me while I'm having a hard time (really I was just screaming and crying all on the inside!). The whole time he says NOTHING.....NOT A Word....and all I can think is, 'well if you're so darn good, how about you offer me some advice here!!!' but nothing.........do you realize how disconcerting that can be!!!!

So drove home after that ride, burst into tears when I got in the driveway......really this guy had got to me.......

UNTIL.....I saw him riding at the arena a couple of months later and the lady next to me said 'he looks like a dog humping a football'!!!!!!!

So the next time he was in the arena.......I completely ignored him and his football
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post #25 of 74 Old 02-11-2013, 12:42 AM Thread Starter
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Yeah it was reallyreally hard to deal with. I'm not happy at all. I'm not sure why the bm doesn't ask him to cool it, but she doesn't. She wasn't really happy about it tho, so maybe she did say something. I left the barn and went outside with my horse so if anything was said I'm not sure one way or the other. I'm just still fuming at this days later. Haha afootball, lol. People think they know everything. I'm not his student. I SHOULD have told him no thank you to any advice much earlier. But i thought ignoring him would prevent any barn confrontations. Turns out i was very wrong. Sigh. At least my horse and i are both ok. Again i must say I'm proud of her.

~He knows when you're happy
~He knows when you're comfortable
~And he always knows when you have carrots.
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post #26 of 74 Old 02-11-2013, 01:00 AM
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This is when I love that my horse has no sense of proper personal space... Slap his ass? I'll crank him around and ride right into your lap. He'll probably slobber all over you like a Popsicle, too. This is how we defend ourselves from annoying dogs loose on the trail... What's the difference?
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post #27 of 74 Old 02-11-2013, 01:07 AM
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Wow I would have been frustrated... I got frustrated reading your post! Your BM didn't step in at all?
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post #28 of 74 Old 02-11-2013, 02:45 AM
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While I get frustrated with unsolicited advice, I do think the situation could have been handled differently. The way I read it, Mark started "helping" you, and you went along with it. He stood beside the jump, and your horse refused and deeked out of it multiple times - that is not ok. If I'm riding and the horse refuses, it gets sat on its ass and not allowed off the line of the jump - I HATE seeing riders pull off the jump again and again. I do agree that your horse needed to have a bit of a "get ove it" moment. He probably thought he was helping, and since you didn't say anything to the contrary ("I don't want help") he kept going. It was likely uncalled for about the trot issue, but I wasn't there.
If you don't like riding with this guy or his unsolicited advice, there's a couple of very simple solutions:
- don't ride when he is in the arena
- tell him you don't need/want advice, thank you very much.

Unfortunately, the ring I ride in is used for lessons at minimum 4 days per week, and I ride 5 days a week. Riding space/time is at a premium. Last week, I rode with 7 other riders one day, and 8 other riders another day. (One of those days being a lesson) - you have to learn how to ride with people that don't call their lines or communicate direction. It sucks, but what's the alternative? Not riding? Being bullied out of the ring? No. So what I do is make sure I communicate as much as I can. I call inside/outside for passing. I ask the other riders if they're jumping a course, what the course is. I tell others my course. I yell my lines. It works, more or less.

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post #29 of 74 Old 02-11-2013, 06:40 AM
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I read your post yesterday and gave it some thought and I still don't understand why, if you already don't see eye to eye with this guy on horsemanship, you went along with it for a bit when he started giving you unsolicited advice. Surely, the answer is, "Thanks, but no thanks."

I also wouldn't take "no" as an answer from a horse, refusing ground poles or teeny weeny jumps. Even if the distances were shambolic, the horse should be able to manage if it's just ground poles or jumps they can step over.

That said, the other bit of advice I might offer is: if you are indeed concerned that you will be souring your greenie to jumping by setting her up with *someone else's* distances that you don't think suit her, and thereby putting her in a situation where she might refuse, then don't ask her to go over that obstacle. You said in your OP that you thought your horse was refusing because the distances were wrong for her. Then why put her in that situation in the first place?

Last edited by thesilverspear; 02-11-2013 at 06:47 AM.
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post #30 of 74 Old 02-11-2013, 08:02 AM
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I actually laughed at the story. Wish he'd smack my horse: he probably would get a hoofprint in a chest.

Seriously though you should of tell him very firm "NO, please leave me alone" from the very beginning. Personally I wouldn't skip riding or try to re-adjust my schedule over some jerk. I'd just put him in place.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass: it's about learning to dance in the rain..."

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
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