Thanks guys! I think there had just been a lot of stress in the horsie world for me and a friend lately. She is having a really hard time finding the right horse to ride for her and has been leasing. Then she moved to her dads for a bit to take a break from her mom. I ride her horse Junior [the horse we call mine sometimes]. Junior is older and has some problems with weight and soundness so he isn't that reliable. I haven't worked him for over a month and will start riding him again soon hopefully so that I can build up his muscle.
I guess not only do I feel like I am not a good enough rider, but that I am fighting a losing battle with Junior. It seems like no matter what we try nothing works. We are praying that this winter won't be as harsh as the last one, I had to pull him out of work for almost the whole winter because of multiple issues. It is really disheartening sometimes and my friend tells me not to worry about it because everything concerning him is on her and her fault. But I dunno I just wish I could do more.