Getting a horse? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 10 Old 04-17-2011, 04:39 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Spain
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Getting a horse?

Hey, so, me and my dad have so much in common, we absolutely love horses, thats our strongest point.
We love horse riding and talking about horses, but he doesn't have one, and neither do I. Ive always had the dream of becoming a professional show jumper, and how my life is going at the mo, its not gonna happen.
My parents split up almost 4 years ago. He lives in England and I live in Spain, I only get to see him in the summer, which is really horrible.
My mum isn't exactly 'made of money', so I will probably NEVER get a horse living with her. She has a boyfriend and a baby, my riding has no interest in her.
I HATE living here. I would get a job and buy a horse myself if I could but I cant cause Im 13 and people dont hire people at my age, which sucks.
My dad and I have occasionally discussed sharing a horse and I would see it in the summer, but my mum doesn't want me to move back, and I know exactly why, for obvious reasons.
But I feel like Ill never reach my dream if I only ride once a week for an hour and living with a person who has no interest in horses and doesn't make me feel very confident.
I've tried talking to her but she want even discuss it. She says my dad is useless and Ill have a crap life there. But I wont, I know what its like living with my dad and he's more interested in me than my mum.
I have tried saving for a horse, by b/day and xmas money, but when my mum cant afford my lessons I have to pay for them.
My dad wouldn't send the money over for a horse, but then my wouldn't take me 3+ times a week.
When I have moments like that (every day of the week) I feel selfish. But I am soo unhappy here. Ive lost 75% of my friends due to popularity.
I just wonna be happy, I need advice on convincing my mum to let me go and how to make her understand.
This is probably the wrong topic (again) but I really need help right now :(

Thanks for reading x

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CantStopRiding is offline  
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post #2 of 10 Old 04-17-2011, 04:49 PM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 10,441
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A horse is a huge responsibility. The actual purchase price is NOTHING compared to grain, farrier visits, board, tack, emergency vet visits, supplements, hay, wormers, vaccines, etc. You say you ride once a week....Most of the time, that's all I get to ride either between my mom being at work (parents are divorced as well, and I'm also 13) and caring for them. It's a lot to consider, that's all. If your mom isn't in a situation where she can afford a horse, pushing her isn't going to help.
equiniphile is offline  
post #3 of 10 Old 04-17-2011, 05:01 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 522
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Would you move to England to live with your Dad?
Im sort of in the same place as you . Im also 13 but my parents split up when i was 2 , she got a new bf and had my little brother 5 years ago . It felt like me and my sis werent important and that all she cared about was them. About 3 years ago my step-dad commited suicide , My mum had no money and i knw it was the least of our worries but i knew i was never going to get a horse. We moved a few weeks ago and I got a horse on loan . Me and my mum never got on and when my step-dad died everything got worse but now its getting better.

Dont worry it will all work out.
R.I.P Michael miss you so much x
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JamieLeighx is offline  
post #4 of 10 Old 04-17-2011, 05:14 PM
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: East Midlands, UK
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Hi hun, when I was your age I made the decision to go an live with my Dad instead of my Mum. It's such a huge decision, and one that shouldn't be based on horses. Also, you're still at school, and I'm guessing your Dad works, which doesn't even give you much time for horses. One of the main reasons I actually moved in with my Dad was due to the fact there was an amazing riding school down the road, and in the end, I ended up giving up riding for a year, because they were so snobby. (Anyway, I seem to have got off the point slightly, what I mean to be saying is that it is a massive decision just because you love horses. I understand the love for horses, everyone on this site does, but it is a massive decision to move countries for!) I think you should wait chick, get a saturday job and save up, that's what I did. I saved for about 2 years, and then could finally afford my own horse, without having to rely on my parents too much (obviously my Mum - I moved back eventually, because I missed her too much - drove me to the stables and stuff, but I paid for everything else myself) I think you should think long and hard before you make your final decision. Hope this helps any, and I know it's not what you wanted to hear :/
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post #5 of 10 Old 04-17-2011, 08:51 PM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Quebec
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subscribing! :)

A ride a day keeps the worries away!
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post #6 of 10 Old 04-17-2011, 09:10 PM
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Goat Country with Tia
Posts: 1,977
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I'm very sorry for you. Like everyone else is saying this is a HUGE desicion. I own 2 horses and it is so much work and money. Depending on where you want to live I think you need to figure out if you really have a good thing with your dad and if you feel like leaving the friends you do have. You need to think will you be able to afford the horse,feed,vet ect bills? Also like said above you will still be in school and it is a BIG commitment to go where you want. I think you need to figure it out alittle more and maybe talk to your dad about him being able to pay for all the bills and you need to make sure you are ready to feed and clean stalls everyday. Good Luck with the decision and I hope I helped some! :)

"The hand should be a filter, not a plug or an open faucet."
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post #7 of 10 Old 04-18-2011, 08:59 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Spain
Posts: 53
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Thanks everyone for replying and the advice :)
We used (when my parents were together) own a horse and a donkey. I was 7 (or 8) and I had the donkey all to myself, but my sister had the horse and she couldn't look after it all the time, my mum got angry and sold the horse. So we only had my donkey left. But after a while something got in the food (I never knew what) and killed my donkey, I was heartbroken and my mum said she didn't want the responsibility put on me again.
There are more reasons to why I wonna move country (more personal though Id rather not glote), when I go back to see my dad he is like 5-10 minutes away from a really nice stables, so that wouldn't really be a problem, and school, well Ive juggled 2 before :)
If my dad says I can live with him in the summer, Im going to say yes. Ill miss my mum like hell, but my WHOLE family is in England, my sister, dad, gran, etc. I hate missing out on things (weddings, funerals).
I can just see myself being happier there.
Critique if you want, opinions needed x

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post #8 of 10 Old 04-18-2011, 04:01 PM
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: East Midlands, UK
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It sounds like you're getting sorted in your head, which is good, as you really didn't ought to rush into anything. Just a couple of things to consider:

Can your Dad afford and manage a thirteen year old? I know that sounds awful, but my Dad, as prepared as he seemed, found it was a real culture shock to go from bachelor to full time single parent. I'm not saying that'll be the case with yours, just something to take into account.

Secondly, you need to realise that it won't be one long holiday. One of the reasons I wanted to live with my Dad, is that every time I went to visit him, everything was so fun! But what I didn't realise, everything was centred around me because I was just visiting him. When I lived with him, it was different, obviously, as he was at work a lot, I was at school. We still had a laugh, don't get me wrong, but still. Also, every school has bullies, and b*tchy girls I'm afraid, where ever you go... I've found that out, at every school I've been to (I've been to a lot of schools) and unfortunately it's just part of life's rich tapestry
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post #9 of 10 Old 04-19-2011, 02:44 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Spain
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Haha my I have a 19 year old sister and when she was my age she was a lot worse believe me xP
Yeah, my school has this bitchy girl who thinks shes the best think since sliced bread and finds it hilarious to take the piss out of me. I ignore her though :L

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CantStopRiding is offline  
post #10 of 10 Old 04-19-2011, 04:33 PM
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: East Midlands, UK
Posts: 456
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Good, the only reason bullies bully, is because they're insecure about something themselves. Just pity her, that's all you can do really hun. You know in the long run that you'll be a much more down to earth and well rounded person than she is, just continue to ignore her like you are doing
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