Giving up vs. being realistic? (long!)
I've had my horse since early March. I know we waaayyyy over paid for him, but he had natural talent so my parents didn't mind. We bought him jumping small cross pole courses. He was really green, but calm and seemed to have a good mind. Boy were we (and my trainer) wrong! Fast forward 10 months, and I have what my trainer calls the pissiest mare she ever saw, and he's a gelding! I have gone through periods of bucking, trying to take off with the bit, spinning, kicking, and more. We are barely getting back into jumping, and even trotting over 2 foot verticals he trys to ran at/over them. Recently he "spooks" at everything going his worse direction because he's annoyed. I can handle that, but when he "spooks" he drops his shoulder, runs sideways untill he thinks I'm unbalanced, then goes the other way.
But, he's not always like that. Some days he's great. He always bends well, he's smooth, he is sensitive to cues, has a great canter. And sometimes he will be calm to all the jumps, jumps them beautifully and does a flying lead change without me even asking for it.
A few months ago he got a new food/diet that has helped a bit, but he's still a pissy mare.
My trainer is amazing, the horses in her barn are nearly always in the ribbons at shows, and she trained a kid/pony that is third in the nation for small greens, with less then half the shows as the first place kid. She understands horses, teaches well, and teaches her riders how to ride anything well. If Painter'snot getting better with her helping, I can't help but lose my confidence in him.
I am also losing confidence in my ability to ride. Once a week I take a lesson on a very green pony, but I have no problem. I can (and have) ridden most of the horses in the barn, from barely broke, to green jumping courses, to bratty spoiled things that "spook" and take off. But I never am worried about coming off and have fun, even when their bad. On Painter, I am waiting to come off any second, I hesitate to the jumps because I can't help but think he'll stop and back, run out the side, or gallop over it. My parents say even though they'll lose money, they'll let me sell him and get something else (most likely green). I love green horses, but Painter is just... different. Even the proffessional has trouble with him, and she's amazing!
Am I giving up if I sell him, or being realistic that he is never going to get better, and I'm just facing more problems if I keep him? Thanks for reading this and sharing your opinions