Going away AGAIN, and worried
 
 

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Going away AGAIN, and worried

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  • Away on holidays worried about horse

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    01-23-2012, 10:02 AM
  #1
Weanling
Going away AGAIN, and worried

OK, I'm probably being ridiculous again, but I am going on vacation and I feel absolutely terrible. My friend really wanted me to go to Florida with her on the March Break. To be honest, I really didn't want to go. The last time I went on vacation with her family, I felt awkward and uncomfortable because they're so unlike my own, and I was also really looking forwards to riding and working with my horses over the Break. My mom has urged me to go, she thinks I'll have a really good time and she told me she'll give me money to go.

But I felt like I've been backed into a corner with this. I told my friend that I can't ask my parents to give me MORE money after everything, and then she replied: "What makes you think you'll have to pay for everything?" (Her dad's makes REALLY good money, and isn't shy about spending it.) Now, I could have told her: "My mom isn't comfortable having you guys pay for everything," but it felt to me like the choices my friend was giving me were: 1) Come to Florida, or 2) I know you don't want to go and don't like me. So I told her I'd go, and I'm trying not to think about it too much until it gets closer, but I am really worrying, like I worry about everything.

Number one, my parents already spend SO much money on me, and I feel awful taking more from them. My mom told me she'd pay for me to go, but my dad has already made me feel sufficiently more guilty than I already did/do, and I'm beginning to regret it. I intend on spending as little as possible and returning everything I don't spend, but..that's hardly consolation.

Number two, is my horses. Middle of March...just about the time for the snow to be breaking up and it to rain every day, especially with the mild winter we've been having so far. So there will be mud, wet, mud, and more mud. Oh, and don't forget the manure that's been frozen all winter starting to melt. I am very concerned about thrush or mud fever or some other moisture-induced infection getting to the horses as I won't be there to clean and take care of them for a week and a half.

Last fall, my pony got into the grain bin and had colic and laminitis (thank god she didn't founder), and at the time she seemed thisclose to dying. Now, even though it was grain-induced, from now on, I am going to be really wary of her getting any sort of rich food at all. Over the winter she's been fine, because they've only had hay to eat, but the closer it gets to spring and the first really green, rich grass comes in, the more I worry. I don't really suppose that if it's muddy and rainy with the snow just breaking up there will be too much rich grass, but any at all is a source of concern for me. We bought her a grazing muzzle, but I don't trust anyone else to properly take care of her. I can't trust for 100% that my dad will put it on her every day (if there is grass to eat), and though I can say with reasonable certainty he'll call the vet if something does happen to her, I honestly never know with dad. But maybe I'm just being paranoid and pessimistic (like always).

Do you think it's likely the horses will get thrush, or mud fever, or anything of that nature if I'm not there for a week and a half? Do you think it's likely my pony will get laminitis again while I'm away? What are the chances that anything at all will happen when I'm not there caring for and exercising and..just being there?

If I didn't have horses, I think I truly would like to go. But seeing that I do, they take priority over everything. I want to have a good time, I want to make the best of it, but I just can't stop worrying
     
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    01-23-2012, 10:17 AM
  #2
Weanling
It's really unfair that you've been stuck in this position, where someone else is paying for you to go and you're not comfortable with it. As you said, you probably would have a really good time if you went, but if you're going to be stressing over your horses welfare while you're gone it will put a damper on things.

Look at the more positive aspects. It won't be until mid-march. This gives you a lot of time to come up with an action plan for your horses. I honestly wouldn't worry about thrush or anything in a week and a half. I also wouldn't worry about the green grasses either.

How often do things go wrong when you are there? Hopefully not that often. And though horses tend the LOOK for ways to hurt themselves, I don't think you have much to worry about. Especially if someone else is checking in on them.

Be positive!
     
    01-23-2012, 04:46 PM
  #3
Weanling
Things have never gone wrong when I wasn't there (not so far as I can remember), and they happen...well, pretty infrequently when I am. We've gone the whole winter without incident, which is a surprise since my horse is a total masochist (KNOCK ON WOOD!!!)

I am just, in general, not a positive person. It's hard for me to just hope for the best, when I reason with myself that I should instead be prepared and expecting the worst.
     
    01-23-2012, 04:50 PM
  #4
Trained
Have you considered asking a horse friend to stop by and check your horses once a day? It'll take a weight off your shoulders and your parent's.
     
    01-23-2012, 05:56 PM
  #5
Green Broke
To me, it sounds like the issue is not just your horses, though I am sure you are concerned, its that you don't want to go.

I would buck up and tell your friend you don't want to go. Mention they money, start off thanking her for how generous her family is, but how you don't feel its acceptable for them to pay, nor do you feel you can hit up your parents. Tell them your father is giving you grief, and really, its just not the best thing to do right now. The timing is all wrong with your horses, and your parents who, in addition to paying, also have to care for the horses is a tricky weather period.

If you can't be honest with your friends then who can you be honest with? If this person will take your refusal to go as you saying you don't want to be friends, then I would reconsider your friendship. Friends are people who you enjoy spending time with, who support each other when needed, but they aren't meant to take up your entire life, and you shouldn't have to tiptoe around them.
Northernstar and mystykat like this.
     
    01-30-2012, 10:05 PM
  #6
Weanling
I just found out we're going for TWO weeks...yeah....greaaat.

I don't even know anymore. I can't back out now. I guess I need to go.
     
    01-30-2012, 10:15 PM
  #7
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllThePrettyHorses    
I just found out we're going for TWO weeks...yeah....greaaat.

I don't even know anymore. I can't back out now. I guess I need to go.
Every single instinct you have is telling you "This is simply not the right time for me to go, nor do I want to in the first place".
Two words of comfort : It's Okay!!!!!
The whole world will not shatter if you do not go - there is nothing more miserable than being coerced into going on a vacation against one's will, and it seems you'll be so much happier if you stay, enjoy your horses, and maybe during this time at home, treat yourself to something pleasant that you'll enjoy :)
     
    01-30-2012, 10:42 PM
  #8
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saskia    
To me, it sounds like the issue is not just your horses, though I am sure you are concerned, its that you don't want to go.

I would buck up and tell your friend you don't want to go. Mention they money, start off thanking her for how generous her family is, but how you don't feel its acceptable for them to pay, nor do you feel you can hit up your parents. Tell them your father is giving you grief, and really, its just not the best thing to do right now. The timing is all wrong with your horses, and your parents who, in addition to paying, also have to care for the horses is a tricky weather period.

If you can't be honest with your friends then who can you be honest with? If this person will take your refusal to go as you saying you don't want to be friends, then I would reconsider your friendship. Friends are people who you enjoy spending time with, who support each other when needed, but they aren't meant to take up your entire life, and you shouldn't have to tiptoe around them.
ITA -- OP, you don't want to go, don't be bullied into doing so.
     
    01-30-2012, 11:32 PM
  #9
Trained
Just say no I have responsibilities that require my being home with my
Horses
Does your friend have horses too
     
    01-30-2012, 11:58 PM
  #10
Started
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllThePrettyHorses    
I just found out we're going for TWO weeks...yeah....greaaat.

I don't even know anymore. I can't back out now. I guess I need to go.
You could always tell her you only can go for one week and spend the other with your horse. That way your friend is happy and so are you even if that week is still awkward/uncomfortable you can ask your friend if she wants to do things with just you two and you could spend some time with her family before hand so you get used to them. That said if you don't feel comfortable going, don't go.
     

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