How do you say goodbye to your best friend? I found out this morning that Junior, the horse I have been riding for the past year, the horse I call mine even though he never really was, is being sold. It is no one's fault. It probably isn't goodbye forever, but things won't be the same.
Junior taught me everything about horses. He taught me to not be afraid and that I could be good enough. He was not only my best friend, he was my savior. He came to me at a time in my life when I was in desperate need of help.
I have started writing a story about our journey together and here it is:
At one point in every equestrians life one special horse presents itself. Most of the time that horse comes at a time when you need them the most. They enter your life, whether be it for a long time or short, and change it forever. I found that one special horse in the summer of 2008, I was 16 and he was 19. At that time in my life I wasn't doing so well. For as long as I can remember I have loved horses, but sadly I am one of few horselovers in my family. I had been riding off and on for years but had recently come out of a three year period of hell in the saddle. My trainer and I did not see eye to eye and so I finally quit and left behind my beloved lesson horse. After six months of no contact with horses I was hitting rock bottom. My depression had become so bad that suicide was beginning to sound more and more like the answer. Like a normal teenage girl I was struggling with school, work, boys and friends and just didn't fell like doing any of it anymore. Horses had always been my release and at the point in my life when I needed them the most, they were gone. That was when I met my savior. He came to me in the form of a 19 year old, chestnut Thoroughbred gelding called Junior, he stood at 16hh and though he wasn't the most amazing looking horse in the world, he was absolutely the most beautiful horse to me. Like me he had been given a hard time in life lately and needed someone to believe in him. I only came across him by sheer luck. I had been searching the interenet horse ads and came across his ad. After speaking to his owner, who would later become a good friend, she afreed to allow me to come and ride him, just until he sold. I remember the first day I met him clearly. My father, who is anti-horse, took me to see him. I was sos scarred from my past riding experiences that he terrified me at first. Of course I didn't give up there and was out to ride him for the first time within the next couple of days. Little did I know that meeting him would change my life in more ways than one.
I have made the decision to discontinue riding for a while at least. I don't want to even think about riding another horse at the time being. I just wanted to let everyone know the news.
Finding a way to cope is the hard part, and in my heart I know that things have to get worse before they can get better.
I will miss you Juneyboy!
Someday I will find a way to get you back. If anyone would be willing to do any type of art for him to remember him by that would be greatly appreciated!