Guilty Vent about Noah... - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 15 Old 11-09-2009, 11:56 AM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Guilty Vent about Noah...

Just a vent (frustrated with myself more than the horse...)

Well, Noah went with his new Mom and Dad on Saturday. I really, really have high hopes for him in his new situation. They really seem to get his attention and make him listen. Noah actually FOLLOWED the husband down the driveway to load in the trailer. I was shocked! He runs over me almost every time I lead him, and he's done it repeatedly to three different trainers! For his new owners, he's not very intimidating. They have an 18h Perch gelding that sounds like an even bigger handful than Noah!

Last week, right after we made the sale on Noah, he knocked me flat out on the concrete asile. I was trying to wash a cut that he had gotten on his behind. Since he freaked being cross-tied or single tied (and decided that the hose is now out of the question), I had my fiance hold him on a lead while I bucket washed his cut. He was fine until halfway through when he suddenly decided that he was done standing and wanted me to get away from him. He started chasing me with his hind-end to push me out of his space. I looked down for a second to make sure we weren't going to trip over the bucket, and his rear slammed me in the side taking me down on the ground. I knew that was going to happen one day. I was furious and took him into the indoor to make him walk through the obstacles, back up, etc. to again reinforce the fact that I am in charge. He just looks at you like "whatever, are we done now?" Ugh, I was upset and frustrated so I tried to make the week easier on myself and went to the barn as little as possible. Saturday morning came when he was being picked up, and I went over early to clean him up before his new owners came. When I first tied him, he was fine. Halfway through our grooming, he decided he was done again and as I turned to pick up another brush, he walked over as far as the tie would let him, then swung his butt and pinned me against the stall door. If you're near the front of him, he'll use his head to slam you until you're out of his space. If you're at his side, he'll use his shoulder, near his back end he uses his butt. He never seemed overly aggressive, just using as much force as he needed to in order to get his own way. He had absolutely no fear or respect for anyone, and was completely disinterested in people. It broke my heart that he never showed the slightest bit of affection towards me and he hated when I touched him for too long. He just had this wall up around himself and kept everyone out.

Of course, I was upset when he left. But, I felt really guilty on Saturday for not being more upset than I was. I felt relieved that he was gone, which made me cry even more. I feel like I gave up on him and failed, then took the easy way out by getting rid of him. I know that if I hadn't gotten him, he would have ended up at auction a few days later. I keep reminding myself that I got him healthy, got his weight up, and found him a perfect home. I just feel crappy. Everyone keeps telling me that not every horse is a good match and I know they're right. I don't regret the decision to sell him, I just regret the way the entire situation turned out...

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post #2 of 15 Old 11-09-2009, 12:03 PM
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...Sometimes one person and one horse simply do not get along...

I have a mare, well, she belongs to my mom, we have a mutual disrespect for each other. She actually knocked me on my butt just yesterday. I insist she's an evil wicked witch. She probably thinks the same of me. As far as she is concerned I am merely the groom, there to feed her, care for her, clean up after her, and put a blanket on her if she's cold. Nothing more....

"Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy"
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post #3 of 15 Old 11-09-2009, 12:14 PM
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Like you said you two didn't fit.. and that happens. I am thankful (and you should be too) that you were able to help him out and find him a great home.

Also keep in mind that you are very little compared to him. Thank goodness he didn't really hurt you in any of his "actions" which are totally not ok. (I would have carried a crop around with me-not sure if that was an option for you) I know you know that him doing those things weren't good so please don't think I am shaking my finger at you at all

Keep your head up and just hope that YOUR perfect or close to perfect horse come down the road to you sooner then later!

:: Karley ::
Tucker WB/TB- 11 yr
Speedy QH/TB- 22 yr
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post #4 of 15 Old 11-09-2009, 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted by farmpony84 View Post
...Sometimes one person and one horse simply do not get along...
Truer words have not been spoken!
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post #5 of 15 Old 11-09-2009, 12:20 PM Thread Starter
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LOL! Crops didn't make much of an impact on him! That's what unsettled me more than anything. I think you could have probably beat the snot out of him with as much strength as you have, and he wouldn't pay any attention to you. There were several times that I tried the overzealous face rubbing to make him stop head butting me. Over and over again, it did nothing to change his mind about getting in my space. I would carry a crop, whip or carrot stick, especially when I was leading him. He paid zero attention to it. Did the same thing when he would swing his butt. Once he decided that he wanted something different than what you were asking him to do, he was going to get his way by any means possible. I think he was bored and didn't want to be bothered doing the things I wanted to do (grooming, riding in the ring etc).

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post #6 of 15 Old 11-09-2009, 12:30 PM
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You did the right thing hon. I felt the same with Carolina. I put months of hard work putting weight on her, trying to get her less afraid and healthy. But she ended up getting me to the point I dreaded going to the barn and resented her.

I cried when the new owner took her, but I felt so relieved. I thought that when I got to know CoCo it would be the same. I would end up fighting with her all the time. But it couldn't be further from the truth. CoCo is amazing, the kind of horse that is giving me back my confidence and showing me it's ok. I enjoy going to the barn again, I enjoy just being there brushing her. Who could ever guess a 4 year old ex-racehorse would be the one to heal me???

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

~CoCo 17hh 4 yo OTTB~
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post #7 of 15 Old 11-09-2009, 12:37 PM Thread Starter
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Yesterday was the first day that I had fun at the barn in a long time... I rode the BOs haflinger on a trail ride and decided that he will be my surrogate best friend until I find another horse. We had a spa day after our trail ride, hand grazed on the lawn, and he got to hang out in Noah's old stall in a cooler three time too big with lots of hay and his dinner after his bath. He doesn't get worked very much since he's too strong for beginer students, but he's perfect for me! My BO kept joking that he'll never want to go back to the life of a lesson pony again!

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post #8 of 15 Old 11-09-2009, 12:58 PM
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will she let you buy him?

:: Karley ::
Tucker WB/TB- 11 yr
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post #9 of 15 Old 11-09-2009, 01:08 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by kchfuller View Post
will she let you buy him?
LOL! I'm sure she would!! He's a little small for me (I'm 5'7") and he's as wide as he is tall!! He's a great little guy for me to ride w/o stirrups and work on my seat, and he's a ton of fun, but not really what I'm looking for long term. But, if I don't find my new guy right away, I'll probably lease him for a little while.

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post #10 of 15 Old 11-09-2009, 01:10 PM
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sounds like he learned he is bigger then you. I have 2 that have realized they are bigger then me. It's a bad thing when that happens....

"Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy"
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