I really wish I lived near a place that I could go to, but that seems to be a part of the problem.
I don't really have the problem of being too nice I don't think, as I do own a stallion who was my first horse, and you need to show him who is boss. With my filly it is different. I do wish I could ride her, but anything would be an improvement at this point. She wasn't taught to lead very well when she was young. I think it was just enough to get her from place to place on the farm, but they didn't do anything to make her respect space or anything like that. She walks all over me, runs into me, and tilts her head and tries pulling away. When I am trying to just make her stand, she'll constantly fidget and move around, pivoting her butt away and rubbing on me. She's a lot better in the pasture, but the moment you take her outside the fence, she turns into a completely different horse. She won't stand still for longer than ten seconds, and out of nowhere she'll spook at nothing and start trotting or cantering in a circle as if I'm lunging her. This is what she does the whole time I have her out, and it is never a pleasant experience. I can do nothing with her, nothing at all.
So I give up and put her back in the pasture. She wins.
I wish I had the room for even a cheap round pen, but it would take up too much space in our pasture.
This whole experience has done some good though, I'll admit. It made me give myself a kick in the butt as to what I want to do in my life. I want to become a trainer, and eventually own my own facility where I can train, show, and breed quality horses. It will take some time, but this is what I want to do. I've already started looking at a bunch of places that offer online courses without taking the typical college classes that don't offer me very much. I can't relocate, so this is my best option.
I am going to do this.
I would rather stand near the birds, than spend my whole life wishing I had wings.