Have you ever lost "it"?
   

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Have you ever lost "it"?

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        03-09-2009, 02:26 PM
      #1
    Foal
    Have you ever lost "it"?

    I used to be the most hardcore horse enthusiast. My life revolved around my horse. I enjoyed every aspect of it not just competing, but cleaning stalls, getting ready for a show, cleaning tack, reading anything I could get my hands on about horses - anything. But since I have finished college and become a mom, I just lost something. I tried getting myself and my horse back in shape. I tried a few shows. Everything seems like work or an unnessary expense, and I just don't enjoy any of it like I used to.

    I don't find myself depressed in other aspects of my life - in fact I am very happy with my life. Have I moved on?

    Have you ever had this happen? How did you deal? How do I get that love back? My hope now is that my daughter is absolutely infatuated with animals and being outside. We still have the horses, and plan to try a few more shows this year - not giving up yet!
         
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        03-09-2009, 02:41 PM
      #2
    Trained
    I was the opposite. I was only riding like once a week until I got the opportunity to show. Now I ride like 5 times a week. I need to be working towards some sort of goal (aside from training) or else I get bored.
    I'm currently working on getting into shows, and we have been doing conditioning for maybe doing a LDR. There is a horse "obstacle" course I am taking him to that we're going to try to defeat.
    All of this makes me want to ride more.
         
        03-09-2009, 02:44 PM
      #3
    Trained
    I sort of went through something like this...

    In high school I loved doing anything with horses just as you described. Any opportunity I had to do something with or about horses I took advantage of.

    Then, my Senior year in high school got really busy. I had to work two jobs all summer to save up money for college, and then the school year was of course filled with tons of activities and applying to colleges etc. I found myself unable to do all of the fun things with my horses and then not long after I found myself not really wanting to do much of it at all. It just wasn't fun all by myself with them all the time anymore (I have them at home). I enjoyed it more when I had people to go on trail rides with or just ride around the arena with. (I used to have them out at my 4-H barn)

    I missed my horses and other animals when I went to college, but even when I went home I just wasn't as into it as I was. I now have a boyfriend who enjoys doing things with them with me and I have gotten back into it a little more. Not nearly as much as I used to still, but I think it is coming back. I just needed a bit of a change again I think.

    I have chalked a lot of it up to the "out of sight out of mind" kind of thing for myself. I saw them a lot when I was living at home still, but I didn't have time to have fun with them. Now when I get to see them and do things with them regularly I want to do it more. This forum has actually inspired me a lot to get back into it more as well. I have found new things to try with them to spice it up a little bit. Also, the people here are wonderful. There are so many here that are encouraging and friendly. When I share pictures, questions or accomplishments I always get kind words, so I think that has taken the place of my 4-H buddies I used to ride with. That's another thing, I also find that when I accomplish things with them (teach them a trick, have a really good training session with the young one etc) I want to do more. So, maybe try something new with them? Go somewhere new for a trail ride, or try a discipline or trick you have never tried? It might help. It's worth a shot!

    I don't know if this helps at all, but know that you are not alone!
         
        03-09-2009, 02:56 PM
      #4
    Foal
    I think you have a good point with not having anyone to ride with. My parents ran a boarding facility when I was growing up so there was always someone to share the fun or grunt work with. I have my horses at my place now and am still somewhat new to the area. Hopefully I will make some riding buddies showing this year and maybe the competitive bug will strike again. Thank you both for your help. It's might be the push I need.
         
        03-09-2009, 07:48 PM
      #5
    Foal
    I know how you feel. I was a rabid horse teen, my job in high school was training dressage horses. I took two lessons a day, after riding 4 to 6 horses. I lived horses.

    I am now the mother of two, been through a divorce, and to very nasty relationships, and an accident that almost killed me. I am with a wonderful man now, and I have a great horse. I just don't feel it right now.

    I love my horse, and had thought about selling her, but I quite literally started having chest pains. I was on the verge of a heart attack when I had people out looking at her. I spose I will keep her.

    Is this something we will grow back into? Maybe sharing with someone, and not having life responsibilities to take out the spark would help?

    I dunno. *shrug*

    One of these days, I will own a boarding facility so my property can pay for itself for the most part, and I can have riding buddies.
         
        03-09-2009, 08:38 PM
      #6
    Weanling
    I think its natural for your passion to ebb and flow. Unless you are a very lucky individual who never has to worry about money or school, chances are that you'll find that at times you get so busy with life that its hard to justify riding-especially if you're a new mom. I knw I go through periods like this. I'm a full time student, and I work part time. This means that on a GOOD week, I go 50-55 hours a week. And I'm trying to juggle riding 2 horses. It does get exhausting. And there have been times when I've wanted to entirely quit, because I lost any passion whatsoever and it became a chore.
    My advice is to take a break. It won't hurt your horse any. Take a break, put him out to pasture and see if you miss it in the next couple of months.
    If you do, than you can get started again. If not, then maybe decide that at this point in your life, having a horse isn't for you anymore
         
        03-10-2009, 07:51 AM
      #7
    Showing
    I think that Skyhuntress is right, you may just need a break. When I was still living at home, taking care of all the horses and dogs was my responsibility. My brother graduated and left home when I was 14 and then all the chores fell on me to do. My Dad had just been elected sheriff and was working horrendous hours so there was no one else. Having to get up in the morning, go feed and water, go to school, come home, either ride my young horses or load up and go check cattle, come home, feed and water again, clean up, go inside, do homework, go to bed and do the exact same thing tomorrow got really old after about 3 years. I just got burned out and had to literally force myself to go to the barn. After I graduated and moved away to go to college, it struck me about 4 months into it that I hadn't been on a horse or even around one in 4 months and I started jonesing again. Now I go home every chance I get because it only averages out to about 8 days a month that I get to ride. I think you just need a break. Like SH said, just turn him out for a while and give you both a vacation. You know what they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" LOL.
         
        03-10-2009, 05:07 PM
      #8
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jane Honda    
    I know how you feel. I was a rabid horse teen, my job in high school was training dressage horses. I took two lessons a day, after riding 4 to 6 horses. I lived horses.

    I am now the mother of two, been through a divorce, and to very nasty relationships, and an accident that almost killed me. I am with a wonderful man now, and I have a great horse. I just don't feel it right now.

    I love my horse, and had thought about selling her, but I quite literally started having chest pains. I was on the verge of a heart attack when I had people out looking at her. I spose I will keep her.

    Is this something we will grow back into? Maybe sharing with someone, and not having life responsibilities to take out the spark would help?

    I dunno. *shrug*

    One of these days, I will own a boarding facility so my property can pay for itself for the most part, and I can have riding buddies.
    Sorry you've had such a tough streak. I suppose this is part of growing up - reassessing priorities, putting other parts of life first...? Hope you get that spark back too.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Skyhuntress    
    i think its natural for your passion to ebb and flow. Unless you are a very lucky individual who never has to worry about money or school, chances are that you'll find that at times you get so busy with life that its hard to justify riding-especially if you're a new mom. I knw I go through periods like this. I'm a full time student, and I work part time. This means that on a GOOD week, I go 50-55 hours a week. And I'm trying to juggle riding 2 horses. It does get exhausting. And there have been times when I've wanted to entirely quit, because I lost any passion whatsoever and it became a chore.
    My advice is to take a break. It won't hurt your horse any. Take a break, put him out to pasture and see if you miss it in the next couple of months.
    If you do, than you can get started again. If not, then maybe decide that at this point in your life, having a horse isn't for you anymore
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smrobs    
    I think that Skyhuntress is right, you may just need a break. When I was still living at home, taking care of all the horses and dogs was my responsibility. My brother graduated and left home when I was 14 and then all the chores fell on me to do. My Dad had just been elected sheriff and was working horrendous hours so there was no one else. Having to get up in the morning, go feed and water, go to school, come home, either ride my young horses or load up and go check cattle, come home, feed and water again, clean up, go inside, do homework, go to bed and do the exact same thing tomorrow got really old after about 3 years. I just got burned out and had to literally force myself to go to the barn. After I graduated and moved away to go to college, it struck me about 4 months into it that I hadn't been on a horse or even around one in 4 months and I started jonesing again. Now I go home every chance I get because it only averages out to about 8 days a month that I get to ride. I think you just need a break. Like SH said, just turn him out for a while and give you both a vacation. You know what they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" LOL.
    I've had a break for 2 years now almost - I mean I've rode occassionally and my horses are in a large pen with covered barns so I do have to throw them hay, but it's not like I have to clean stalls or do turnout daily. And I have time if I make it (I only work part time as a photographer). Some days, I would just rather not...

    I do feel like I've had a little bit of a breakthrough the last couple of days. I decided to help out with the local 4-H horse group this past winter and they are starting to get into the swing of things - seeing kids excited - you can't help but get excited. And since the weather is finally getting nice, I've been taking my daughter out to "ride" a lot and brush horses. It was nice to give them their first baths of the year. It is pretty cold today and I actually woke up this morning wandering what we were going to do since it was too chilly to mess with the horses. I have also found a youth to share my "old" passion with (and some travel expense) so now I have a riding pal and maybe I won't feel like horse shows will be such a financial burden. Oh well, here goes...Thanks for the advice and encouraging words.
         
        03-11-2009, 12:47 PM
      #9
    Trained
    It sounds like you area headed in the right direction.

    Good luck! Just relax and enjoy :)
         

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