Heart Horse, how do you know?? - Page 3 - The Horse Forum

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post #21 of 50 Old 10-11-2011, 06:14 AM
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In summary... A heart horse isn't waiting out there in the pasture to bond with its destined human. We make heart horses. Humans initiate the bonding process.
Not sure if I agree with that I worked with over 50 horses, most of them never left, at a trail riding farm for two years. I did my best to give them all one-on-one attention, and although they enjoyed my company, they didn't fit with me like Indie does.
I rode these horses, worked with them, fed them, groomed them, and knew them inside and out and could tell half of them apart just by looking at hoofprints on the trail I did love them all, but none of them could connect and read me as well as Indie has.

So yes, humans start the bonding process, but it's the horse that decides to continue it or not. But at least that's my opinion.
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post #22 of 50 Old 10-11-2011, 07:25 AM
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You get out of a relationship, with an animal or human, what you put into it. Obviously certain people will "click" with certain horses and if you put that kind of emotional investment into an animal you like and get on with, it's no surprise that you will feel a strong connection or "bond" with it. I like that experiment with the kittens described above -- very illuminating! I too have worked at barns and worked with lots of different horses and never have had the same connection with them as I do with my horse. Duh. I rode and cared for those horses because I was being paid to do it, but certainly did not put in anywhere near the same emotional energy into it that I have invested in my own horse over the years and consequently, didn't have -- or want -- that same connection, even though some of them were sweet, friendly horses.

Last edited by thesilverspear; 10-11-2011 at 07:30 AM.
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post #23 of 50 Old 10-11-2011, 08:29 AM
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Originally Posted by thesilverspear View Post
You get out of a relationship, with an animal or human, what you put into it. Obviously certain people will "click" with certain horses and if you put that kind of emotional investment into an animal you like and get on with, it's no surprise that you will feel a strong connection or "bond" with it. I like that experiment with the kittens described above -- very illuminating! I too have worked at barns and worked with lots of different horses and never have had the same connection with them as I do with my horse. Duh. I rode and cared for those horses because I was being paid to do it, but certainly did not put in anywhere near the same emotional energy into it that I have invested in my own horse over the years and consequently, didn't have -- or want -- that same connection, even though some of them were sweet, friendly horses.
Still I must disgress. I had no investment or interaction with my mare previously, and yet there was still that perfect moment when I saw her. I had done the same thing with multiple horses I had gone out to look to buy, ranging from Qh's, to paints, to even a lovely paso fino, but when I laid eyes on Indie and she tilted her ears to me, that was the click.

This thread isn't for arguing though, not everyone will agree, so I'll agree to disagree
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post #24 of 50 Old 10-11-2011, 09:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Brighteyes View Post
In summary... A heart horse isn't waiting out there in the pasture to bond with its destined human. We make heart horses. Humans initiate the bonding process.
I'm going to have to disagree with you there.

My heart horse knew the moment he saw me that I belonged to him. It took me about a month to realize what he already knew.

I didn't like him, didn't want anything to do with him, but he was immediately smitten. He'd follow me down the fence line, whickering softly to me. Whenever I'd look in his direction he'd be staring at me, head up, ears pricked, and eyes bright.

How do you NOT respond to something like that?

We had our ups and downs, and he wasn't the easiest horse in the world to ride, but he had my back and he knew I had his. We were each other's courage, and together we were more than each of us was separately.

We quite simply adored each other, and the day I had to let him go my hand was on his neck, and my voice was in his ears. I told him it was okay to go, and I'd be fine; he could rest. He visibly relaxed when I said that, and didn't fight the euthanasia drugs.

I love my other horses, but none will be like Conny. JJ comes the closest, although Casper is a close second. Casper picked me as his human too, but I think it's a bum deal for him. He so desperately wants to be my one and only, but as much as I love him, the bond isn't the same.

So no, it's not always the human who initiates the bond.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #25 of 50 Old 10-11-2011, 10:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Speed Racer View Post
...but he was immediately smitten. He'd follow me down the fence line, whickering softly to me. Whenever I'd look in his direction he'd be staring at me, head up, ears pricked, and eyes bright.
SR - I loved your entire post, but this really caught my attention. This was my Vanna, to a tee. She might not have been immediately smitten due to her extreme distrust of humans, but she came along quickly and within days, she was waiting for me and watching my every move.
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post #26 of 50 Old 10-11-2011, 11:02 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Tianimalz View Post
This thread isn't for arguing though, not everyone will agree, so I'll agree to disagree
This is a thread where I don't believe that there is one 'right' answer, and it's perfectly fine for everyone to have different views on this.

There certainly is something in the fact that who ever I'm working with becomes closer to me, well there are exceptions to that, I have one mare that I just cannot get any rapport with at all, and her yearling and I have the same relationship, whatever it is they need from me I just don't seem to have.

Appy Gilmore is the horse I ride most, who carried me from a spectator to a rider, who gave me my confidence back, but *whispers* don't tell him, but I love him more with my head than my heart, if anyone can understand that.

Bert I have always struggled with, I have been scared of her a lot of the time, and with good reason, seeing as she would try and kick me, she has tried to bite, she would barge through me on the ground, just a real pain in the butt. The fact that she now will follow me without a halter, that she tries her best, that she will come and have smoochies just melts my heart each and every time.


SR, I loved your post as well
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post #27 of 50 Old 10-11-2011, 11:10 AM
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Thanks, ladies. Conny was my anchor. The day I lost him, I lost more than just a horse. When Conny died, he took a piece of my soul with him. That was okay though, because that piece always belonged to him.

I know exactly what you mean Golden, when you say you love a horse more in your head than your heart.

The 'heart horses' don't just have a place in your heart, they fill it up. There's room for others in it, but they by far take up the majority of the space. Whether or not it's right or wrong, I don't know; it just IS.

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post #28 of 50 Old 10-11-2011, 12:12 PM
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I don't know, folks. I love all my animals and can't say "this one is more "heart animal" than other". They are all different, and I have different feeling for each, but it's always extremely hard for me when one dies.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass: it's about learning to dance in the rain..."

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
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post #29 of 50 Old 10-11-2011, 12:17 PM
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Then you've never had a heart horse the way I think of it, Val.

I mourn every animal I lose, but I was completely and utterly devastated when I lost Conny. It took me several years before I could even say his name without bursting into tears.

I really had no idea how I was supposed to go on with my life without him. I'd identified so much with being HIS owner, rider, companion, and caregiver, that when he was gone I didn't know who I was without him.

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post #30 of 50 Old 10-11-2011, 12:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Speed Racer View Post
The 'heart horses' don't just have a place in your heart, they fill it up. There's room for others in it, but they by far take up the majority of the space. Whether or not it's right or wrong, I don't know; it just IS.
This has got to be the most eloquent expression of what a 'heart horse' is, that I have ever heard. SR, I applaud your ability to express it so clearly and so definitively.
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