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Hello, new here and confidence issues

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        12-12-2011, 06:10 PM
      #11
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Duren    
    If I didnt have any issues before, I sure do now after watching that video...
    Yes, mentally reliving it everyday is starting to grind me down.
         
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        12-12-2011, 06:22 PM
      #12
    Trained
    First, Pyrrhic, **OOODLES OF HUGS** I've been there. First my 6yo grade gelding bucked me off--9 feet in the air--and my fall broke my right humerous. It happened in May and blew my 2004 riding season. Then I tried several horses and missed being dragged when a gelding that I tried without stirrups bucked when I squeezed from a walk to a trot. (I was bruised, but not broken--I renamed that horse, "Alpo.") I have been very leary of horses I don't know for several years now. You get older and accidents just beat the courage out of you, it seems.
    I think the horse that will bring you back is going to be a middle aged super calm, kid-safe-type lesson horse. I'm thinking that if you find a stable that has a few of these, and an instructor who truly understands just how slow you need to start, you might find a wonderful mount. They do sell their lesson horses.
    In training in my two 5yo geldings I've tried to replicate what made my string of lesson horses so reliable. I realized that every horse was ridden over 1,000 hours/year. There is no way that one person can put in that many hours. But a lesson horse does put in that much time. I am sure that you could tolerate bad habits that are not dangerous. The lesson horse that was my favorite as a teenager would pull the reins out of your hands while you waited in line during lessons, but he never reared, bucked or ran off with anybody, and he'd wait forever for you to mount--stuff like that is tolerable.
    I'll be happy to follow this thread. I REALLY wish you well, and pray for a complete physical AND mental healing! =D
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        12-12-2011, 06:22 PM
      #13
    Started
    Congrats on calling them. I love how determined you are to help yourself. It shows how strong you really are!!!

    Good luck :)
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        12-12-2011, 06:51 PM
      #14
    Showing
    You should relax.. find ways to relax. Do things that make you feel good.

    It's so normal to feel such anxiety! But you have to find a way to control that anxiety.. I used to get sooo scared when I rode at a lesson because I felt like I was being judged and I would fail and what not. Obviously nothing compared to what you went through, but I started to leave myself little sticky notes around and house that had positive phrases on them like "you can do it" "breathe!" "you are amazing" "it'll be okay!" and it helped me a lot.

    Also meditating, yoga, listening to soft music.. munching on chips to spare my finger nails :P

    You can do this! And if you ever need to talk, I'm here too :)

    Good luck *hugs*
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        12-12-2011, 07:14 PM
      #15
    Yearling
    Just wanted to wish you well, and offer that therapeutic riding centers are wonderful places, as either a participating client or volunteer. I have been involved as a volunteer with two top notch places over the years.

    I would recommend that when you go to the barn, ask to meet an experienced volunteer to "shadow" him/her for a couple of days. You want the person who knows the horses' personalities and can tell you, "oh, Tinkerbelle will try to get away with pulling her foot away when you clean it," or, "Secret is perfectly happy being groomed and led around on the leadline when you need to calm yourself down." A fellow volunteer who's been there awhile can talk to you about the routines of the barn and help alleviate some of that newcomer anxiety in a way that maybe the program director or barn manager can't. Ask lots of questions. See if one of the experienced volunteers will give you an email/phone number in case you have follow-up questions after you've gone to the barn a couple of times. I suggest all these things because this is what I offer to new volunteers when I join the volunteer trainings, and I'm always thrilled when someone is interested enough to take me up on it!

    Also, know that volunteering in a lesson doesn't require you to lead/handle the horse if you don't want to. Depending on the individual rider's needs, therapeutic lessons often require one leader/horse handler, and 1-2 "sidewalkers" who hover alongside the horse near the rider's legs to provide additional stability/support if needed. So, you could be near the horse without being in control, and because your focus and attention belongs on the rider, it may take your mind off any nerves you have about being so close to the horse. Obviously you don't have to do that until you're ready, but I thought I would mention the different ways to participate in the lesson.

    Good luck!
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        12-12-2011, 11:45 PM
      #16
    Foal
    I moved from there two years ago& I grew up there(: there is definitely not alot of horses or horse barns up there at all . If you go closer to the mountains that's where they all are . Wayyy out of the city . I remember there was a big barn with a ton of horses on a road where marc kahre elementry was on . They had white pipe fencing . Im not sure what part of vegas you live in , but if its in the city its really hard to find horsey stuff there . I have confidence issues too since I have a green horse , ( of course I've never had anything that traumatic happen to me) I just learn to ride it out& listen to the horse . He'll tell me everything I need to know(:
    I think you should find a barn with a supportive trainer that will help you conquer your fears with a verryy broke horse . Good luckk(;
    Posted via Mobile Device
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        12-13-2011, 01:36 AM
      #17
    Super Moderator
    Pyhric,

    I just had a thought. I wonder if you made a total change in your riding style and took up western riding, if that wouldnt' help to divorce you from those old memories and feeling that are haunting you. The horses generally are more "broke" and you have that horn and the bigger saddle, and the overall attitude is on of being more relaxed.
    Also, as you learned this new style of riding, you'd have to think more about changing old body memorey of the way you sit or hold the rein, and keeping your mind busy on this would keep it from going into the land of "What if?".
    Corporal, arrowsaway and Pyrrhic like this.
         
        12-13-2011, 02:01 AM
      #18
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tinyliny    
    Pyhric,

    I just had a thought. I wonder if you made a total change in your riding style and took up western riding, if that wouldnt' help to divorce you from those old memories and feeling that are haunting you. The horses generally are more "broke" and you have that horn and the bigger saddle, and the overall attitude is on of being more relaxed.
    Also, as you learned this new style of riding, you'd have to think more about changing old body memorey of the way you sit or hold the rein, and keeping your mind busy on this would keep it from going into the land of "What if?".
    Funny you should mention that, I actually started off riding western as a child, then converted to English and have ridden English most of my life. However last year I was riding a friend's mare in a western trail saddle even though she was english trained (the saddle was a barefoot cheyenne treeless used for comfort) and it did make me feel more secure.

    The only thing holding me back is that I love english riding, but then maybe I should try western riding for awhile until I get more confident. You're right that my brain would have to think differently.
         
        12-13-2011, 02:03 AM
      #19
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by meghanlovee11    
    i moved from there two years ago& I grew up there(: there is definitely not alot of horses or horse barns up there at all . If you go closer to the mountains that's where they all are . Wayyy out of the city . I remember there was a big barn with a ton of horses on a road where marc kahre elementry was on . They had white pipe fencing . Im not sure what part of vegas you live in , but if its in the city its really hard to find horsey stuff there . I have confidence issues too since I have a green horse , ( of course I've never had anything that traumatic happen to me) I just learn to ride it out& listen to the horse . He'll tell me everything I need to know(:
    I think you should find a barn with a supportive trainer that will help you conquer your fears with a verryy broke horse . Good luckk(;
    Posted via Mobile Device
    I'm in the North West area. Are there any places you'd recommend or say to avoid? The therapy place I'm going to volunteer at is Dream Therapies if you've heard of it.

    I'm still very new, so don't know what barn would be near that school.

    Thanks for the good luck wishes
         
        12-13-2011, 02:05 AM
      #20
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by egrogan    
    Just wanted to wish you well, and offer that therapeutic riding centers are wonderful places, as either a participating client or volunteer. I have been involved as a volunteer with two top notch places over the years.

    I would recommend that when you go to the barn, ask to meet an experienced volunteer to "shadow" him/her for a couple of days. You want the person who knows the horses' personalities and can tell you, "oh, Tinkerbelle will try to get away with pulling her foot away when you clean it," or, "Secret is perfectly happy being groomed and led around on the leadline when you need to calm yourself down." A fellow volunteer who's been there awhile can talk to you about the routines of the barn and help alleviate some of that newcomer anxiety in a way that maybe the program director or barn manager can't. Ask lots of questions. See if one of the experienced volunteers will give you an email/phone number in case you have follow-up questions after you've gone to the barn a couple of times. I suggest all these things because this is what I offer to new volunteers when I join the volunteer trainings, and I'm always thrilled when someone is interested enough to take me up on it!

    Also, know that volunteering in a lesson doesn't require you to lead/handle the horse if you don't want to. Depending on the individual rider's needs, therapeutic lessons often require one leader/horse handler, and 1-2 "sidewalkers" who hover alongside the horse near the rider's legs to provide additional stability/support if needed. So, you could be near the horse without being in control, and because your focus and attention belongs on the rider, it may take your mind off any nerves you have about being so close to the horse. Obviously you don't have to do that until you're ready, but I thought I would mention the different ways to participate in the lesson.

    Good luck!
    Thanks, that's really helpful. I'll keep you guys updated with how it goes. Just trying to sort a babysitter out for my daughter and then at least that's one less thing to worry about.

    I think as well that helping other will help me focus less on how I'm feeling too and hopefully I'll just get on with it and not realise that I am making progress.
         

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