Hello, new here and confidence issues - Page 3 - The Horse Forum

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post #21 of 42 Old 12-13-2011, 01:47 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Skyseternalangel View Post
You should relax.. find ways to relax. Do things that make you feel good.

It's so normal to feel such anxiety! But you have to find a way to control that anxiety.. I used to get sooo scared when I rode at a lesson because I felt like I was being judged and I would fail and what not. Obviously nothing compared to what you went through, but I started to leave myself little sticky notes around and house that had positive phrases on them like "you can do it" "breathe!" "you are amazing" "it'll be okay!" and it helped me a lot.

Also meditating, yoga, listening to soft music.. munching on chips to spare my finger nails :P

You can do this! And if you ever need to talk, I'm here too :)

Good luck *hugs*
You're so right, I do need to relax. It's just easier said than done! I think something like meditation and listening to music would work for me. Yoga....not sure as that involves going to a class. Haha I'm terrible!

Missing Freya (05.28.05 - 09.30.11)
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever
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post #22 of 42 Old 12-13-2011, 01:51 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Corporal View Post
First, Pyrrhic, **OOODLES OF HUGS** I've been there. First my 6yo grade gelding bucked me off--9 feet in the air--and my fall broke my right humerous. It happened in May and blew my 2004 riding season. Then I tried several horses and missed being dragged when a gelding that I tried without stirrups bucked when I squeezed from a walk to a trot. (I was bruised, but not broken--I renamed that horse, "Alpo.") I have been very leary of horses I don't know for several years now. You get older and accidents just beat the courage out of you, it seems.
I think the horse that will bring you back is going to be a middle aged super calm, kid-safe-type lesson horse. I'm thinking that if you find a stable that has a few of these, and an instructor who truly understands just how slow you need to start, you might find a wonderful mount. They do sell their lesson horses.
In training in my two 5yo geldings I've tried to replicate what made my string of lesson horses so reliable. I realized that every horse was ridden over 1,000 hours/year. There is no way that one person can put in that many hours. But a lesson horse does put in that much time. I am sure that you could tolerate bad habits that are not dangerous. The lesson horse that was my favorite as a teenager would pull the reins out of your hands while you waited in line during lessons, but he never reared, bucked or ran off with anybody, and he'd wait forever for you to mount--stuff like that is tolerable.
I'll be happy to follow this thread. I REALLY wish you well, and pray for a complete physical AND mental healing! =D
Thank you and I'm so sorry you've had bad experiences too. I'm in awe of you still riding and having a couple of youngsters. You're right that as you get older it gets harder....you realise you don't bounce anymore when you hit the ground you more inclined to splat!

I agree that I need a calm, steady, beginner/kid safe horse to ride. I have been for a riding lesson here and the horse was 2nd level trained? I have no idea what that means...but it was far too sensitive for me right now. Very well trained and obedient, but I felt very anxious with how sharp it was.

It sounds really stupid, but part of me wants to own a horse again soon. To build a bond up with one horse and feel safe with that one horse. I guess that comes from losing my TB mare a couple months back. I miss that bond and the time we spent together.

Missing Freya (05.28.05 - 09.30.11)
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever
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post #23 of 42 Old 12-13-2011, 01:52 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by kait18 View Post
congrats on calling them. I love how determined you are to help yourself. It shows how strong you really are!!!

Good luck :)
Thank you, I appreciate it. I'll try and remember your words when I am in the carpark of the office waiting to go in!
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Missing Freya (05.28.05 - 09.30.11)
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever
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post #24 of 42 Old 12-13-2011, 07:37 AM
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Hi Pyrrhic,
I can completely relate. I had a bad throw...not as damaging as yours but one that really shook me up. It just happened a few months ago while I was in my search for a horse. It was on my lease horse.
I have found that now while I feel safe riding indoors or in an outdoor arena or enclosed pasture...I am a wreck when trail riding(my horse bolted on the trails and that is when I was thrown head first into a boulder...thank god for helmets).

I am with you as I want to own my own horse that I feel safe with and work my way up. I think I may have hit gold with one I found a few weeks ago. I have pushed myself to take him out in conditions I am scared to do to see how he does and he has been great. I plan on spending the winter inside with him working up my confidence.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
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post #25 of 42 Old 12-13-2011, 07:56 AM
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Hey Phyrric,
We've all been there at some time or another, trust me :) If riding came without its bumps and bruises, it would be too easy! I could list all the accidents I've had, but I'll just let you know the only think I haven't broken or fractured yet is my legs.

I like how you are throwing yourself in there with the children's therapy centre, however. Get yourself in to the swing of things, in to that relaxed environment and close to horses, not even touching. Just being used to them. Obivously these horses are going to be the more docile side which will suit your brilliantly. You'll get fit, and start to over come you fears! Bonus!

And through that, who knows. Word of mouth is brilliant, and someone may be able to reccomend a place to go, or someone with a horse that can help. I panic every time I hack out, which isn't great. On my new horse I panic every time I ride outside, she picks it up- you need a horse, eventually, that will work with you.

I am very sorry to hear about your 6yo also.

Good luck on your journey, and keep us updated as to how things work out for you.
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post #26 of 42 Old 12-13-2011, 09:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pyrrhic View Post
You're so right, I do need to relax. It's just easier said than done! I think something like meditation and listening to music would work for me. Yoga....not sure as that involves going to a class. Haha I'm terrible!
Haha not if you have a reaaaally comprehensive library book on the subject ;)

You can do this though.. baby steps!
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post #27 of 42 Old 12-13-2011, 09:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Mellow Mel View Post
Hi Pyrrhic,
I can completely relate. I had a bad throw...not as damaging as yours but one that really shook me up. It just happened a few months ago while I was in my search for a horse. It was on my lease horse.
I have found that now while I feel safe riding indoors or in an outdoor arena or enclosed pasture...I am a wreck when trail riding(my horse bolted on the trails and that is when I was thrown head first into a boulder...thank god for helmets).

I am with you as I want to own my own horse that I feel safe with and work my way up. I think I may have hit gold with one I found a few weeks ago. I have pushed myself to take him out in conditions I am scared to do to see how he does and he has been great. I plan on spending the winter inside with him working up my confidence.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
Congratulations on finding a great horse! And I hope you work through it.. :) you'll feel better once you gain that confidence back.

Urgh those nasty falls.. I had a horse buck me off at the canter (I didn't ask for it) and I landed square ontop of my head (thank god for helmets) and I sprained my neck and ankle really bad. Took me 4 weeks to even think about being on a horse again. And even then I had major anxiety.
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post #28 of 42 Old 12-13-2011, 12:44 PM
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You're right, Pyrrhic--we Do "Splat" when we're older!!TOTALLY ROFL
It's a shame that top show horses that are super sensitive go for the big bucks. Seems to me that thoroughly calmed, desensitized super-safe horses should be bringing in great prices!!
Have you contacted CHERIE, yet? She's an older trainer, here on the forum with us, and she's still turning out safe horses. (She also lives fairly close to you, in Oklahoma.) She might know of a good candidate. =D
I know that it will help if I also suggest that you bring a very good friend with you when you horse shop. You MUST NOT fall in love with the wrong horse!! You're going to want to test said horse for any reactiveness. When I was recovering from my fall and I was particularly leary of any horse I didn't know I was able to watch my great mare, "Warren's Cindy" for 4 days. A CW Reenactor friend of ours picketed her on the same line as my 3 geldings at the 2008, 145th National Gettysburg Reenactment. I watched her perform in 3 battles, with about 5 thousand soldiers on the field at any one time, most of them "firing at will", along with her reactions to crowds (she loves attention and cameras) and to cannons exploding and cars and trucks moving them out at the end of the weekend. When I found she was for sale I jumped at the opportunity and bought her.
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post #29 of 42 Old 12-14-2011, 12:26 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Corporal View Post
I know that it will help if I also suggest that you bring a very good friend with you when you horse shop. You MUST NOT fall in love with the wrong horse!!
You mean the mustang gelding who's story I've been following from the BLM through retraining who's now up for re-homing is not my perfect horse?

http://shilohicemancometh.blogspot.com/

I agree with you and I think I'll be daydreaming while browsing horse sites until my nerves are under control a bit better and I'v met some horse people here in Vegas so I have a good support network around me for when I do take the plunge and get another horse. I have my mare's insurance money sitting in my savings account and I'm sure the right horse will come along when it's the right time.

Your mare sounds so special and one of a kind

Missing Freya (05.28.05 - 09.30.11)
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever

Last edited by Pyrrhic; 12-14-2011 at 12:29 AM.
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post #30 of 42 Old 12-14-2011, 12:26 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Skyseternalangel View Post
Haha not if you have a reaaaally comprehensive library book on the subject ;)
This really made me laugh
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Missing Freya (05.28.05 - 09.30.11)
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