Ok, I will answer your questions in the best order I can.
For a proper "whoa". Before all else, relax. Before you get on, make sure your not anticipating his anxiety. Take deep breaths, stretch, and when you get in the saddle be a heavy and lazy as you can without losing your position, don't give any signs of anticipation or speed. Go at a walk, with good contact and a generally relaxed horse. When you decide you want to stop, lean back, bring your hand back and do your "whoa" as normal. When his feet stop moving, hold the reins at that tension for a count of "one". Do it out loud if it helps. Slowly release, and as soon as for feel him even shift his weight forward, immediately ask him to back up. Back him up six or seven strides, release and ask for whoa. Make sure you don't touch him with your feet at all. Try to keep some kind of contact through all of this. After backing, if he tries to keep going forward, ask him to back again. Repeat this until you can stop him, and count to three, then work on something else for a minute. Repeat this process periodically through your ride. Remember to not get in his face unless he's going forward when you don't want him to.
For the rushing trot. Again, be as relaxed with your seat as you can possibly be. Show no signs of anxiety. Keep some very light contact in your reins, let the horse walk and be relaxed, and just barely ask for the trot. Just the smallest smooch. If he doesn't respond, increase the intensity of your asking. When he does trot, keep the rein as light light light as you can, post to keep up with as lazy a seat as possible, say "easy" and just barely tug in a seesaw motion with your hands (you need to go back to direct reining for this training.)Use just your pinkies. Its kind of a "bump bump bump", just a gentle reminder. Make sure to keep your voice calm as well. If he still breaks into a canter, immediately stop him. And back him up until he whoas like above. Let him walk until he's relaxed, and begin again. This will work not only for the accidental canter strides, but also for slowing him down so he's less choppy.
Use whatever canter cue you want. Your teaching it to him. Personally, I lift my inside rein, and push with my outside heel. He'll be rushy at the canter, so use the same technique as for the trot, to slow him down at the canter. Remember to be as relaxed as possible If he refuses to respond to light contact, increase it. If it increases to being a strain on your arms, push him. Open up and let him run. Kep him running at the speed he chose, even when he wants to slow down. And when you think he's tired, get your one or two good slow canter go arounds, and be done. If he does it again, do it again. After a couple times of this, if he's still pulling and running off with you, start asking him to come back using the same technique for the trot. Increase contact until its a strain on your arms, then stop, back him til he whoas, walk til he chills, and try again.
Whooo that was long. Hope this helped :)
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