Help for Mom of rider! - Page 2

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Help for Mom of rider!

This is a discussion on Help for Mom of rider! within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        06-25-2009, 12:19 PM
    Thank you all so much for your help! I think my take away is that there is no pressure to do things on a certain timeline and that she has to feel confidnet enough to do it when and where she wants. I think I'm feeling pressure from my barn for her to overcome her fears and that in turn is maybe making it worse?
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        06-25-2009, 12:26 PM
    I understand what you are going through. A couple of the children that my daughter takes lessons with are the same exact way. Everything will be going fine and then when the horse starts to go a little too fast for them they panic. My daughter on the other hand is a "the faster the better" kid. She always wants to ride the "go" horses,lol!
        06-25-2009, 01:44 PM
    Originally Posted by peerue    
    Thank you all so much for your help! I think my take away is that there is no pressure to do things on a certain timeline and that she has to feel confidnet enough to do it when and where she wants. I think I'm feeling pressure from my barn for her to overcome her fears and that in turn is maybe making it worse?
    That's highly possible. But it's not up to them to determine when she's ready to advance, it is up to her. I hope they aren't pressuring her too much during the lesson itself. A little pushing is fine, but if she is getting frustrated and distressed, they need to back off a little.

    I hope she finds her groove soon!
        06-25-2009, 03:50 PM
    My suggestion would be to just let your daughter go at her own pace and get comfortable, then gently encourage her to try newer things, or the same things on different horses.

    I'm kind of a timid rider myself. I don't cling to the saddle horn when I ride western, and I do some small jumps, etc., but I'm just more cautious than most other riders I know. I'm the one who goes to the gymkhana style show and says "He's a little fussy, I think we'll just walk the barrel pattern today", instead of "He's a little fussy, OPEN THE THROTTLE!" I'm sure your daughter will build some more confidence with time. You said that she's only been riding for a year? That's a while, but in the grand scheme of riding it isn't that long. Riding is meant to be fun, and too much pressure can wipe that fun away in a heartbeat. I have heard of the John Lyons team penning method, Juniper, and that would be a great idea. I have heard of horse soccer as well, and in my 4-H club, we occasionally play what we have dubbed "horseball", basically throwing a hackey sack or other small ball back and forth on horseback, sheer fun. It gets the mind off of "what if, what if," and on to having fun with the horse.

    Good luck to you and your daughter!

    P.S. If her fear is of falling, maybe take some gymnastics lessons and/or otherwise learning how to fall correctly will boost her confidence. I also like one rein stops on horses to instill confidence in teh ability to stop them no matter what, and there are also several emergency dismounts that can be fun to learn and will show your daughter that if she needs to, she can be off in an instant.

    Hey! I wrote a novel! Lol
        06-25-2009, 04:48 PM
    Has anyone been telling her 'horror stories'? I've had a student or two that has lost confidence from some of the stories people will tell.
    Just give her time. She will move on when she's ready.
        06-25-2009, 05:27 PM
    All good advice, but she really should do some emergency dismounts to learn how to "fall off" and hopefully get over her fear of falling. I think its very normal and natural to have fear. If she were my student I would have her ride the same calm horse every time and really foster a relationship with that horse. (do they have a pony or really small horse?)

    Let her get used to falling off by making it fun. Maybe have her canter or jump little poles while on a lunge line.

    Good luck
        06-25-2009, 05:33 PM
    Emergency dismount work is a good idea!
        06-25-2009, 05:49 PM
    Green Broke
    Yea, I would talk to her insturcter about riding the same pony or horse. Once you have that relasionship with a horse, you won't feel scared anymore. Just let her move at her own pace.
        06-25-2009, 06:12 PM
    At the barn I used to work at we had a little girl that sounds just like your daughter. Finally one day her Grandmom couldn't be at the lesson. The girl was so much more confident and goofy. I don't know why because the Grandmom was nothing but supportive and lovely. Have you tried just letting your daughter go to the barn by herself. Maybe she is more nervous in front of you? Or your fears over her falling are rubbing off on her?
        06-25-2009, 08:14 PM
    Practicing emergency dismount is a really good idea. Plus it is fun.

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