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Help need to make a decision....Warning long

3K views 28 replies 8 participants last post by  cowgirl1994 
#1 ·
Hello All,

So I have had my gelding for a year and I have only been able to ride him a handful of times. He is spooky and I had a riding accident before I bought him and he was supposed to be my confidence booster and has only become a danger for me and has made me a spooky rider. I have put money into training had him vetted I just think we are a bad match. I had a girl come try him out to possibly part board him and he was bad for her too. But the barn owner where he is located rides him all the time with no issues and the previous owner was a male and he also had no issues. I think he is a horse that tests you and if he senses any kind of fear he will take advantage. So I am thinking after a year of trying everything possible we are just not suitable for each other. So I'm gonna sell him I think.
I don't want to give up on him but other then switching barns to see if he is just spooky where he is currently located I don' really know what else to do.

So I have been looking into new horses, looking for something I can lease for a while and then decide whether it is the right match and I can purchase it.

So I found a horse that I like she is a Canadian Sport horse 17hh has shown everything from eventing to dressage to fox hunting to jumping she has done it all and shown it all and has always done well. She is 20years old and absolutely beautiful and the owner has had her for 13 years and learned how to ride on this mare. It takes a lot to spook this mare and she is very safe. I have ridden her once so far and it went prettty well.
However, I had contacted the previous owner of my gelding to let them know that I was considering selling him. They got back to me and said they would consider buying him back. I paid a lot of money for this gelding and feel I really want my money back but I talked to them again tonight and they have another horse that they think would be suitable for what I'm wanting. For a while I didn'y know whether or not to trust them but if they sold me a bad horse why would they offer to take him back? So now their suggesting me try out this other horse they have for a month to see if she is a good fit and if so we would just do a trade for my gelding for their mare. My boyfriend wants our money back he does not want me to trade as he thinks I can get a good horse for half of what I paid for my gelding especially with the horse industry in canada not doing too well at the moment so people are literally giving horses away. But if they don't buy him back then who is going to buy this gelding that I can't show? I will not get on him. There is no way someone is going to pay what I did a year ago for a horse that seems to only allow men to ride him safely.

I think it's worth trying out this horse the old owners are offering me...Am I stupid to think it may be a better match? Or should I just see if the barn owner where he is being boarded would buy him for whatever he would be willing to pay and just cut my loses and move on?

I am doing lessons with a coach that I love one day a week for now and starting in a couple weeks will be doing two lessons a week. She seems to think I should stick with a smaller horse that is trained both western and english as right now I am riding western until I get my confidence back as I feel safer in a western saddle so that 17hh horse has not been in western tack but the owner feels there would be no reason why she couldn't.

So I lease both horses....I don't know I'm so lost and just don't know where I should go with all this.

I love my gelding but it's pretty bad I have a horse I can't ride. I just want to have a horse that I can enjoy.
Someone help!!!!!
 
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#3 ·
A friend of mine has a horse that is aggressive and she wants her trained so her two year old daughter can ride her soon. She will buck, kick and rear. I am going to train her in the spring. She has had the saddle on her but bucks like crazy. If I were you, I wouldn`y give up. Maybe he like men more than ladies. I don`t know.
 
#4 ·
Good luck with that. I totally disagree in this mentality for this OP who has had an accident and needs a confidence builder. Cowgirl-your attitude gets a LOT of people hurt. Hopefully it will not be your friends child.

OP-I would tell the previous owners that at this point, you have another horse you would like to try, and try it. You will always wonder if you don't. My bet is that you may well not feel comfortable on a horse that size. Try her-and the, if you like her, sell the current horse to the previous owners. Otherwise, try the trade they offer, but only if they agree to buy yours if you don't want it. I had one like you have now, and basically ended up selling him for $500 (10% of what I paid) but at least he was "off the payroll" and I could move on.
 
#11 ·
Once you are afraid of a horse, the relationship is over. At least for me. There are just too many good safe horss out there, and, at least in my case, I am too old and break to easily-plus I am WAY to valuable :)wink:) to take a chance. Life is too short to not enjoy the ride.
 
#7 ·
It won't to have a look at the former owner's trade prospect. At the very least, it's a help to get as much exposure as possible to different horses for your own confidence and experience; at best you might click with the prospect.

I do feel you probably won't get what you paid for your gelding a year ago. In the year's time you've had him, I'm sorry to say, it doesn't sound like he's done anything to improve or necessarily hold his value. In that case, a trade may make the best financial sense if you like the prospect.
 
#12 ·
The horse loves the little girl, she would never do anything to hurt her. She hasn't been worked for a while cuz my just had a baby and is going to have another on right away. I know it is going to be a long time, okay I get it.
 
#15 ·
You yourself said the horse is aggressive! Why on earth would you bring a BABY anywhere near it!? You said yourself it bites and kicks! Some people...

Trust me that horse does not love the child, horses don't love like we do. I hate when people humanize horses. "Oh she loves me, she would never hurt me" then low and behold who gets hurt? Seen it a million times. Its a 1000+ lbs prey animal not a 40lbs puppy dog...
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#19 ·
Look she was like that about 6 months ago. I have done some behavior training on her and she is doing very well. She does it when I am around and of course the dog. When the little girl is around, she is very nice to her. I should of explained at the beginning but I quickly wrote something down. I am not trying to be mean or anything but I want ta at least help people with their horse problems and see if anyone will help me later on too. I may be getting a horse this year so I would like to at least help some people. Don't think I am some rude person telling people what to do. I would never be like that EVER. :(
 
#20 · (Edited)
Since the horse goes well for the BO, maybe they would help you sell him? Like be the "agent" for a commission? That means they sell the horse for you. They are the ones sowing him, riding him, etc. Might just work, and perhaps you would not lose as much $$. Depends on if they are willing. I totally get where you are coming from. I put mine in training to, but at least with the training the horse and I were awesome at ground work! We could "play" with that all the time, so he stayed fit and was handled. I get it-really I do, and I feel for you. Good luck!

The other thing I did was ride in a round pen......if you have one, that can help rebuild your confidence. I got that idea from a CA video on rebuilding confidence.
 
#24 ·
I don't think it is a matter of hurting anyone's feelings, in my case I was afraid you would get someone hurt! As has been stated, most folks do not have the ability to deal with every situation, and to advise them to always work out the kinks is a bit irresponsible. Live and learn. I think you have.
 
#26 ·
Let's not hijack the thread. Right now we are talking about ruxpinsam's dilemna .

First of all, with regard to your boyfriend's comment about losing money:
the amount of time and bother it will cost you to sell the gelding is something to consider. If you have a ready buyer, even if they are not paying top dollar, you should weigh the convenience of this against the possible gain of trying harder/longer to sell on the open market. Time IS money.

Secondly, do not let the size of the mare scare you. some 17 hh horses are just so wonderful to ride. they can be very gentle and very solid feeling. It's actually harder to stay over a squierrely 14 hh horse than over the same squierrely 17 hh. I mean, you have more wiggle room before you fall off.
On the other hand, once a big horse's engine kicks in, it can be a lot to deal iwht. I only wanted to say that just becuase a horse is big does not mean they are more challenging. I am riding a 17 hh horse and other than the challenge of mounting, I ADORE the big lug.

Leasing a horse , if the owner is someone you click with, can be very reassuring , especially if you want a little morale support, or if you have questions. Would the owner be available to you and could she give you some lessons?


The way you "click' with the horse is much more important than the size. And the human relationship , with the owner, if good, can be a wonderful help to a person who struggles with confidence.
 
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