help that is no help

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help that is no help

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        12-04-2012, 11:18 PM
    help that is no help

    Gees. Today, I was working w my mare. Then, I decided to work w my new filly. I didn't want to tie or pen my mare b/c she is still dealing w the emotional distress of me giving any attention to the new arrival and she can make a big production when subjected to watching me one-on-one w the new squirt. So, lightbulb, instead I wanted DH to hold her and keep her company and/or busy. DH has zero interest in horses, but is a real sweetheart about helping me and I shouldn't complain but I will. Generally, he helps by handing me stuff, feeding, whatnot...nothing too "interactive" w the horses themselves. But, you would think he could hold my mare for 20 minutes w/o a problem! So, I hand DH my mare, a fairly well trained horse, and off I went w the filly. I was pretty focused on the filly when I looked over and my mare was dancing around and in general looked aggitated. I ask DH what was wrong, and he said he didn't know but she was acting strange and had kicked. Well, end of training session for the filly, I switched horses w him. My mare immediately calmed down and seemed normal. So, I put both horses up and grilled DH, "what did you do to her?" He kept saying nothing, that he had just asked her to move her behind and she kicked. I just could not believe that was "all", so I kept asking. Finally, he said he just asked her to move her hind end the same way as I do and she kicked. So, I asked him exactly how did you ask? He illustrates on his own body that he "pushed" her lightly right "there"...the FLANK on her tickle spot. I was dumbfounded...WTH, I asked him WHY would you do that? Most any horse will kick or worse! He said he didn't know that. I fired him right then and there! Oh, and I told him btw, I do not make contact of any sort w her body when I ask her to move her hindquarters! Why would you think I do? Oh, he said, he thought I did. For the love of christmas, why? So, all of those times he was watching whilst puddling on his iphone or whatnot he really wasn't watching. Well, he was trying to help, I suppose.

    I calmed down and figured out that I couldn't fire him. This is distressing, having help that is no help that you can't fire. Great.

    End of complaining session. If your DH is the best hand w a horse this side of the Pecos...I don't want to hear about it. But, if they are no help at all...I would love to hear about it for no other reason than to feel I am not the only one on the planet w no help for help!!!
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        12-04-2012, 11:23 PM
    Green Broke
    Sorry, no stories to share, but I sympathize with you.
        12-04-2012, 11:27 PM
    Thanks helps. ***sigh*** Poor me. :)
        12-04-2012, 11:48 PM
    Sooo... Your husband was prepared to stand for 20 minutes holding on to an animal that he has zero interest in, while you ignored him. He made an understandable error, and she kicked out at him. Then you got cross with him?? I'm not sure why he hasn't fired you to be honest!
        12-05-2012, 12:38 AM
    I understand. I normally never ask non-horse people to ever help me with anything, I'm more of a I'll just do it myself person. I'll never forget when I got Dora, I had to pull some blood on her to send in with registration. I had her tied and she was being a little dancey, nothing bad, but not standing still...normal yearling fidgets. The GF of a boarder walked over and asked if she could help me in some kind of way and I said "yeah, just hold her head". This girl literally bear hugged Dora's face. Dora was shocked enough that she stood still, I pulled blood, and then I explained the proper way to hold her head. Afterwards, to myself, I was like "did that seriously just happen?". I mean, her BF had horses and was at the barn all the time with him, I know not once has she ever seen anyone hold a horse that way.
        12-05-2012, 01:02 AM
    LOL my hubby loves the horses but doesn't ride or really have any contact with them other than scratching them.....he does put out the bales for me though LOL
    He would come down the odd time to watch me work with horses, then because he watched a couple training DVDs he thought he knew how to train, I told him until I see him in here training a horse to be quiet (well not quite as nicely said though) LOL
    Missy May and Herdof2 like this.
        12-05-2012, 01:03 AM
    Originally Posted by Shropshirerosie    
    Sooo... Your husband was prepared to stand for 20 minutes holding on to an animal that he has zero interest in, while you ignored him. He made an understandable error, and she kicked out at him. Then you got cross with him?? I'm not sure why he hasn't fired you to be honest!
    Well, I hadn't looked at it that way. It's always good to look at things from a different perspective.
    Shropshirerosie and jaydee like this.
        12-05-2012, 01:29 AM
    How irresponsible, inconsiderate and rude of you!

    It is your responsibility as the horse owner to work through any issues your horses may have. It is also your responsibility to teach anyone that is going to be handling them how to properly do so. Why would you hand your horse off to someone that usually just hands you things, not bother to teach him anything and then proceed to question and gripe at him for not doing things right?

    And why would you expect anyone to stand and hold your horse for 20 minutes just for that, much less a non-horsey person? Why not put her in her stall or pasture or wherever you keep her?

    I really hope you apologize to your DH and I really hope you haven't put him off to the whole horse thing altogether.
        12-05-2012, 02:01 AM
    Green Broke

    Sounds like someone is a hair over protective of their horses. How about sticking the mare out in her paddock and making her suck up that "jealously". I'm sure a flake of hay will do the trick. If that doesn't work maybe you other half can go in with a top hat and cane and do a little number for her? Or maybe ditch that idea and hire her very own message therapist for the down time? Or maybe a psychologist to help her with her issues?

    Be grateful you have someone will to stand there against there will with a spoiled rotten horse. Don't like it? Good luck finding someone else who will tolerate that.
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        12-05-2012, 02:05 AM
    Where the heck is the tickle spot?
    Misty'sGirl and Cherie like this.

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