my baby mare was put down on Christmas and i still haven't washed my winter jacket. In fact i bought a new one to avoid washing my old one..... i don't ever plan on washing it, even though its got some blood stains. It's one of the only things i can remember her by, so i don't want to lose it. I hope you get over your pain soon, and i am sorry for your loss. Hopefully you have another horse who can look after you, that's what got me back into riding. I just got a new horse and take so many pictures every day, just so that i will always have something more than a a jacket to remember. I'm saddened the most by my fading memory, and i feel it's important to have tangible things to remember, so always hold on to your stuff!