Horse as a gift good or bad?!? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 10 Old 07-07-2013, 03:34 PM Thread Starter
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Horse as a gift good or bad?!?

I've looking around for a horse to buy and my trainers are being very helpful, but I can't spend a large amount of money on my first horse. But my friend has kindly offered more than once to purchase a horse that is a good match for me. What are your opinions on people buying horses as a gift??
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post #2 of 10 Old 07-07-2013, 03:58 PM
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Alllllllll depends. Is this friend someone who won't try and take advantage of it later as in, I bought you the horse so could I get you to do this or that for me? You would feel very obligated; I know, been there. I had a friend help me with a deposit on a horse only because I was out of the area and I heard about it for months afterwards even though she was paid back immediately when I returned to the area...and that was only three days later. Be very very careful.
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post #3 of 10 Old 07-07-2013, 04:04 PM
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I think it all really depends on the parties involved.

For instance, I got my mare because an older friend/riding instructor/mentor person knew of Lacey's situation, thought she'd be a good match for me, and felt like I was ready for a horse.
I met Lacey, we "clicked" instantly, and my friend offered to own+pay for Lacey's needs for a year, then transfer ownership to me at the end of the year if I had consistently shown that I was committed to Lacey [by working with her 2-3 times a week, etc].

Lacey, however, was a free horse for my friend to "purchase." My friend actually even got a few tons of grass hay, a saddle, Lacey, and Lacey's BFF horse [who my friend saw potential in as well], just for taking Lacey.

Anyway, that arrangement worked out really pretty well for Lacey, my friend, and I. In a few weeks it'll be my 5 year "anniversary" with Lacey, from that first day I saw her.
Basically I'm super glad I had the chance to get Lacey and I wouldn't give that up for anything, BUT the parts involving my friend did get slightly sketchy towards the end of that first year.
Lacey's a hard keeper in the winter and needs alfalfa to keep weight on, but my friend was not willing to do that [she believes that alfalfa "kills horses by turning their stomachs black"] and, at the time, I didn't know enough to just go buy my own alfalfa.
She also refused to get Lacey any sort of hoof care in the winter, for similarly strange reasons - "horses need more hoof in the winter. Hoof=traction and in Oregon mud, we NEED traction!" I ended up doing a little hoof care myself but I seriously had no idea what I was doing. No one should have let me near poor Lacey with a hoof rasp!!
My friend also let a variety of people ride Lacey who should not have been riding a green, anxiety-ridden, hot horse. Most of those people ended up falling off due to their ignorance which I can't say helped Lacey's training. But what was I going to say? "I really wish you would stop letting people ride your horse that you pay everything for, on your property, because I'm going to own her in year"?? Hah.

Just that sort of stuff - when someone other than you owns "your" horse, they really have you in a corner if opinions disagree on care.
It was all worth it for me, in the end, but it was a hard year. I've now moved Lacey 'home' -to my neighbor's house- and I'm able to care for her "the proper way" but if we had stayed at my friends house, I can guarantee that that person would still be hanging on to Lacey like she owned her still.

I guess it's like what "they" say about having a romantic relationship with a friend - if you want the friendship to last forever and the end of that friendship would really kill you, don't get involved like that. But if you don't mind if the friendship ends, do it.
That friend and I are still "friends" but we're not friend-friends like we were. I see her maybe once a year and it's always awkward. We never had a falling out of any kind, just our friendship couldn't sustain the differing opinions and just different people-ness.


And boy, this ended up waaay longer than I intended.
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Last edited by Wallaby; 07-07-2013 at 04:06 PM.
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post #4 of 10 Old 07-07-2013, 04:38 PM
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that's a big gift. I guess it depends on the nature of the relationship. It could go really well or really badly. I guess the thing is get it all in writing, have the horse in your name and write up a contract just in case. If this a friendship with someone who might have any romantic feelings toward you that you do not reciprocate or ever anticipate reciprocating than don't do it.
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post #5 of 10 Old 07-07-2013, 04:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cowgal366 View Post
I've looking around for a horse to buy and my trainers are being very helpful, but I can't spend a large amount of money on my first horse. But my friend has kindly offered more than once to purchase a horse that is a good match for me. What are your opinions on people buying horses as a gift??
I would be uncomfortable with that as you must be or you wouldn't be asking.
Now if they just won the lottery or were filthy rich I might not think of it as a big of a deal.
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post #6 of 10 Old 07-07-2013, 04:56 PM
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First of all make sure it is a 'gift' and ownership is transferred to you with it stating free of charge. Secondly if its a I will buy it any you pay me back, make sure you pay the full amount of money back, if needed make monthly payments. There is nothing worse than helping someone out ,, with a clear understanding .. and then having to keep reminding the other person that the loan is past due..
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post #7 of 10 Old 07-07-2013, 05:04 PM
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There is no way I would do that. I would, potentially, have them pay the purchase price with a contract saying I would do monthly payments until the horse is paid off - but I would never allow someone to buy me a horse. WAY too many complications can arise in the future and people to have a horribly vindictive nature when we feel we've been wronged.
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post #8 of 10 Old 07-07-2013, 08:20 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you all for your opinions, I see what you all mean. I'm not worried about about feelings and they don't know or have anything to do with horses, they do motorcross and have a very large increase of money since being signed last year and are aware of how much this would mean to me. I'm just worried about feeling gulity..
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post #9 of 10 Old 07-07-2013, 08:33 PM
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Like WSA mentioned, you might arrange some sort of contract with them where they do the initial purchase and you do monthly payments to cover the price. That way, you could get a good horse, pay for it with your own money (eventually), and not feel any long-term obligation to your friend... or any guilt about them buying the horse.

While I'm sure it's all on the up and up, I'd be uncomfortable with them just buying the horse for me as a "gift", the actual ownership is always hazy in instances like that.

Always remember that feeling of looking at a big, open country over the ears of a good horse, seeing a new trail unwind ahead of you, and that ever-spectacular view from the top of the ridge!!! Follow my training blog: http://robertsontraining.blogspot.com/
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post #10 of 10 Old 07-07-2013, 08:59 PM
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I wouldn't want someone else to buy horse or gift a horse to me. A horse is a very personal investment that requires a lot of commitment after the initial purchase.

So in lies the madness, the pursuit of the impossible in the face of the complete assurance that you will fail, and yet still you chase.
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