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Horse Hoarding.

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        06-19-2013, 12:56 AM
      #41
    Trained
    Muppetgirl, you are a likable person, intelligent, passionate, and those avatars inform me that you have a great sense of humor. Those are all great qualities to have. I respect you for them. Shalom Donald
    demonwolfmoon likes this.
         
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        06-19-2013, 12:58 AM
      #42
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dbarabians    
    Muppetgirl, you are a likable person, intelligent, passionate, and those avatars inform me that you have a great sense of humor. Those are all great qualities to have. I respect you for them. Shalom Donald
    Thank you.
    demonwolfmoon likes this.
         
        06-19-2013, 01:06 AM
      #43
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Muppetgirl    
    This has happened to me in adulthood not childhood....I didn't even know what hoarding was until I helped these people move house and I entered the basement and innocently said 'gee there's lots of stuff' and I nearly got a new ear hole chewed for saying it......I married into it.....my own mother probably owned four cooking pots when I was growing up......the lady that hoards has about 35.......probably more.....it makes me angry that they don't see how it affects others and they seemingly care much more about 'things' than they do others....
    It's true, I think, and in some ways, I guess that's part of the illness. I was treated even more like crap once I learned how to hurt them back....things.

    I am not educated in the ways of MH...I have problems of my own, of course. I don't even feel bad about it anymore...I survived, I take medication when needed, I see counselors when needed, and I do what I gotta do to make sure my kids have a better life.

    Anyway, the hoarding...I think getting new pets makes them feel better. I got a couple of my cats that way to be honest. I know that (now), and I can resist it because getting an animal that way when you already have all you need is just selfishness. It's not just that though. A hoarder can't just get rid of all their stuff and be better. The compulsion is still there. For animals, as has been said, to "save" them from others, because they'll be treated better. What you can call a self righteous thought...well I can see that as being soothing! Would the person then not think just a little better of themselves, increase their ego? I think there's also more to it than they can't SEE it...maybe depression? In any case, it's super complicated.

    I just wish there was a better way to treat it...the brain is a very complicated thing.
         
        06-19-2013, 01:06 AM
      #44
    Trained
    No need to thank me. Neither you or demonwolf are defined by what others say or do. Remember that. You too demonwolf. Shalom
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        06-19-2013, 01:15 AM
      #45
    Yearling
    The barn owner I got Clem from is a good example of just not knowing when is enough. He has some twenty odd (nearing thirty) horses. He usually hires a hand over summer to run day camps with a lot of these. But he's one man, and while they get ridden and groomed as long as day camps go on for some of them, that's all. He doesn't ride. He trims his own hooves and makes all sorts of excuses for why most of them are bordering slipper foot or are all cracked instead of admitting that trimming thirty horses is too much. None get their teeth done. Who knows about worming. If the day camps didn't go on these horses would rot in the pasture. But he keeps them because he can make money from them and just can't admit that it's becoming too much, and more and more makes excuses for the poor condition of some of them. He also boards horses- if he accepts too many more it'll be more than the land can handle. He is selling some, but certainly not trying very hard, and charging too much for them. It's more about the money, I think, and because of it he turns a blind eye to the problems cropping up.
         
        06-19-2013, 02:33 AM
      #46
    Started
    I've watched 'Hoarders' on TV a few times and I've noticed a few things.

    Those who buy enormous amount of 'things', usually have someone who is footing the bill. For example, I've seen many women on the show, they buy clothese, shoes and purses and anything else which takes their fancy. Most do not work but have a husband who is obviously very unhappy about the situation. However, he has a job and his wife seems to be spending everything on clothes, which she doesn't even take the tags off, let alone wear. What I want to know, is where to find a husband like that?

    I'm joking of course, but there seems to often be someone footing the bill. I get everything I need from thrift shops or second hand and have done since before my daughter was born, so that's over 45 years.

    With the animal hoarders, they seem to be more often, single people and living alone.

    Maybe Donald could address this.

    Lizzie
         
        06-19-2013, 03:29 AM
      #47
    Started
    I think there are hoarders and hoarders (either animal or object). Some people hoard stuff because they're just too materially minded to let go of things - they're not mentally ill in a diagnostic sense, they just can't bear the thought of letting go something they paid good money for or is worth (they think) a lot of money. That's called greedyb*starditis.

    Then there are other people who hoard as a form of protection - whether it's animals or things. Whatever they're hoarding gives them a sense of belonging, or holds memories, or gives them some form of comfort. Many of these people have either lost something (home/place, a close person etc) and haven't coped with the loss, or they have an intrinsically low sense of self-worth.

    I am an object hoarder. I have become better in recent months but I have a tendency to hoard stuff that I had from a kid, old letters from people, other peoples' (clean) rubbish, newspapers...you name it, I would hoard it. In my last place I was living in a studio flat and the small living space was entirely cluttered with useless, worthless stuff. I think it made me feel safe, like I was barricading myself in. I always had the blinds closed because I felt exposed otherwise, and I rarely ventured out except to go to work or see Brock. I have a number of mental illnesses and one in particular features very low self-esteem. I am lucky I have a partner who has also experienced mental illness in the past - he's encouraged me to buy nice new things for myself rather than collect old broken rubbish, to keep my office tidy so I don't get overwhelmed, and to get out and about a bit. I've stopped hoarding, I can throw things out without even thinking now. I'll always try and fix something first but if it's finished it's finished and belongs in the trash. He's also helping me stop worrying about money so much - I'm always stressing about the bills and rent and he gets me to calm down and not make myself ill over future scenarios that might not happen.

    But I can really understand how people can hoard. And demonwolf, I do have quite a bit of sympathy for your aunt as well as for you. I hate seeing what I put my partner through sometimes with my illness, but I only see it when I'm not having an episode, and if I am I just cannot see how what I am doing is wrong - I lose all sense of reality, if at the time I'm even conscious of my actions. Then when I come around, I end up hating myself even more for what I've done, and it just ends up being a vicious cycle of self-loathing and crazy. Mental illness really sucks, for everyone involved.
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        06-19-2013, 04:05 AM
      #48
    Yearling
    I could very well be an animal hoarder. When I've watched the shows about it on TV I can relate to a lot of the things they say. Things like no one will love them, take care of them, etc... like I can. The difference being I do take care of mine.

    And while I have more than enough animals, 1 dog, 11 barn cats (all spayed or neutered), and 12 horses, I can't help but drool over and want every cute puppy I see, feeling sorry for and taking in all the cats that get dumped off here, and I occasionally come across an abused or neglected horse that tugs at my heart strings enough that I have to bring it home. Some of the ones that I call my "rescues" have gone on to other homes and some have stayed. 3 of the 12 horses I have now were rescues.

    Every time a new animal comes along and gets taken to my vet I ask him how long before he turns me in for being a hoarder and I get an eye roll and a "you're not there YET". LOL

    I also hoard tack. Got enough I could probably stock a tack store but you just never know when I might need it! Now as far as in the house is concerned, forget it, I hate clutter. Doesn't bother me in the least to throw things away.

    So where is that fine line and how long before I cross it?
         
        06-19-2013, 08:46 AM
      #49
    Super Moderator
    I will admit to holding onto stuff I call memories like things my kids made at school, little presents they bought me etc, I have some birthday cards sent to me by my grandparents and little things that belonged to them. I also admit to occasionally buying things that I don't need - usually clothes or horse tack or what we call my 'chotchkies'
    The difference is in this and with people who do it extremes and those that do it with living animals is that once bought they cost nothing to keep and only the occasional dust over or wash
    Caring for animals correctly takes a lot of time, effort and money
         
        06-19-2013, 08:52 AM
      #50
    Weanling
    Animal hoarding is keeping a higher-than-usual number of animals as domestic pets without having the ability to properly house or care for them, while at the same time denying this inability. Compulsive hoarding can be characterized as a symptom of mental disorder rather than deliberate cruelty towards animals. Hoarders are deeply attached to their pets and find it extremely difficult to let the pets go. They typically cannot comprehend that they are harming their pets by failing to provide them with proper care. Hoarders tend to believe that they provide the right amount of care for their pets.[1] The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals provides a "Hoarding Prevention Team", which works with hoarders to help them attain a manageable and healthy number of pets.




    Buying a horse without knowledge is not hoarding
         

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