Horse 'lending' help....
 
 

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Horse 'lending' help....

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  • Im lending you my horse

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  • 2 Post By Shropshirerosie
  • 1 Post By caseymyhorserocks

 
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    01-07-2013, 09:15 PM
  #1
Started
Horse 'lending' help....

My friend is joining horse 4-H, but doesn't have a horse - so I'm letting her 'borrow' mine. I am working with my other horse - brisco - who I would still love to work with, mainly for the experience and learning with working with different horses. Golley (the one I am 'lending') is now currently my horse. We are beginning to get that relationship that 'everybody' wants with their horses.... Well, I am also learning more things, and I want to start trying them with Golley - golley first because brisco is a HUGE pain in the butt sometimes. Well, what I am trying to say, is that I still want to use golley for 4-H. I've already done it for a year, but I want to keep doing it with him. But brisco is a pain, and I don't want to put my friend in all this pressure with a butt-horse. But I don't want to make her mad by telling her I want to keep on working with golley - but it also sounds selfish.
Does it sound selfish and should I let her keep working with him, or should I find a way to nicely say - I want to keep working with golley, but you can work with brisco.
Brisco is really bossy, and my friend is too 'soft' when it comes to horses, meaning she doesn't show 'who's boss.'
What should I do??
     
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    01-07-2013, 09:54 PM
  #2
Started
Tell her that you're sorry and you've been thinking and you need to continue with Golley for 4-h. Apologise for not realising sooner, and especially apologise if she has paid joining fees already.

Offer her the other one, but don't insist on her using him. Maybe he's not the right horse for her.

Be honest and upfront now - this is much better than letting her join with Golley now, and then pulling the whole thing apart a couple of months down the line just as maybe she is building a relationship with him.

Ps - if she does join with Brisco, let HER learn his personality, and let the instructors help her. You never know, she may get on with him just fine. Don't condemn her ability to work with him without her having the chance.
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    01-07-2013, 10:11 PM
  #3
Started
It is not selfish to "reclaim" your horse from her. It is your horse, and you were being very kind to let her borrow him for free, but now you want to do some stuff with him, and that is fine. Like Shrop said, offer her your other horse and if it doesn't work out, too bad, but she should at least appreciate that you offered him to her.
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    01-08-2013, 12:45 AM
  #4
Started
If all else fails, blame your parents. They will probably back you up if confronted(you have to let them know what is going on though), and are the perfect scapegoat in times like these. "Mom said I can't let other people use him off the farm.... I know, she is being really mean but there is nothing I can do. I can try to help you find something else though if you want?"
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    01-08-2013, 08:22 AM
  #5
Started
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyDreamer    
If all else fails, blame your parents. They will probably back you up if confronted(you have to let them know what is going on though), and are the perfect scapegoat in times like these. "Mom said I can't let other people use him off the farm.... I know, she is being really mean but there is nothing I can do. I can try to help you find something else though if you want?"
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Oh yes, let's have you lie to your friend; that way when her parents confront your parents, you'll be the one in the dog house. Sounds like a great idea to me.

Just be honest with your friend. You're doing her a huge favor by lending her any of your horses. "Beggers can't be choosers" If she throws a fit about it, then she can find someone else to lend her a horse.
     
    01-08-2013, 09:24 AM
  #6
Started
Okay, thank you all.
     
    01-08-2013, 10:49 AM
  #7
Started
Usually, when I would bring up these concerns to my parents when I was of 4H age, they were alway supportive of my decisions, and would back me up if confronted. Granted, I had an unusual relationship with my parents, compared to many kids now and then. I actually spoke to them on a regular basis, and was very open with them, and went to them if I needed help. It is great to have parental backing when times are tough. That is probably why I still have a great relationship with my parents.
(Not at all insinuating that anyone here has a bad or poor relationship with their parents. I don't know you after all. Where I grew up and where I am now, it is my experience that families like this are rare.)

I bet if you talked to your parents about the situation, they would probably agree with you on not wanting your friend to ride, and then it will not be a lie. It is a commonly accepted excuse in childhood(including teen years) to say "My parents won't let me do such and such" from going out to doing whatever else. It is usually accepted without too much drama and a friendship is not strained too much. Whereas, emotional kids are quick to take offense and might become very upset and angry and might stop wanting to be your friend if you come out and say that you do not want it. They feel betrayed and slighted, especially if it I something they are very excited about.

You know your friend though. Do what you think will work best with her.
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