Horse people "attitude"
 
 

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Horse people "attitude"

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  • Ladies riding horses attitude problem
  • Horse people's attitudes

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    09-07-2011, 09:56 PM
  #1
Weanling
Horse people "attitude"

I am an adult. The people I ride with are adults. So what is it about horses that makes some people act like children?

I am admittedly a timid rider but I am getting more confident all the time. I am new to riding as an adult( took a few months of lessons now have my own horse- I owned a horse as a teenager but its different as an adult). I asked a very experienced friend of mine for help with a problem I've been having with my horse. Instead of suggestions I got several minutes of "he would never do that with me, I'm so wonderful, blah blah." Basically instead of helping she just put me down. I don't understand the attitude. I already think I am awful at this, I already am scared to death of ruining this horse by letting him get away with stuff so I try hard not to. That's why I asked. Because what I was trying wasn't working...

Is it horses that bring out that attitude/braggart in people? Or have I just stumbled upon one bad apple? Does anyone else sometimes feel surrounded by people who would rather brag than offer constructive criticism?

I'm really down. Had a bad ride then her putting me down just has me thinking I will never be good enough at this.
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    09-07-2011, 09:59 PM
  #2
Green Broke
Sounds like a person inclined to a superiority complex - that's a character flaw, nothing to do with horses -- the horses were just a tool in that it was something where it was clear that she had an advantage over you when you sought advice (showing vulnerability).
     
    09-07-2011, 10:07 PM
  #3
Foal
I have a few like that :s I think they're just in possible to evade. I think they're just jealous of you. Apparently I am considered the experienced one in my gaggle, but whenever this one 'friend' comes to me for equine advice, it usually falls on deaf ears, in her eyes, she's the better rider, and always will be. Don't take it to heart.
     
    09-07-2011, 10:11 PM
  #4
Yearling
It may seem like that sometimes, but there are definitely good horse people. Helpful, fun, knowledgeable, and amazing teachers. There are good and bad people in this world, having a horse doesn't change that.

There are some good and some bad. Find the good and stick to em, you'll learn a ton!

Oh and don't be discouraged with your horse. We all make mistakes and I really admire your courage to keep trying. We all have to learn and we are all constantly learning, even the most experienced horsemen will tell you that. Find someone to teach you that is concerned with helping you, not making themselves feel better. Those people are not true horsemen if they cannot be humble. If there's one thing I've learned from my horses, it's humility
     
    09-07-2011, 10:11 PM
  #5
Green Broke
[QUOTE=Dresden;1165923]I am an adult. The people I ride with are adults. So what is it about horses that makes some people act like children?

QUOTE]


Unfortunately, I think the major contributing factor is insecurity of the braggart. I also have noticed through the years as I meet people and learn from others that there will always be those who get off by putting you down. Don't let them get to you; it's what they want. Just walk away and don't give them one more minute of your time- they are not worth it.
Spend you time with people who are supportive; they ARE out there. I have found many truly considerate, helpful people amongst the puerile juveniles who vie for status and attention, often spurred by resentment and jealousy.
Keep the faith and believe in yourself! If you don't, no one else will..
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    09-07-2011, 10:15 PM
  #6
Green Broke
Thats why I'm not friends with horse people any more. I got sick of all the one uping.
     
    09-07-2011, 10:19 PM
  #7
Super Moderator
I have found that there does seem to be a rather high percentage of people with a real attitude problem associated with horses. It can vary greatly with place. One barn might be a box of hellcats on hooves, while another is women (mostly) who support each other and are mores sisters in riding. I am fortuneate that where Mac is, it's more of the second category, though not 100%.
It really is hard to keep a wall between yourself and those who would critisize and heap negativity on you. Some advice from the more experienced must be expected and recieved willingly . But I guess you'll have to get a bit thicker skin there. You aren't going to ruin your horse. Not likely. And even if you allow some bad habits to take root, they can be uprooted, too.

Really try to find a mentor who you respect and who treats you as you are; a novice, not an idiot.
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    09-07-2011, 10:32 PM
  #8
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dresden    
Is it horses that bring out that attitude/braggart in people? Or have I just stumbled upon one bad apple? Does anyone else sometimes feel surrounded by people who would rather brag than offer constructive criticism?
I really don't know what it is about many horse folks, but on the occasions that I trailer over to a local stables to ride with some acquaintances (wouldn't really call them friends, and all ladies, if that matters), I always take a lawn chair and a beer because I have to watch a 45 minute episode of 'As the Barn Turns' before they're ready to ride.
If it ever came to the point that we couldn't keep our horses at home, I would probably sell them all or shoot myself rather than having to live with all the barn drama I see.
Hang in there, riding really is fun.
     
    09-07-2011, 10:43 PM
  #9
Super Moderator
Horses, like alcohol, can bring out what is really at the core of many people. If they are nice, horses bring out the richest form of nice from them. If they are mean and sour at their core, that can also be brought out in spades.

Horses can also become simply accessories for many people too. They are only used to prove to people how wonderful they are. You can tell these people by the way there is so little true emotion given to the horse. They are ONLY a tool.

Now, I'm not talking about the folks who use horses for their work, as in cattle workers or pack guides.Their horses are tools for the job. I'm talking about those who have no desire to have any bond with their horse. I see folks like this at every level. When I detect this in any student I teach, their time with me becomes very limited.
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    09-07-2011, 11:01 PM
  #10
Weanling
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyliny    
Some advice from the more experienced must be expected and recieved willingly .

Really try to find a mentor who you respect and who treats you as you are; a novice, not an idiot.
I love getting advice. I'm trying so hard to do this right and any advice is more than welcome. Its the repeated "I am better than you" statements that get to me. I know she is better than me. She's been doing this for 20 years. Of course she's better! That's why I asked her. I knew Lucky would never do this with her so I thought she could tell me how to stop it.

I got frustrated and thank you all for letting me vent and for the words of encouragement. I do need to get a thicker skin ;) its nice to know I am not the only one who has run across this attitude from horsey people :)
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