When I was fifty years old I received a notice from Western Bank for a free checking account. Then, when I was 60 I was eligible for a discount at GoodWill. At age seventy I became eligible for a senior hunting and fishing license. After I’ve lived in Oregon for 50 years I will be eligible for the Pioneer hunting/fishing license and the licenses will be free----but not for very long. Then I started getting ads for scooters so I could regain my lost mobility; flyers from cremation societies and end of life insurance plans. Last week I received an ad for some gadget to correct erectile dysfunction. Hey, erectile dysfunction would be a blessing. Did I mention that I get a two dollar senior discount at Great Clips? They can afford it. I don’t have as much hair as I used to.
Okay, so today there is this email asking me to take some kind of horse product survey. It promised that it wasn’t a sales promotion and made me eligible to be automatically entered into a $100 cash drawing. The survey began by asking personal information like age, gender etc. It asked me which income bracket I was in and the next section asked my age and when I clicked on the correct age bracket I received the message, “SORRY. YOU CAN'T CONTINUE PARTICIPATING IN THE SURVEY”.
So, I go back to my email and reclick on the fricking link. I click that I am a 35 year old chick with an income of $100,000 a year before taxes and that I have a master’s degree and bingo! I’m in like Flynn. (That’s an old saying that goes back to Errol Flynn who starred in the first Robin Hood movie and was a notorious womanizer, for those of you who are too young to know.) The product is a new fly spray with some super ingredient that is supposed to be effective on either you or your horse for a period of a year or so. This is one of those surveys that has boxes to check: Strongly agree. Somewhat agree. Don’t agree or disagree etc. Then it starts to ask all these stupid questions that I would only know if I had already used the product; “Doesn’t irritate your skin; Is effective; Performs better than other products.” Then I came to a box for “Good Value” This fly spray was $24 for less than a pint. I mean, I could spray one side of my horse and maybe my left arm pit. So, I marked “disagree.” That’s when the survey mysteriously froze up and wouldn’t allow me to continue. I guess I can kiss off my $100.