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post #1 of 33 Old 06-13-2010, 05:24 PM Thread Starter
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Location: Port Orchard Washington State
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Talking Horse Talk. literally

I brought this up with a couple of my friends and after looking at me sideways they asked jokingly "what are you smoking?" This is a perfectly reasonable question, given that I frequently talk to my horse and my other animals and try to figure out what a verbal response from them would be if I could understand them.

Here's the question: If your horse(s) could speak. What would they say? What would their attitude or tone be in a verbal response? And would they have an accent or any kind/what language would they speak.

For example. Caleigh when I'm riding her would probably just complain or argue with me about what I'm working with her on. I don't think she'd have an accent and since English is the only language I know and understand, I'll go with that one for her. If we're trotting circles and she bends really well and I tell her "good girl! Keep it up" like I normally would, I'd expect something like "psssh Uh huh yeah I know...whatever... "

If we're just riding maybe on a trail ride I think we'd carry on a slightly stoner sounding conversation about how the leaves move and cast shadows that she doesn't immediately recognize and the dude that just came whizzing by on his bike but then since I say they aren't going to hurt her and the horse reflected in the pond is actually her and no she's not drowning...everythings ok. Haha (and this is what triggered the "what are you smoking" response from my friends. Haha)

I don't know Sampson all that well yet so I'm not sure if he's the talkative type, however he's full of body language so I think he'd be the tall quiet boy that just wants to please but isn't quite sure what to say. He does need a lot of reassurance though and has the mentality of a nervous 5 year old at the moment so I'd expect lots of questions that require anywhere from simple to very extreme in detail explanations.

So what would your horse say, what would they sound like, in what situation, and what language.


I'm going to go for a walk with the doggies and read everything when I get back! I'm really looking forward to the responses!

When life gives you lemons....chuck em at whoever is giving them to you!
I don't want lemons! I want cookies!

Last edited by drafts4ever; 06-13-2010 at 05:31 PM.
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post #2 of 33 Old 06-13-2010, 05:45 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Arizona
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I'm not sure over all, but after all three kids got two rides each of me leading Ezra around last night, I'm sure he was just bored out of his skull and would have loved to start complaining, "enough already with the walking I want to move!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed Racer View Post
All horse people are crazy, but some of us are higher functioning than others.
http://crazychicknlady.livejournal.com/
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post #3 of 33 Old 06-13-2010, 05:45 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central California
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Today was "Are you going to just stand there, or are you going to give me a drink of that soda?" "Okay, fine." *looks away, gives mom the cold shoulder, and lets out a big sigh.

Trail rides. "Oooh! This is fun! Look at all this cool stuff! Mom, why I you nervous? I know I just got started, but I got this!"

With other horses: "WHAT are you doing? I don't play. Let me sleep. I'm a draft horse I grew up in a pasture of cows! What do you expect?"

On the ground. "Mom, it's soooo windy. Can I get a little closer? Thanks. Okay... can I get a little MORE closer?? ZZZzzzZZzzz..."

Meeting a new horse: "Ohai. I like you you're nice.__________ HEYYYY!! THAT wasn't very nice!!".

Trailering: "Nope. Not doing it. Oooh! Foodz!!" **klip-klopp klip-klopp klip-klopp**

And always my favorite: "Mom, whatcha doin? Hmmmmmmmmmm????? Ahhh. I see. Lemmee jus' tip this here wheel barrel over.... heeheeheeheehee" **trots away**

"All I pay my psychiatrist is the cost of feed and hay, and she'll listen to me allll day."
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post #4 of 33 Old 06-13-2010, 06:51 PM
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I would LOVE TO KNOW WHAT MY HORSE WOULD SAY. Seriously. The majority of the time he's just....ugh. Like that's his expression; that of a surly old man. I'm sure a large part of it is do to the fact that his whole body hurts from arthritis and such, because when I put liniment on him he perked right up (like jumping those cement parking blocks, lol), but mostly he just has baggage. If he could tell me, although I might not be able to fix it, I would certainly be able to better work with him.

Here are a couple of scenarios:

"What do you want?"*comes to stall door, nasty face. "Oh, you bring food for me? NOM NOM thanks so much"

"Umm heeeey that's my hay right there" *reaches for hay as it passes by on the cart

"THATS MY YELLOW BUCKET, that's MY YELLOW BUCKET, that's MY YELLOW BUCKET" *pacing his stall until we give him his grain*

"Oh, we're trotting now? Okay" *picks up trot*

Last edited by justsambam08; 06-13-2010 at 06:56 PM.
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post #5 of 33 Old 06-13-2010, 07:11 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Watertown, MN
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I would love it if Soda could talk. It would make my life significantly easier that's for sure.

A couple of scenarios:
In the morning -
"Hey Mom!! Did you sleep good? Like all the mud I got on myself for you to brush off? I know how much you like to brush me."

Trailriding -
"Do you see THAT? Hold on tight, we might need to run. I'll take care of it as long as you stay on." "RUN" "Why aren't you letting me RUN???!!" "That puddle is going to eat us!" "Are you sure???" "REALLY sure????" "Alright then..." "REALLY????"

Or this "Can we go faster?" "Can we go faster?" "Come on pleeeeeeeezzzz????"

The other day:

"But I want to run home to Flame." "I don't want to turn" (as he's going sideways instead of turning, so I give him a kick to add some impetous) "FINE!!! You want a turn?? I turned and for good measure I'm throwing in a rear/buck/leap sideways" "F*** OFF!!!" (I'm getting him undercontrol after this little tantrum, asking for his head, etc) "No no no no, I'm NOT going to do it!" "You're not the boss of me!" "Dammitt...." "Oh alright, you win."



All of this is in the tone of a hyperactive teenage boy.... Goofy horse.
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post #6 of 33 Old 06-13-2010, 07:25 PM
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Well it depends on the horse:

3yo Arab stallion: "Oh here comes that pathetic life form again, I suppose she expects to ride me, how humiliating, what would the mares think"

3yo QH gelding (lives with the above mentioned stallion): "Oh my gosh, here she comes, whooooo, pick me pick me please please pretty please with a cherry on top I wanna come work!"

7yo TB mare (stares at me as she is being groomed): "This is the dumbest activity ever, we both know I am going to roll in the filthiest patch of dirt I can find as soon as you put me back in the pasture"

6yo TB gelding (takes a few minutes to relax into the ride): "I could buck now. Like any second. You just never know. Oh and it is going to be the biggest hugest buck ever so you should be scared, really scared"..... 10 mins later.... "Can't....seem to....get my....head down....aaargh, too much effort, I spose I'll just go along quietly".

3yo TB gelding (big and dumb) "Ummmmm, what's going on?"

P.S. Everyone's resonses were hilarious!

All horses deserve, at least once in their lives, to be loved by a little girl.

Last edited by sarahver; 06-13-2010 at 07:31 PM.
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post #7 of 33 Old 06-13-2010, 07:47 PM
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I can tell this will be a VERY entertaining thread that will be very very popular.

I don't own any horses, but I'll list some of the horses that are at the stable I train at.

Buddy -- "You have enough trouble keeping me slow with that Western saddle. Now that you've switched there'll be no stopping it--I get to JUMP!!! Oh...you're not riding me? ****...she must've told you I'd want to jump.

Sadie-- -heaving terribly-- "WATER WATER WATER!!" -after drinking- "Why do you keep kicking me? I will NOT TROT!! Stop pushing me, stop trying to collect me, ooh poles! Left, right, LEEEEEFTTOTHEWATER!!!"{

Fancy-- "Ooh...I didn't know I was built in with a "Rider Eject" button! *bucks*"

Cheyenne-- "OMGZ WAS THAT A CAR?!?"

Cisco-- "I will NOT go over this fake bridge!"

Sergio-- "RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN"
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post #8 of 33 Old 06-13-2010, 08:09 PM
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Rainy's tone would be the girl who thinks/knows she's amazing, and is constantly trying to off her work on other people. She also loves food.

While trying to groom- "Why are we just standing here? There's stuff outside too, you know." *Ten minutes pass* "Fine, I suppose I'll take a nap."
While lunging- "Uhhh....I'm soooo tired Mom. No more work please! I'll be good, I promise!"
Under saddle- "Haha, you totally fell for the 'I'm so exhausted on the lunge line' trick! Let's GO!!!!"
In her stall- "Where's the food? Seriously?!?"
At shows- "Wow, there are a lot of horses here. This is an excellent time to be perfect and take a nap!"

She's such a weird horse- nuts at home, perfect at shows. Count my blessings, I guess.
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post #9 of 33 Old 06-13-2010, 08:11 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MN Tigerstripes View Post

Trailriding -
"Do you see THAT? Hold on tight, we might need to run. I'll take care of it as long as you stay on." "RUN" "Why aren't you letting me RUN???!!" "That puddle is going to eat us!" "Are you sure???" "REALLY sure????" "Alright then..." "REALLY????"

Haha!!!! Yes!!!

When life gives you lemons....chuck em at whoever is giving them to you!
I don't want lemons! I want cookies!
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post #10 of 33 Old 06-13-2010, 08:52 PM
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I don't know what Tango would say, but Buddy would be the most hilarious animal ever. He'd just totally be an emo kid.

*Sighs deeply* "I hate life. I hate other animals. Please go away and let me die. I'll do what you want only because it's easier than to resist."

As we're shooting a bow and arrow off his back (yes, we have done it. Literally just brought him out, saddled him up and got on without any prior desensitization): "Please shoot me." *Tries to turn head into arrow fire (yes, he actually did that lmfao)*

"Why are you blowing the dead hair off me with an air gun? I hope I die soon."
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