Horse talk for mature people over 40 - Page 1609 - The Horse Forum
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post #16081 of 29437 Old 03-27-2014, 12:37 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,212
• Horses: 4
Hi folks, I heard a joke I just HAVE to share:

A parish priest inherited a pet parrot from a deceased parishioner. After he moved the parrot into his home, he was shocked to discover that it cursed like a tinker, loudly and with profanities that would make anyone blush. He set about trying to re-educate his parrot for months, using patience, gentleness and lots of different educational tactics. All this to no avail - the parrot continued to curse loudly on a daily basis.

Then one day, after the priest was particularly embarrassed by his parrot's behaviour (the bishop had just been to visit), he decided he'd had enough, and in a fit of rage he stuffed the parrot into the freezer. He'd been kind and patient all this time, but now he was going to teach that parrot a lesson! And he heard the parrot squawking and cursing raucously from the freezer, and thought, "I'll just wait and see what happens!"

After 20 minutes, the squawking and cursing started to slow down and reduce in volume. After 30 minutes, dead silence. Five minutes after that, the priest decided to have a look in the freezer to make sure he hadn't overdone it. The parrot was sitting rather stiffly and not making a sound. He put it back on its perch, where it continued to sit stiffly and silently.

Ten minutes later, the parrot began to speak. It said: "My dear Sir, I finally perceive I have given you offence, and for this I sincerely apologise. I solemnly promise to utter no further profanities in your house."

The priest was a bit surprised by this, and asked, "Really? You've suddenly come to your senses just like that?"

And the parrot said, "Oh yes, kind Sir, I am very sorry for my past actions under your roof and you will find me a reformed character, one hundred percent."

The somewhat perplexed priest took advantage of the ensuing silence - yes, silence in the house again at last - and began preparing his next sermon. Five minutes later, the parrot cleared his throat. "Dear Sir, I am sorry to interrupt you in your work, but there is something I really need to know... Would you please tell me what the chicken did?"
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post #16082 of 29437 Old 03-27-2014, 01:12 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,667
• Horses: 0
Rick I too had a look at the weather for the weekend and its sunshine for the next week. Its now official its a drought on our west coast for the 3rd year in a row. Bit late most of the farmers have feed out their winter feed keeping the cattle going through the summer.

I am a bit disturbed at Nickers referring to a family member as fat and being a teacher and all one would think she would refrain from such comments well spotted by you and Corgi we have to see a photo of the tattoo

I used my new heart monitor. Its for fitness so I don't over do the beat rate when exercising. SWMBO walked past and the **** thing stopped it started a few seconds later. Wonder what it will do when I get to see the tattoo

Its Friday 6 09am and I'm off for another riveting day with offenders. Aren't they lucky I'm one of these people that are always in a good mood in the mornings.
Cheers all and enjoy your riding for I have another weekend of work. Bugs misses out again.

My blog you may enjoy the read. Its different.
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post #16083 of 29437 Old 03-27-2014, 02:32 PM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ste-Agathe, Quebec
Posts: 788
• Horses: 3
CritterSitter; how are you today? Hope your on your way to move better with no pain.

Welcome SueC. Nice blog and the whole project of eco-building, permaculture etc is very interesting. We're on a nice piece of land and we hope to be self-sufficient some day, while leaving minimal footprints.

Welcome Ellen Hay and you are right, this thread is lively and full of warm, fun and open-minded people. A place to share both personal life and horse life, to get support and smiles every day.

Welcome Cheryl-Cadam, you are inspiring and hope you'll share your journey with us.

HP: Congratulation, Big Red looks very nice, I love morgans. Let us know how the partnership evolves. Are you confortable with the new horse, barn, people so far?
NM. PICS!!! Trailer means liberty, the world at your door. Do you know if your horses good to hop on a trailer?

Stan, wish I could send you some of our snow to ease the drought. The cold weather is delaying the thaw. We expect sudden and dramatic melting when the heat finally gets here, and flooding following it...

Still too much ice to ride. Will go back-country skiing instead, might just as well enjoy the weather.
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post #16084 of 29437 Old 03-27-2014, 03:17 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Georgia USA
Posts: 6,392
• Horses: 1
Who is fat? I can't find a fat comment. I saw about getting a tat. ??????????

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post #16085 of 29437 Old 03-27-2014, 03:19 PM
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 37
• Horses: 0
Hello all, wasnt on yeasterday got to spend time with the horses and had 2 drs. Apts. Dr want me to spend as mutch time as I can with my took dallas for a walk and magic wanted to play catch me if you dare so guess who didnt get grain? Trainer is coming out sunday (fingers crossed and weather permitting...) Roaddy did you find a place for your horses? (Sorry havent had time to read, had trouble with married teenager) Hope everyons doing good and getting a lot of ridding in
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post #16086 of 29437 Old 03-27-2014, 03:20 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Northwest Florida
Posts: 4,303
• Horses: 4
It was all NM17's doing. She called the new people fat. Search her posts and you will see a ton of damage she caused.

MMM, I did find a place. Go back a couple of pages to see the pics of where they will be going.. hope everything works out with the family and with the horse.
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post #16087 of 29437 Old 03-27-2014, 03:54 PM
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 37
• Horses: 0
Thanks Roaddy im sure it will the kids are moving to another state and my daughter is going to learn a hard leason..but it will lower my bp...well got to go into town..The " hay fairy" went to the horses today. Lol. Dallas a d Magic sure know that green truck...lolwell better get going...
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post #16088 of 29437 Old 03-27-2014, 03:54 PM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ste-Agathe, Quebec
Posts: 788
• Horses: 3
MMM, a doctor that prescribes playing with your critters? COOL!

Roadyy, I forgot to mention: that place you found is fantastic! AND with access to unending trails; that is close to definition of paradise in my book. Did I understand that you are not allowed to have boarders to split expenses? Because it seems it could accomodate a few more horses easily, especially that your boys are happier outside. Then there would be space for boarding inside.
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post #16089 of 29437 Old 03-27-2014, 03:55 PM
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,745
• Horses: 1
Greetings everybody. I see yall are at it again.


Well, if I was that parrot, and after seeing the plight of the chicken (from the parrot's perspective), I wouldn't be asking any questions politely or not. I think I would have acted like I was permanently frozen and be quiet!

And regarding the fat thing. Was it tat or was it fat?

Yall this is way too complex for my little pea brain. I might get corn-fused
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post #16090 of 29437 Old 03-27-2014, 05:29 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Northwest Florida
Posts: 4,303
• Horses: 4
I made the deal for the price I got it at to only keep my 3 on the premises. He is happy with that as it helps keep the pastures from being beaten down from heavy traffic. I could probably rework the deal later if I found a suitable leaser by upping my cost and charging an amount that would bring my cost to half.

I would rather look at a possible lease on my horses for some person to ride than add another horse to the mix, to be honest.

The fat comment was me poking at NM17 about her mentioning we have a ton of new people joining in. Ton being the operative "fat" word. I am overweight so no intention of offending anyone.
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Born Once, Die Twice. Born Twice, Die Once.
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