CW: My approach to finding a lease has been to take lessons and/or do trail rides at several barns just to "get a feel for things". I've now got three possible horses, two of which I've ridden several times, and I'm pretty familiar with the three barns, trails available, people who hang around there, etc. It's definitely not been the most economical way to find a lease, but I have gotten to do a lot of fun riding and I think I'll be in a good place to make an informed choice. (More on that in another post.)
OK so totally off topic but I need to rant. My brother passed away 2 years ago shy of his 47th birthday and ever since my mom has taken it upon herself to help out my sister in law and 2 nephews (age 19 and 17). OK that's fine they are by themselves, but in the mean time I think she has forgotten that she still has a daughter, ME. Everything is Shelley and the boys which I can understand but.... it hurts that I am not thought of the same way. They alway try to be fair between my daughter and the two boys which is great but latest example. We have a family reunion coming in August. 100 years on the farmhouse my mom grew up on. Big fun! Mom and dad so far have paid for my sister inlaws and nephews fees have booked and paid for their flights (some through points) and expected us to rent a SUV to drive all of us 3 hours to reunion. They are paying for their hotel room etc. I told her tonight that we may not be able to go because of unforseen expenses this year 3800 for roof, Pepper and Hunters vet bills etc/ She said oh too bad we will miss you there. Am I wrong for being upset? I don't expect them to pay for us but sheesh they will move mountains to make sure SIL and nephews are there but for us its Oh well darn. Sorry just feeling crappy right now. And its not like SIL is destitute the house is paid off, she has a travel trailer and pays for a place to keep it and could have a lot more money if she sold her SUV. She is so taking advantage of them. I am so mad right now. Thoughts?
Hunter - As CW said, you have a right to be upset. I'd be very hurt in that situation too. Was she like that with you and your brother growing up or do you think she feels obligated to take care of your SIL and children?
Hunter, I am sure I would feel aggrieved too.
I do not brood on things but have them out in the open No Nonsense Nancy that's me) Sit down and write a letter, put it all on paper and either send it or burn it. Either way it will make you feel better.
MY sister and B-I-L got into financial trouble with the first Gulf War (they were in Kuwait) Nothing went right for them and I know that my parents and I, helped them out financially and in anyway we could.
I will say that until that point my sister and I were not very close but it brought us together in a way that nothing could break now.
Later, my parents felt guilty that they had given them so much and nothing to me. My sister also felt this way, but it really did not bother me.
It did make things tough for me. The children came here for part of their school holidays so sis could carry on working, I bought them clothing, helped pay for school trips.
Things are on an even keel for them now but with both girls at university I still help them with books. I don't have to but I enjoy it (until I get my bank statement!)
In return I have had the privilege of being part of the children's lives. They are good young adults with an excellent work attitude and a compassion for those in need. They will do well in the world as decent human beings and the fact that I had a small part in shaping them gives me pride.
There is nothing as odd as families, as the saying goes "God gave us our families, thank Heaven we can choose our friends"
Money is the root of much trouble, it can lead to jealousy and rifts that never really heal.
Personally I couldn't give two hoots about it. Not because I am financially well off because I am not.
Perhaps your mother feels guilty that her son died leaving a family financially troubled.
Perhaps she feels that now he has passed that she will loose contact with her grandchildren and this way she has contact with them.
Who knows. I sure don't.
Hugs to you because it is not an easy time for you when hurt by those that you love.
This is my Fjord Deere Country Titan Gyllir (aka Titan) he was born Aug 2011.
This is my 22 yr old QH Sonny's Lucky Pro (aka Sonny) who I rescued from a slaughter bound truck in June 2011. He was a show horse back in the day and his owners discarded him after 18 yrs so they could buy a colt. :(
This is my QH Oby a Nasty Boy (aka Toby). He is 17 and was diagnosed with heaves last month. :(
He used to be a parade horse before I bought him. And before that he was a cattle horse out in OK
This is Alens Sterling Silver our 7 yr old Tennessee Walker (aka Cherokee). He is the herd leader and my husbands horse.
This is Sadie. We adopted her from a rescue about 3 yrs ago as a companion for my elderly horse Cocoa. But Cocoa died last year. We think Sadie is a shetland and about 25 yrs old.
She is a mean little thing. LOL
And last but not least, my husbands baby. A 2 yr old Tennessee Walker, Jubilee's Precious Star (aka Comanche). He is the calmest baby ever. What a mellow soul.