Horse talk for mature people over 40 - Page 510 - The Horse Forum
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post #5091 of 29437 Old 08-23-2012, 01:23 AM
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alberta
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Thank you to all those caring adults who put in the effort to help nurture both your own and others children to become respectful, responsible adults. I am a parent of two awesome kids, and have taught high school for nearly 20 years. In my experience, what kids need most is an adult who cares enough about them to set and enforce reasonable boundaries, while still providing the kids with opportunities to learn, explore, and develop their own talents. This can only be done by correcting behavior, and not by punishing it.

With regards to "spare the rod, spoil the child", I think we have to remember that the "rod" isn't necessarily physical. There are many other very effective ways to reenforce boundaries aside from a swat on the behind. (Not that a swat on the behind isnt sometimes necessary as an attention grabber). What I often see in families with difficult or unruly children are a series of mixed messages, or inconsistencies in what is expected, what is reinforced and how it is reenforced. For example, I've taught many kids who must go to bed early because their marks are falling, yet an unsupervised television and video game console sits on top of the "study desk" in their bedroom giving the kid full access any time day or night. Kids are also often set up to fail because they are inappropriately 'punished' for their transgressions, or the punishment doesn't fit the crime. There is no mechanism to correct the behavior. For example, suspending a student for skipping school is ludicrous when you think about it.

When I think back on it, it's an awful lot like training horses. We know that with horses, the correction must be appropriate to the offense and that consistency is everything. Just as inconsistency is unfair to the horse who is expected to learn it is also unfair to the kid who is expected to learn. Being diligent in correcting and guiding even the smallest behaviors is hard work and requires us to see above ourselves in concern for the other person, or animal. So often with both kids and horses, we respond emotionally to poor behavior, which usually goes hand in hand with applying inconsistent or inappropriate "punishments" rather than corrections. In my mind, punishment says, " I care about how your behavior affects me", where a correction says, "I care about how your behavior affects you". Those people who successfully work with kids and parent kids to become great people and those that successfully train horses know the difference well. I guess that is what makes them good leaders.
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Last edited by Koolio; 08-23-2012 at 01:29 AM.
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post #5092 of 29437 Old 08-23-2012, 02:40 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: New Zealand
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Originally Posted by Chance59 View Post
Come on Stan, post a joke or two, I will look forward to a laugh in the morning with my coffee! ;)
If I get into trouble you take the rap.

"I have outlived my pecker."
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.

What used to be my sex appeal,

Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the ****in' thing.
It used to be embarrassing,

The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues..
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!

Very very sorry
I will now go to the corner

My blog you may enjoy the read. Its different.
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post #5093 of 29437 Old 08-23-2012, 02:57 AM
Green Broke
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Location: Camp Verde, Az
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post #5094 of 29437 Old 08-23-2012, 09:55 AM
Green Broke
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Location: AZ
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-We were warned, but it is funny!
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post #5095 of 29437 Old 08-23-2012, 10:26 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia
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OMG STan!!!!! That was hilarious, just made my day AGAIN!!!!
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post #5096 of 29437 Old 08-23-2012, 12:06 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Surrey BC
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that Stan is way too funny and true

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post #5097 of 29437 Old 08-23-2012, 01:47 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Cedarville, OH
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Had to call my husband and read him that one....

Oh we needed that. After the funeral and everything.


Horses are proof that God love's us and wants us to be happy!
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post #5098 of 29437 Old 08-23-2012, 03:36 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southeastern US
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Stan.........shame on me for laughing out loud. :)

There is no better smell on the face of this earth than that of a sweet, warm horse, and no sound better than the creak of a good old saddle.
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post #5099 of 29437 Old 08-23-2012, 06:03 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Lake Ontario, NY, USA
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Okay, I'll take the rap.... but it was so funny, especially reading it at 6:00 am this morning! Really though, we are all <ahem> adults here, I don't think any of us would take offense! ;)
Okay now I've had a long stressful disappointing day(except for the hour when I got to ride Suzie, and love on her), tell me a joke to cheer me up, lol!

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post #5100 of 29437 Old 08-23-2012, 07:20 PM
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Virginia, USA
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Hey everyone! This week has been crazy busy and I haven't had a moment to even breathe. I work in public education and school started this week. 'Nough said. :)

Stan, like Susan, I had to share that one with hubby. Loved it.

Haven't been able to ride this week but hope to get out there tomorrow evening. Hubby's horse has been given the all clear to ride but he is going to take it very easy on him. I really doubt he even gets in the saddle tomorrow. Saturday really scared him. Scuffy may just get a rubdown and some hand grazing.

Hope everyone has a great Friday tomorrow!
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